An Empty House

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A familiar house looks so different when the people and furniture are missing. That has happened to my parents’ house. The view of the garden through the sliding glass door is the same but there is no travel chair that my mother found convenient to move her position with the sun.

The sunlight coming through the windows of a bedroom and shines on a bare wall that would have recently held large pictures and the headboard of a king-size bed.

Some of decorative touches added over 33 years ago by the previous owner are still intact….a part of the house that stays. They seem more obvious with so much else gone.

The house will likely change a lot with the new owner; it will be renovated and resold…sparkling in new way…for a new family. We take the memories with us, leaving the house behind.

My Parents’ House

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Once the decision was made in mid-December with my parents to move to an assisted living group home, I found myself examining the house that that had called home for more than 30 years – the last home they would own…the only one that didn’t still have a mortgage when they moved. The contents documented the whole of their lives.

The creation of the garden room not long after they moved into the house was a project that added more than space to the house.

The space was lined with house plants (some that had grown quite large) and had great light. The jigsaw puzzle table was there…a rocker and glide…and a transport chair that was easily maneuvered into a sunny spot to observe birds outside at the feeder or read the paper. The glide, puzzle table, and transport chair were moved to the assisted living group home.

The large plant in the foreground of the picture with the transport chair is one that grew up into the skylight of the garden room over the decades. My sister had brought it home from her work when an office closed. It bloomed in December (something it had done rarely over the years)…to the joy of my parents and the whole family. My sister has now managed to move it (in a U-Haul truck) to her house about an hour away; we were all relieved that it survived the trek intact.

A clay pot that another sister made was in the corner of my parents bedroom holding a collection of peacock feathers and dried seed pod/flowers….a suncatcher. My mother selected it as something to move with her – perhaps because of the memories of each item and the vase itself. Peacock feathers are special in my family because my maternal grandparents kept peacocks in their later years.

Back in the garden room a small poinsettia purchased recently sat on the windowsill. The second image is my favorite artsy image of December 2023! The pot was small enough for the windowsill at the assisted living group home so it moved with my parents.

We are now in the phase of sifted though everything in the house….taking a little more to my parents, distributing items to family members and my parents’ friends, donating some items….recycling and trash are the last resort. There are ups and downs to the work. It is giving us time to internalize the pivot point in my parents’ lives (and our own).

Ramping up Elder Care – January 2024

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A lot has happened since I wrote the December chapter of ‘Ramping up Elder Care.’ The assisted living group home we initially found ended up not having space…so we looked at several others and settled on one that was probably better than the one we found in their neighborhood in every way but the location. When we took our parents to see their new home the day before the move, one was optimistic…the other one was silent but attentive.

The focused activity was intense to get them moved just before the end of 2023. Our strategy to have a night time caregiver in their home during December and then move them to assisted living worked….but it was more challenging that we anticipated.

  • The nightly caregivers were not consistent; we had over 5 people that handled the overnight shift during the month. Almost all of them slept for part of the night. One was very talkative. One was not very helpful. One got sick and had to leave early.

  • We opted to have two rooms for them in the assisted living group home – one for sleeping and the other for a private living room. It seems to be working well – better than having one larger room. There are 6 other people living in the assisted living group home.

  • Our parents had a lot of clothes that had accumulated over the years. Some no longer fit but one of them insisted that most were moved to assisted living.

  • There were a lot of toiletries. We opted to not take any that had dust on them! It was a harder than expected job to pack up what they would need.

  • My dad had to transition from a safety razor to an electric….which he hated.

  • My mother only began to stabilize on her meds toward the end of the month. For a few days we thought we might have to continue to give her two of her medications rather than transitioning those medications to the assisted living facility staff but it stabilized just before the big move. Physically, she made progress with the help of an excellent occupational therapist and the suggestion from a physical therapist to try massage boots for the edema in her feet and lower legs (OK’d by her vascular surgeon)

  • We celebrated their 71st wedding anniversary with special visits from family members and great food for the whole week before the move. It was joyous…but also stressful to get the visits scheduled at good times for everyone and to eat all the excellent leftovers!

  • One sister handled financies, another handled medical transition, another focused on evaluating what would need to be done with the contents of the house and sheds; I focused on my parents’ needs since I was in the house with them those last few weeks. Everyone helped pack up what needed to go on moving day….and it was still chaotic and stressful.

  • In retrospect…moving on the Friday before a holiday weekend was not the best decision because the staffing at the assisted living was reduced over the weekend and they had no time to learn to supply thickened liquids required by one of our parents (so we ended up supplying them for the weekend).

And now, as I write this, I am home in Missouri….monitoring via the cameras we’ve installed in their rooms at the assisted living but otherwise trying not to interfere as they get acclimated to their new surroundings.

The next stage is getting their house ready to sell. I’ll be back in Carrollton in mid-January for that project; hopefully I’ll be rested and ready to work by then! And my parents will be adjusted to the big move from their home to the assisted living group home.

