Achieving a Room of Your Own

Virginia Woolf wrote “A woman must have … a room of her own if she is to write fiction" in her book A Room of One’s Own. It turns out that most people need such a place where they can be entirely themselves and by themselves - whether or not they want to write fiction. We need it for spiritual renewal and deep thinking…to be fully aware of our life…to center and be resilient to the surprises life brings. It is the place for study and contemplation…for planning…for doing things we want to do by ourselves without constant interaction with anyone. It is our own personal cave.

How do you achieve a room of your own? Here are some ideas: 

• Identify space.
  • Optimally, this space is an actual room that is just for you all the time.
  • Next best is a space that can be yours for designated parts of the day - any day that you want it. This could be a corner of your bedroom while your spouse is enjoying their own cave somewhere else in the house. It could be the kitchen table when everyone else in the household is away from home.
  • Another option is a public place where you will be alone even if there are other people around. It doesn’t have to be an actual room to fulfill your ‘room of your own’ requirement. It could be a kiosk in a library, a park bench, your car parked at a scenic overlook, a booth in a diner. It is a ‘virtual room of your own.’ Maybe doing something like this occasionally is worthwhile to give oneself new perspective.
  • Furnish the space in a way that supports what you want to do there. It could be a computer, good lighting, and comfortable office chair. It could be lots of surface area for art projects. It could be a rocker recliner and television. Will you go somewhere else for food or do you want food available in the room?
  • Think about the view from the room.
    • What is it like at night…during the day? I like to have plenty of lighting for at night but generally only have the small desk lamp on rather than all the lights. I like the glow of candles and the shadows in the corners. During the day I like to have a great view from the window visible from where I sit.
    • Items in the room that don’t have function but make it appealing to you are important too. I like glass boxes for paper clips, peacock feathers, and wind chimes hung from the mini-blind frame. On the walls I have Georgia O’Keeffe posters, a white board and some metal sculpture.

Remember - your room will be unique to you. Where it is and what is in it must be tailored to fit perfectly with how you want it be. It doesn’t take a lot of money; it does take thinking about what you need and want.