13th Anniversary of my Blog

This is the 13th anniversary of this blog space. It all started when I made the firm decision to retire and started a daily blog…a few months before my career formally ended. It was a way for me to guarantee a little bit of structure in what loomed as a time of my life without many external requirements on my time.

Work had dominated so much of my time – way more than my college education during the first decade of my career…more than my daughter’s 1st 20 years in decades 1.5-3.5 of my career. My husband has been a constant through it all  - both of us putting considerable time into our careers. Mine ended without a glide path (intentional on my part)….his was a glide that finally ended a few years after my retirement. We both were aware of developing new ways to fill our days with a mix of activities that we chose – sometimes very different from things we did while our careers were active.

Writing a daily blog has had a positive impact on furthering my artistic side…and sometimes spurring me to action.

Previous anniversary posts: 12th anniversary, 11th anniversary, 10th anniversary, 9th anniversary

A College Class…after 40 Years

Going to a college campus for a class was almost a ‘new’ experience since I hadn’t done it for over 40 years.

The campus was newer and bigger than the university I attended in the 1970s. There was more construction and different types of parking that I’d experienced before. I set my nav system for a parking lot close to the building where my class was located; it took me to the parking lot but not on the side that had an entrance! I used the nav system to help me find the building to…and still walked past it because I wasn’t looking for the name of the building in the right place. As I walked in the building, the doors leading to the first floor were taped saying there was construction on that floor…realizing that my class was supposed to be on the third floor; I took the door to the stairs that were off the lobby between the outside doors and the doors to first floor. I stopped at a lady’s room then found the classroom…both similar to 40 years ago.

The class I am taking is a field class about woody plants so there is a short lecture segment at the beginning and then the rest of the session is outside either around the campus or on field trips at various locations around Springfield MO. The professor had posted the charts for the first class and the syllabus for the course on Brightspace earlier in the week; I had looked at the charts and printed the schedule page of the syllabus…brought a notebook for recording notes in the field.

It turned out that the professor had printed copies of the syllabus and worksheets for when we were out in the field (around campus). The amount of paper was reminiscent of my long-ago college days. My earlier idea of using my phone to take pictures and notes in the field was not looking as realistic.

I did try to take some pictures of the woody plants that were part of the first class but the only ‘good enough’ picture were from black gum (Nyssa sylvatica) (1 picture) and buckeye (Aesculus) (2 pictures).

Juggling the cell phone on a lanyard and taking physical notes is cumbersome. I’m going to try a slightly different approach for the next class which will be a field trip to Springfield Botanical Gardens….maybe taking my bridge camera (better optics so I don’t need to get as close to what I am photographing) and wearing my photovest (with lots of pockets in the front) so the notebook can be taken in and out more easily.

I am not taking the class for credit, but I am still trying to learn the common and scientific names for the woody plants viewed in the course. It might take some study techniques I’ve not used for a very long time. I want to find techniques that do not involve making paper flashcards!

Baking Soda

My mother used to keep a small bowl with baking soda in it during the summer…adding some water to it when she came in from working in the yard to make a watery slurry that she’d rub over her arms and legs. She said it stopped a lot of the itching. I remembered her doing that and decided to try it. It helps – sometimes completely alleviating the itching!

Most of the time I apply it when if first get in the shower – no worries about leaving soda splashes on the floor that way. I use a back brush to scrub the baking soda slurry onto my back too. Then shower as usual.

In-between uses, the water evaporates, and the remaining baking soda makes a cake that looks like a miniature ice flow….or abstract art. At some point I add more soda, so the container is ready for the next time I am cleaning up after yard work.

Zentangle® – July 2024

I created 79 Zentangle tiles in July and chose 31 (one for each day of July to feature in this post). They are all square tiles this month and a mixture of recycled light weight cardboard and file folders. There were a few cut from card stock. I have a lot of materials for blank tiles in my house…and I am enjoying the variety of pens I have right now too.

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The Zentangle® Method is an easy-to-learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. It was created by Rick Roberts and Maria Thomas. “Zentangle” is a registered trademark of Zentangle, Inc. Learn more at zentangle.com.

Zentangle® – June 2024

I created 74 tiles in June…and chose 30 to feature in this post. I did less traveling in June; all of these were made in Dallas or my home near Springfield MO. At my home they were made at my computer table rather than in a glide with a clipboard to support the tile as I had been doing in previous months; for some reason, being at the computer table was easier on my back!

Backgrounds were still the theme when I started many tiles. There were a few that carried over the three-hash-line fill from May.

But the majority used what I think of as ‘screen’ fill. Many of the tiles were created on cardboard cut from separators in cat food boxes.