Previous posts: November 2023, November 2023 update, December 2023

Last Sunrise of 2023

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I was in my parents’ house alone on the last day of 2023. They had already moved to assisted living (more on that in the monthly ‘ramping up elder care’ post coming soon) and the first round of distribution of the furniture had occurred: to their new home, to the rest of the family. It felt odd to be there without them and without the jumble of possessions that had been there for over 30 years. The beauty of the sunrise changed the trajectory of my mood for the better!

I loved the color caught in the line of trees visible from the backyard. I took several zoomed images. I think the last one is my favorite.

It occurred to me that the prettiest sunrises are not the ones the occur on a clear morning…it takes some clouds to catch/reflect the light. Maybe that is a good analogy for life too – that complexity and challenge make life better!

Ten Little Celebrations – June 2023

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Every day brings multiple little celebrations…I choose one to log for the day and then select 10 each month to savor in this post.

One year anniversary for our Missoure home. June 2022 is when we moved to Missouri. We’ve settled into the house and I’ve confirmed that my favorite room in the house is my office…just as it was in the Maryland house. The house itself and being closer to family have confirmed again and again that we made a good decision to move when did! So we are celebrating the anniversary.

Dishwasher and sprinkler system working. Of course, every house needs maintenance…in June both our dishwasher and sprinkler system had problems (dishwasher leaked water and the sprinkler system developed a broken head/pipe after the grinding of the pine stump). Fortunately, both were easily fixed (rather than an expensive replacement) and we celebrated that they are functioning again.

Internet/TV/phones working. Shortly after I got to my parents’ home in Carrollton, their internet and TV and phones failed. We had a painful 4 days….celebrated when the tech finally came and replaced their outside box (it was at least 18 years old!).

Scissor-tail at Josey Ranch. Celebrated when I saw a scissor-tailed flycatcher while I was out of my car with camera in hand!

Ducklings at Josey Ranch. Celebrated seeing newly hatched ducklings with a mom trying to protect them from turtles!

Seeing beautyberry flowering. I had previously only noticed beautyberry plants after they had their purple berries. This June I celebrated knowing where the plants grew so I could see the flowers.

Trimming all the dead parts out of crape myrtle and rose buses. It was a daunting task because it seemed like there was so much to trim. It got a little better when I discovered that my gauntlet gloves worked (not thorn pricks from the roses) and that the dead twigs/branches would burn easily. I celebrated when the task was completed…felt like I had accomplished a lot in getting my yard looking better for the summer.

Buying a fragrant sumac (native plant sale). I celebrated my first native plant addition to my landscaping…there will be more through the years.

Homemade marinade with balsamic vinegar. Celebrating trying a new recipe and realizing that I will never need to buy bottle mariade again!

Road trip to St. Louis. Celebrating another road trip with my daughter! Blog posts coming up re our adventure.

A Patient Perspective of Medical Care in the US

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Part of the aftermath of making a long distance move is establishing new doctors. I’ve completed the process at this point – 8 months after the move. It’s been a learning experience. I started out with the intention to find a primary care physician and specialists in the same system so that I would only have one portal for all my medical information – unlike my legacy situation that involved at least 4 different portals. The portal for my new doctors is well organized and has become the primary way I get results and send questions/messages to my doctors. In general, the lab work is done very quickly and posted on the portal; I see it about the same time that the doctor sees it. The system of doctors – specialists – labs – hospital also includes several urgent care facilities that I appreciate; their availability can help avoid a busy ER; I’ve already used an Urgent Care facility prior to my first appointment with my new primary care doctor when I got a very painful bite that looked infected. On the downside -

  • Vision and dental care are not general part of ‘medical care’ from an insurance perspective or systems with MDs; vision and dental are still separate. The initial dental practice I selected wanted to do very different (and expensive) kinds of cleaning for my teeth and I’ve opted to go to a new one that is more like the dental practices I’ve used in the past. It’s hard to know how to evaluate dental recommendations since they are outside of the primary medical system. I like the vision care practice I chose but may have similar misgivings as I get closer to needing cataract surgery.

  • The various specialist doctors and non-blood labs/radiology are in separate buildings; they are relatively close together, but I am careful to record the building address  in my appointment calendar; it’s a high traffic area and it could be challenging to get to the appointment on time if I went to the wrong building first.

Thinking about the big picture of medical care in the US - It is not achieving ‘best in world’ results based on healthy lifespan stats. Why is that?

  • Insurance is expensive and confusing. I’ve had health insurance since the late 1970s and the trend has been increasing cost and complexity over the duration. Checking that doctors are in-network and drugs are ones that are on the formulary is a required skill to get insurance to cover costs….and even then, sometimes surprise charges occur. What happens when your doctor prescribes a drug that is not on the insurance company’s formulary? I am very aware that I have been fortunate to always be insured….understand that the cost of good medical insurance is prohibitive to many and that often means not getting medical care until there is a health crisis…and going to an emergency room.

  • Cultural reluctance/aversion to embrace public health measures. Over the past decade, there has been increased resistance to public health measures (for example, not getting vaccinations for children, older adults declining vaccines, flying when sick (coughing, sneezing),  and aggressively against mask wearing at any time) and demands on health professionals for treatment that is not appropriate for their condition (for example, demanding an antibiotic for a viral infection or are an ineffective drug for COVID or a drug advertised on television that is for a condition the patient does not have). I am mentioning the demands for inappropriate treatment under public health because it impacts the costs for medical care overall, increases resistance of microbes to antibiotics making them less effective when they are needed, and makes the workplace for doctors/nurses more stressful (and some decide to leave the profession resulting in shortages of skilled personnel).

  • Dominate lifestyle. We live in a world of fast food and ultra-processed foods…people are more sedentary because of their jobs or the type of entertainment they choose. It is harder to “eat healthy” now that when I was growing up and as a young adult. Many people in the country are obese and/or in poor physical condition. However – there are a lot healthier foods available now if we educate ourselves. For example – kale was not something I ate as child, now it is my ‘super green’; other foods that I’ve only know in the past 20 or so years include: pomegranates, edamame, beet greens, red cabbage, butternut squash, ground turkey. There are also a lot of ways to measure physical activity…and some have leveraged those metrics to become more physically fit. Still – healthy lifestyles are not as prevalent now. The bump in life expectancy that was achieved after many people managed to stop (or not start) smoking is being eroded.

  • Aggressive intervention with drugs. The medical system tends to treat with drugs rather than recommending lifestyle changes. Part of this skew is the way doctors are trained (often nutrition is not included in their education) and part is probably based on their experience that most patients will not follow through and make a change. If a drug can change the measure the doctor is seeing (like blood pressure or cholesterol levels), then the doctor tends to immediately medicate. Any unwanted side effects from the drugs are resolved through changing to a different drug or adding a drug to reduce the side effect or telling the patient that the benefit of the drug is greater than the impact of the side effect. But – if people can change their lifestyle, they are probably addressing the root cause of the problem rather than artificially doing something that changes the measure but leaves what is causing the problem the same. Long term maybe we’ll know if the drugs really do very much for increasing healthy lifespan.

  • Specialists with blinders to anything outside their specialty. The notion that a primary care physician can integrate care is overly optimistic.

    • Many times, the specialists are proceeding with their focus; if treatment is meeting the measures they want, side effects or over medication are not a priority for them.  For example – an endocrinologist adjusting medication to get the levels of hormones to a precise level is often unconcerned or dismissive of a patient reporting heart palpitations, hot flashes, and eyebrows falling out.

    • Emergency room doctors are focused on resolving the primary cause of the emergency visit and sending the patient home as soon as possible; this leads to quick fixes that often do not prevent the same issue occurring repeatedly. A good example is cellulitis in older patients; the ER gives them antibiotics and they go home…often returning with cellulitis again in a month or so. If the ER is not overwhelmed and there is an alert attending in the ER or in the hospital, more proactive measures can be taken…perhaps re-evaluating the dosage levels and complexity of existing medications, adding a prophylactic antibiotic, etc. that can prevent rapidly recurring ER visits for cellulitis.

  • Lack of trust. Patients believe doctors may have alternative incentives than patient health when recommending treatment/drugs and doctors believing patients may not be doing as they say and/or taking meds as prescribed. Not sure how this can be bridged other than encouraging more transparency on both sides.

The bottom line – I want to believe that I am proactively maintaining my health and being a knowledgeable patient that asks relevant questions to understand my doctors’ logic….thus making the best of the medical care available…but there are certainly times that I have some doubts. So far, I have been able to resolve those doubts and am satisfied that I am on a healthy path. However - I am increasingly concerned about individuals with fewer financial resources, less healthy or not as knowledgeable. The trend is toward more challenges within the US healthcare system!

Settling in, developing new routines – 4th month

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Our 4th month in Missouri was calmer than the first 3. There is still a lot to be done but we stopped pushing ourselves to keep the pace we had earlier. There are boxes to be unpacked but they are in the storage area and not things we use frequently.

The kittens got their first visit to the vet and are engaging in all our indoor activities. More about them in an upcoming post.

Our yard is looking much better than it did earlier in the summer when it was so hot and dry. We have a yard service for this season so all I am doing is pulling weeds in the flower beds. I am cutting roses to bring into my office. I am also making big plans to transition caring for the yard to myself (the new lawn mower will be electric!) and putting in more bushes (American Beautyberry and oak leaf hydrangea are at the top of my list).

The morning routine in my office has changed slightly because it is dark when I first get there – no watching the birds at the feeder while I enjoy my 1st breakfast (dark chocolate). It is also cooler. I’m using the halogen lamps to flood the room with light and provide a little heat.

Our thermostats in this house are not as sophisticated as the one we had in Maryland. We’ve stayed on ‘Cool’ so far; it’s chilly in the morning but comes on once or twice in the late afternoon and evening. The wall heater in the main bathroom is wonderful – something we haven’t had in any of our previous houses…another aspect to appreciate about this house.

Travel. I did my monthly trip to Carrollton TX…and we made several local outings. We haven’t started the day trips as quickly as I thought we would but October is a prime month for being outdoors and enjoying the fall. I am anticipating my first travel not associated with the move or family in the coming month.

I got out our Halloween decorations (one of our neighbors has a very elaborate Halloween yard) and discovered that they don’t work very well for the front porch in this house; the front door is a muted red…does not go well with orange…and there is not nail in the door. I may just put the decorations inside. On the plus side – the front door will work very well for our Thanksgiving Indian corn and our Christmas wreath…once we add a nail.

I’ve decided to wait for volunteer activities or in-person classes. I would miss too much since I already am committed to be away from home a week of every month. When I am at home…I need to finish the unpacking and continue the hone everything about this place into the home we want.

Settling in, developing new routines – 2nd month

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A lot has happened over the past month. I was at home and settling in except for the one week I spent in Carrollton, TX (an easy road trip).

Roses. I enjoy the roses outside…the bushes were among the first parts of the yard I watered (before we got the sprinkler system fixed). I’ve started bringing in some of the flowers…putting them in a small glass on the windowsill in my office.

Sprinklers and some rain. The sprinkler system is now working, and it helped the yard to begin to recover before the recent rains came. Most of the grass was brown or turning brown before we started watering. There are some parts of the yard that the system doesn’t cover well but the rain has caused the whole yard to green up again.

Scan app at grocery store. One of the local grocery stores has a scan-as-you-shop app like I had in Maryland (Walmart does too but charges a monthly fee for it, so I’ll continue to use the self-checkout in that store). The grocery store is further from the house than the Walmart; my plan is to shop there once a month; I’ve already identified items that the store has that Walmart doesn’t. I did have a small accident in the store: I bumped a can when I was reaching for some seasoned pinto beans on a high shelf; it fell on my big toe; since it was wearing flip flops, it hurt (broke the skin enough to bleed and lots of bruising); the injury has kept me from doing yard work and other activities that I  need to wear close toed shoes; it should be healed enough in the next week or so.

Screens on my office windows. I have tried to take pictures through my office windows and realized that the screens need to be removed – note the grid in the picture of the dragonfly below. When I do it, the windows will need to be cleaned too.

Compost. I bought 2 pieces of cedar edging and made a circle for compost…thinking that I didn’t have enough kitchen scraps to warrant a larger bin. The watermelon rind is loading it up fast! In need to add ‘browns’ to keep it from smelling like garbage…I may have to shred some cardboard. Some of the smaller yard waste can go in too (larger pieces will still have to go to the recycle center).

Trash/recycling. We made one trip to the recycle center taking boxes since there were too many to fit in the bin for curbside collection every other week.

Telescope. The telescope ‘stuff’ has been moved from the garage to the John Deere room – the easier to get it set up in the backyard. We aren’t planning any camping/star parties near term (too hot). Hopefully, there will be some good night skies from our back yard.

Birdfeeder. We have put up one bird feeder, but it is not in an ideal spot; neither one of us can see it unless we look out one of the basement den’s windows. I have seen some house finches on the perch.

Cats. We are preparing the house for cats. That has meant getting rooms cleared of boxes and bins that need to be unpacked…coils of extension cords…anything that might be hazardous to young cats. The cat paraphernalia was in the basement…now it is on the first floor. The largest cat tree is near the big window in the piano (dining) room.

We have chairs and small tables near other windows that will give the cats good views of the outdoors. There are two doors with glass low enough for cats to look out to the deck from floor level. I put pillowcases on the pillows in the breakfast area window seat and raised the blinds a little to provide a view from that vantage point. My husband has bought supplies (litter, food). The cats we are getting are 3 siblings that have been fostered…are now old enough to be adopted. Stay tuned for more cat news!

Previous ‘settling in’ posts: 1st month

Ten Little Celebrations – July 2022

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Like June, July was a high stress month because of our move to Missouri - but with much to celebrate.

Family holiday gathering. The 4th of July was our first ‘holiday’ celebrated in Missouri…having my daughter and son-in-law over for veggies with hummus, steak, corn-on-the-cob, and watermelon.

An easy drive home…and being home again. The drive to Maryland and back was long…but once back in Missouri we celebrated only having one house again…and clearly it was ‘home.’

Dragonfly posing for pictures in our back yard. We seem to have more dragonflies around our yard in Missouri and I celebrate every time I manage to photograph one. The closer location to a pond might be why we are seeing them more frequently.

Being indoors during the hot part of the day. Every day that gets above 100 degrees is one I celebrate being indoors! We’ve had quite a few hot days this July – more in Texas than Missouri.

Getting boxes cleared from the garage. Once the pile gets annoying we make a trip to the recycle center – celebrating that it is convenient and that the garage is clear…until the boxes pile up again.

Springfield Botanical Garden. This is probably my favorite place for a walk in Springfield. It is a place I want to see again and again…through the seasons…finding a little celebration every time.

Little fixes completed. There were some little fixes identified when our Missouri house was inspected. I celebrated when they were completeed – particularly the one in the basement bathroom (since my office is also in the basement).

Josey Ranch green heron and ducklings. I only walked around the place once because it was so hot while I was in Texas…but celebrated the birds that I saw there (blog post coming soon).

Getting car inspected/registered…and MO driver’s liscense. It has been a very long time since I moved to a new state and I anticipated a lot of red tape. I was relieved when we managed to get the cars registered, our driver’s liscense….and register to vote…celebrated when they were all done…and glad that the process was not as difficult as I thought it might be.

Establishing the compost circle. I celebrated finding edging that was high enough to make a circle  to hold the small amount of compostable material I have from my kitchen….just in time to start it off with watermelon rind!

Unique Aspects of Days - July 2022

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Settling into our new home in Missouri is still prompting unique aspects of our days!

1st doctor’s appointment in Missouri. Getting medical records transferred from a specialist in Maryland to a new specialist in Missouri was a first for me…and I was pleasantly surprised that it happened so easily and that the new doctor continued the monitoring/treatment as I expected.

Callery Pear to the recycle center. It was a unique experience to discover a pear tree growing in a crepe myrtle in a front flower bed of my new house. I cut it down…discovered it had thorns…and was very pleased to get it cut up enough to fit in the back of my car and then to the recycle center yard waste bins without injuring myself. It was an experience I hope is unique!

Unpacking the art glass. I packed it but my husband unpacked it. There was a joy in packing and unpacking the beautiful pieces….savoring them individually and then again as a whole in the display cabinet. We left 2 pieces that are on light stands out on a desk beside the piano to act as ‘night lights’ in that part of the house. It has been over 25 years since we enjoyed the glass the way we did in July.

Making a compost ring with cedar edging. I bought two sections of edging made with 3-6 inch vertical lengths of cedar branches and formed a circle to hold my kitchen scraps and soft yard waste under one of our pine trees. There is not enough material to require a bigger compost bin so this is a relatively unique solution. I’m not sure whether I will move the ring once the compost is deteriorating enough to continue as a pile without the ring or ready to spread out. There is space to move the ring and start another collection nearby.

Finding the camera battery charger. It seemed like there were about 5 times this month where we came close to panic because we couldn’t find something we needed in our new home. The one that had me most worried was not knowing where the charger was for my camera battery; luckly I found it after an hour or so of hunting through boxes. Now that we have unpacked most of the boxes, it is less likely to occur…making this particular kind of anxiety unique to July 2022.

Forgot my toiletries. I travel frequently enough that I rarely forget anything I need…but I did for our trip back to Maryland for the closing on our house there! The compartment bag for toiletries was left hanging on the bathroom door in Missouri. I quickly bought essentials…glad this event was unique in my travels.

Hot and dry Josey Ranch lake. The lake at Josey Ranch near where my parents live was lower than I’ve seen with deep cracks where there is usually water or mud. The cattails area is dry and other plants are taking over. I hope this is unique and not what it will be like every summer from now on in Carrollton TX.

Hummingbird moth. I was surprised…glad I had my camera with me…when I spotted a hummingbird moth at the Springfield Botanical Garden. They are fun insects to watch and I always feel priviledge to see even one a year.

Hummingbird outside my office window…on the crepe myrtle. I looked out my window one morning and saw a hummingbird checking out the crepe myrtle outside my office window. It was the first I’d seen in our Missouri yard.

Missouri watermelon at the Carrollton (TX) Walmart. I noticed that the watermelon I bought for my parents in the Carrollton Walmart had been grown in Missouri…and discovered when I got home to Missouri – the watermelons in the Walmart were from Missouri too!

Intentions 2022

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At the end of last year, I posted about what I thought would be different about 2022 for me – things that I wanted to make happen. Now that the year is half over, I am assessing my progress on the four areas I wrote about last December.

Releasing myself from some of my daily metrics. This has been the hardest change…and I still find myself pushing for the 12,000 steps…4 books…2,000 words each day. But there are days where other priorities have prevailed such as tasks on the critical path for our move from Maryland to Missouri. So far, I’ve ‘made up’ for the low days on books and words…am averaging the goal for 2022. I’ve not made very much of a change!

Reverting to a cleaner/neater house. In the Maryland house, the piles of boxes that accumulated over the three months before we moved made it harder to clean although we did clean the areas we could get to and cleaned items that were being packed. The house ended up sparkling after the carpeting was replaced; 35+ year old carpeting in a house that always had at least one cat is a cleaning challenge! In our new house, we are vacuuming frequently to clear the dog hair (previous owner)…successfully based on the vacuum canister not filling up as quickly as it did originally. We are still unpacking but there are lots of spaces to put things away and we are striving to keep more surfaces clear. The laundry chute is a plus – no hamper or other laundry receptacle in the bedroom. This intention is still a work in progress but both my husband and I are making the effort; we are motivated to have the house comfortable….keep it cleaner and neater than our Maryland house.

Look for the unique. It’s a habit now…I record something unique at the end of each day and have been surprised how easy it is to identify an event or sight or food…that was a 1st or one/only. The habit has caused a slight change in my attitude. I am more likely to look from a unique perspective or try something new than I was a year ago!

Moving to live closer to my daughter. Done! We are still working through the aftermath…address changes, new licenses/registrations, completely unpacking. Of all the changes I anticipated at the beginning of the year…this is the big one. It probably happened faster than I thought it would. We’ve owned our house in Missouri for about 1.5 months now – enough time to realize we make a great choice. I’m already set to make a fall road trip with my daughter, accompanying her on a road trip to Canada for her to attend a conference – something I would have not been able to do if we still lived in Maryland.

I am doing so well on my intentions made at the beginning of the year that I am adding to the list for the remaining months:

Spend some time each month with my parents (Carrollton).

Design/implement landscaping tweaks to our yard in the fall.

Start volunteering (again).

Medical Transition

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The process to transition medical care after a long-distance move is a little complicated. I’ve made the address switch (and sometimes policy) for my insurance, identified new doctors, requested medical history be sent, and had a first appointment with one of the doctors…now hoping I haven’t forgotten anything.

First appointments are always a little challenging with paperwork and meeting a new doctor. I am trying to establish doctors that are all in the same system so that I’ll only have one portal (unlike the situation in Maryland where every doctor seemed to have their own!).

I realized that even finding my way to the building and the office was part of the ‘first appointment’ challenge. I tried to notice things about the building that were a little different: the young trees in the parking lot islands (not sure why they were wrapped as they were) and the glass atrium light fixture/loft railings. Maybe I’ll remember the place when I am due to return in 3 months!

Back to Missouri

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The drive back to Missouri was different this time. Both my husband and I realized we would not be back to Maryland any time soon. We were leaving an area of the country where we had lived since July 1983…39 years. We were both aware that this was a pivot point in our lives just as the prior move had been. In 1983, we were moving to enable the type of careers we wanted….now we are moving to be near our daughter and within a short day’s drive to much of our extended family. We talked a little about what we were leaving behind…and the significant effort still required to be settled into our new home. Now that we own one house again…home is Missouri even if we aren’t quite comfortable – yet.

The weather was wet for most of the drive, so I didn’t take as many pictures at the rest stops. On the plus side, it was not as hot, and the rain only caused minor delays. The navigation system took us around the beltway of St Louis rather than through the city because of a road closure; we saw the arch from a distance. I took more pictures through the car window…two of Louisville (KFC Center and a bridge being renovated (somehow it reminded me of a stylized open mouth of a dragon!).

We were glad to be home again…relieved that the last long road trip associated with moving was over and that the remaining tasks relative to moving are ones we could do at our own pace and all in Missouri!

Settling in, developing new routines – 1st month

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A new house – neighborhood – city – state (Missouri)…a lot has changed for us this past month. We are still unpacking but have done enough to live comfortably…do the rest of the opening of boxes and distribution of ‘stuff’ at a slower pace. I am starting a monthly post to document the new routines we are establishing.

Trash/recycling. I like that we have a bin for the weekly trash collection rather than just putting big plastic bags at the curb like we did in Maryland. The downside is that recycling comes every other week rather than weekly like it did in Maryland…and the first cycle was cancelled because they were short a crew! Another difference: neither trash or recycle curbside collection take yard waste. So – I’ve been to the recycle center 3 times already (twice for boxes there were not reusable and once for yard waste after I cut down a Callery pear that was taking over a crepe myrtle in my front flowerbed); fortunately, the recycle center is not that far away from our neighborhood.

The mini-kitchen in the basement near my office is perfect for making my favorite snack: popcorn! What a luxury to have it close rather than a flight of stairs away.

It is also a luxury to do my back exercises on the twin bed near my office rather than getting down (and then up) from the floor.

Groceries are different too; the closest store is a Walmart which does not have as much selection as Wegmans in Maryland. I may look further afield for groceries eventually even though the close location of the Walmart is a big plus. I get to the store about 6:30 AM just as I did in Maryland; shopping in a store with more stockers than customers is something I’ve grown accustomed too…prefer!

Laundry has been an adventure. There is still a flight of stairs between the laundry room and the bedroom, but our Missouri house has a laundry chute! We’ve added handles to the doors of the chute (not sure why they didn’t have handles before) and bought large baskets to catch all the laundry at the bottom. And what a luxury it is to have so much room to hang up clothes that we don’t want to put in the drier!

Barn swallows. When we moved into the house, we noticed almost immediately that we had bard swallows nesting under the deck….easily viewed from our patio or through the windows around it. The babies hav since fledged and I’ve tried to clean up the bird poop that fell from the nest onto the patio…the price for having an easily observable nest. We didn’t have barn swallows at our Maryland house, so this is a new bird for our yard. We put out two bird baths but they haven’t been used very much….the neighborhood ponds are too close probably. We haven’t put up bird feeders yet.

More new routines next month….

Zentangle® – June 2022

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30 Zentangle tiles for June; it was challenging find the time to make tiles in June with the crescendo of activity for our move to Missouri…but very worthwhile to help me decompress.

I found myself enjoying new Sharpie Ultra Fine pens and savoring some newly discovered gel pins; both provided the smooth glide of color onto the variety of tile materials during the month. The paper coasters (round and square) were in the box I carried with me on all my travels. I rediscovered an unopened box of the round ones as I was packing…will return to them in the months ahead.

My favorite tiles are probably the light brown ones made from recycled lightweight cardboard or old file folders. Both square

And rectangular.

There are still a few tiles made from old pocket folders saved my daughter’s K-12 days; I found more of those folders as I packed to move…will cut them into tiles as some point.

I had a few tiles that were a narrower rectangle…the back of pads of paper I used up….and then had the cardboard left to repurpose!

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The Zentangle® Method is an easy-to-learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. It was created by Rick Roberts and Maria Thomas. “Zentangle” is a registered trademark of Zentangle, Inc. Learn more at zentangle.com.

Nixa, MO is Home

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How soon does a new house become a home? There are indications that it has happened very quickly with our move to Nixa, MO.

I’ve found places we need:

A place to buy groceries and other household needs (a Walmart within a couple of miles of our house)

The post office (within 3 miles)

A recycling center for all the cardboard and paper left from unpacking that is unusable by others (less than 2 miles)

Gas stations (in about a mile)

The yard

While we haven’t gotten everything unpacked, we have all the items we need day to day. The gardening tools need to be unpacked since there are some weeds and tree seedlings in the flower beds that should be pulled sooner rather than later. I’ve spotted a poison ivy plant growing under one of the cedars; I’ll need my gauntlet gloves to handle that one!

We had to wait for the ladder to arrive with the truck to hang our large wind chimes (sounds like church bells). It was not something on the critical path of being able to live in the house but I wanted them up and making their beautiful sounds….another indicator that the house has become home.

I have discovered the joy of time outdoors on the patio in the early morning…creating a Zentangle tile or two…listening to the birds and the neighborhood waking up. Another discovery – fold the chair cushions down when not in use so that the part you sit on will stay free of bird poop!

The rose bushes in the back of our house are still blooming and maybe they will continue a bit longer since I’ve started watering them. I cut a flower to bring into my office recently…a sign that I am feeling at home.

The neighborhood

I’ve intentionally gotten out and about the neighborhood even while I was unpacking…enjoyed the pool more than I thought I would (particularly after 5 PM when it isn’t crowded) and the walk around the ponds. Looking forward to walking the entire neighborhood over the next month or so.

The inside of the house

We’re still arranging lamps, but the rest of the furniture is in place. There are rooms that are already exactly the way we want them.

Our internet service is not consistent throughout the house and there are some minor repairs that need to be made. It’s frustrating when problems can’t be immediately fixed. We’re persistent and confident the issues all be resolved.

We are experimenting with laundry….the laundry chute is still novel and fun. One of our old oscillating fans has found a home in the laundry room while the clothes we hang up from the washer dry. But do we hang/fold clothes from the dryer in the laundry or upstairs? Not sure which way is going to work best for us. We did end up replacing the washer/dryer left by the previous owner.

We’re eating most of our meals at home again.

The security system has been reset to our codes rather than the previous owner’s (which were unknown to us).

Within a month of closing…the house will be fully our home. It started to feel like home as soon as the moving van arrived with our ‘stuff’ 6 days after we closed on the house…then a continuing trend toward the feeling of home until we get everything situated as we want it and are comfortable with the way we are living in the house.

Ten Little Celebrations – June 2022

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What a month! It is probably the busiest, most stressful in my post career decade….with so much that has gone right in the end…lots of little celebrations.

Hearing a phoebe in the morning….seeing a crane fly – The sights and sounds of nature often become little celebrations for me…they just happen and make the day brighter.

New low weight for the year – With all the work getting ready to move and then moving, I expended a lot more energy and lost a few pounds. I celebrated a new low weight for the year in June.

A new house – Settling into a new house/location is stressful…but there is also a lot of to celebrate. Noticing all the aspects of the house that I like…celebrating that it is becoming home.

A picture taking walk around the ponds in the early morning – The water features of my new neighborhood are more extensive than where I lived previously. There were plenty of sights to celebrate in my first walks around the ponds and I anticipate enjoying them all through the year.

Internet/cable at Missouri house (just in time to make hotel reservations for the follow night going back to Maryland) – Our internet/cable access was installed the morning after we closed on our new house; I celebrated that my husband had been proactive for making that arrangement.

Made it back to Missouri even with the blowout before lunch – The drama of a blown-out tire on the trek from Maryland to Missouri was not traumatic as it could have been….and I celebrated when we made it to the new house.

The movers arrived….delivering our stuff – The house was so empty…then was full of boxes. I celebrated that it all arrived intact even though the piles were daunting.

Finding the missing piece to husband’s desk – I had packed some pieces of my husband’s desk and we didn’t find the box for about 24 hours. Celebration by all when the piece was found!

Unpacking progress (slow but steady) – We are still unpacking but every day I celebrate the progress we are making. At this point, all the critical items are unpacked and put into their long-term location.

A contract on our Maryland house – My husband and I were pleasantly surprised that we sold our house in Maryland in just 4 days and for more than the asking price. At first, we were overwhelmed…and then we celebrated.

Unique Aspects of Days – June 2022

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June was probably the most unique month of 2022; moving from Maryland to Missouri made for a lot of firsts…made more unique by the time that had passed since our last move (more than 25 years ago). It was hard to choose just 10.

Move out day in Maryland. Packing up was hard enough…seeing it all be loaded on the truck in one day (rainy toward the end) was overwhelmingly intense – certainly not a ‘normal’ situation. And I knew I would be getting up early in the next morning to head to Missouri.

A lot of armadillo road kill. In Maryland the most common road killed animals were deer. In Missouri, there were armadillos; perhaps it was the time of year they go walkabout.

Closing on a Missouri house. I hadn’t closed on a house in over 25 years and this is the only time in my life (so far) that there was no mortgage.

First sunrise at Bentwater house. Firsts are unique simply because they are the first!

Blowout of my driver’s side front tire. It was not a totally unique experience but the last one was years ago (2017) and only the third one in my 50 years of driving!

The neighborhood pool for the first time. I wasn’t sure I would use the pool but I discovered that there are times it is not very busy…a very pleasant respite from the heat.

Mend Piece. I’ll do a post about the experience in a few days….it was a unique hands-on experience at the Springfield Art Museum.

Making popcorn in the downstairs kitchen – first time. It felt a little odd to make popcorn in a place other than the main kitchen…but the mini-kitchen near my office in the basement has a microwave. I used my Nordic Ware bowl…melted butter in an old stoneware cup. It’s great to have a hefty snack without having to go up or down stairs!

Our Maryland house went on the market…under contract 4 days later. We hadn’t sold a house in a long time…and the previous experiences had not been quick. This one was lightning fast – just as the realtor had predicted. We were pleased and overwhelmed all at the same time.

New washer and dryer. I don’t remember the last time we had a new washer/dryer….so I am counting it as unique….and still enjoying the big improvement over the older models: quieter, more effiecent use of water/energy, quicker. Also – the laundry chute in our new house is a very nice feature.

Unpacking

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The morning after the movers got everything into the house, I was up with the dawn (before 6 AM) and ready to start with the unpacking. My sister helped and we made good progress for the next 4 days of her visit (with a few breaks for exploring the area around Springfield).

I kept my laptop set up on the kitchen counter to mark off the boxes on my inventory as we unpacked them.

The living room was one of the prime areas that boxes were piled. I had thought ahead to have the book boxes in the area near the window and the other (lighter boxes) destined primarily for the kitchen/China cabinet) in the center of the room. The kitchen counters became cluttered with items to put away – slowing down to allow time to refresh shelf paper…and occasionally rearranging once we better understood the way we would use the kitchen.

The basement also had a big pile of boxes…mostly in the John Deere room. My husband helped me put my office furniture together and I started carrying a few items down to the kitchenette that I would use there.

We had piles of bubble wrap which we stuffed in plastic bags to return to a store for recycling, Styrofoam went in the trash. There were piles of boxes and packing paper. I posted to the community Facebook page and the boxes that were still in good shape were given to people in the neighborhood that were preparing to moving. My sister and I took the damaged boxes/paper to the recycle center since the first curbside recycling day in our new house was cancelled (they didn’t have a crew!)…and the size/amount of cardboard would have overwhelmed our bin anyway.

Every day the house became more ‘normal’ but it will probably be weeks before I unpack everything…and there are items (pictures/breakables) to get from my daughter’s basement (and a lot of beanie baby bins that she is going to take back).

As I write this – I am one week into the unpacking process and the house is livable…but still looking messy with boxes in odd places!

Moving In

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Our driver confirmed via text that he would arrive as scheduled the next day shortly after we returned to our Missouri house. The truck and a car with three helpers arrived just after 8 AM – making an early start since the day was forecast to be very hot.

The steps to the front of the Missouri house are shallower than the ones in Maryland; the ramp they used looked better but was squishy when weight was on it.

I had my blue paper signs held up with painters’ tape to name rooms and designate where major furniture would go. More red and blue runners were needed to protect the floors because none of the flooring was going to be replaced in the Missouri house (like the carpeting was in Maryland).

The piano crate was moved into the dining room…and would stay there for 4 days until the specialist crew came to uncrate it and put the parts back together.

It was an exhausting day for me – on my feet directing movers to the main floor or the basement (separate entrances) for the loads of furniture and boxes. It took the 4 men 6 hours to unload…shorter duration than the loading of the truck but the temperature/humidity made it very hard work.

Not much got unpacked on the same day as the unloading occurred; my husband and I were too tired. Fortunately - we had enough linens to make beds for ourselves and my sister that arrived shortly after the movers left!

Overall – I was pleased with the way the movers handled the move itself…but the task of unpacking everything I had packed, now in piles in key places of the new house, seemed daunting in the quiet of that first evening after the unloading.