There were also a few that used circle shapes to fill the background. That might be the one I will continue into June.

And the remaining tiles – where the background was not a factor. My favorite was the blue and green inked square…full of the paradox pattern.

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The Zentangle® Method is an easy-to-learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. It was created by Rick Roberts and Maria Thomas. “Zentangle” is a registered trademark of Zentangle, Inc. Learn more at zentangle.com.

Zentangle® – May 2024

I created 68 Zentangle tiles in May…plenty to choose the 31 to feature in this post. These tiles were made at home in Nixa…in Dallas…in Hot Springs…in Eureka Springs. Enjoy the results of my ‘islands of calm’!

There were several themes for my tile making in May. Trilliums (flowers with 3 petals) were in 4 tiles.

There were 4 ‘spider’ flower tiles as well.

I seemed to enjoy three-hash-line fill for a lot of tiles. The 11 below are my favorites.

And then there were the 12 more to make the 31 picks for May.

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The Zentangle® Method is an easy-to-learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. It was created by Rick Roberts and Maria Thomas. “Zentangle” is a registered trademark of Zentangle, Inc. Learn more at zentangle.com.

Sustaining Elder Care – May 2024

Since my last ‘sustaining elder care’ post, I have been to Dallas twice and am acknowledging that maybe my plan to drive down once a month is not going to work. Two times a month is becoming my more realistic plan.

Now that the days are longer, I can visit in the afternoon on the day I drive down and again in the morning before I drive back to Missouri. My dad is the only morning person in his assisted living group home so visiting him in the morning is prime one-on-one time. He frequently has a ‘first breakfast’ before anyone else is awake (about the time I arrive) and then eats again with everyone else. Between the two light meals we can take a walk around the block or maybe further if his stamina increases; in the summer, the morning walk might be his only walk of the day.

One of the challenges right now is that my dad tends to lose track of his reading glasses (he needs them to work on puzzles). My sister has brought a supply but hopefully some of them will show up again. While we were working on the puzzle during my morning visit, he did it without glasses! He seemed to enjoy the challenge of working from the shape of the piece entirely – and he was successful plenty of times.

I bought 10 more puzzles at the $3/bag day at my Missouri library’s used books (and puzzles) sale. What a bargain! One of them was a duplicate but it still was a good deal! We started the beach and lighthouse puzzle in the upper left corner of the picture below during my first visit in May.

There has been some upheaval at the assisted living home – the lead staff member being reassigned to another home and some leadership being rotated in from other homes – the company searching for a permanent replacement. There is also a new resident in a room near my dad’s. So far, he seems to be unperturbed by the changes, but my sisters and I are thinking more about what our plan would be if something went very wrong at the home where he is.

Previous Elder Care posts

Then and Now – Family

In the 1960s, I was growing up in a large extended family. My mother had 8 siblings and my father, an only child, was close to his cousins. Most of our traveling was to visit family. By the time I was in elementary school, my parents had a second car, and my mother took us to her parents’ home for a week or so during the summer to see the aunt and uncles…continuously growing number of cousins. I remember my grandfather’s construction projects that included a covered patio/carport with a very long table and bench overlooking a large elm where he’d fashioned a table and benches to fit neatly around its large trunk. We ate every meal aside from breakfast outdoors! There was also a large barbeque pit with a huge grill and an oven built into the chimney. He built a fountain of natural stone near the garden…the swimming pool was a little further away. Prior to the swimming pool being built, he often found a river suitable for swimming for all the aunts and cousins….and he would do some fishing. I enjoyed one-on-one time with my maternal grandmother at her work (she owned/ran the mill); I remember her writing letters to one of her daughters that lived far away over a few days before deciding it was long enough and sending it off.

 My paternal grandparents moved to live near us in the late 50s, so I saw them very frequently – lots of good food, gardening, crocheting, sewing, dominoes and checkers. We saw my dad’s extended family at gatherings held at his paternal aunt’s house. I remember my great aunt had hollyhocks beside her porch. We visited his maternal aunts (and grandmother) that lived in the same town. I associate my great-grandmother with chocolate covered graham crackers and her daughters with plants (my grandmother had a number of plants that she received originally from her sisters).

The food was always plentiful and included veggies from the garden. The paternal side of the family also cooked Czech desserts (kolaches!).

Now the family is significantly smaller. I have 3 sisters and am the only one that lives further away; only 1 of my sisters has children so the number of cousins is small. My husband had 2 sisters, but they are already gone as is his extended family. My sisters and I are transitioning from a relationship that has be very focused on caring for our parents over the past few years – not yet settled into a new normal without our mother. I am not close to my cousins although I have been seeing 3 of them more frequently at funerals recently…realizing that we have in common our adjustment to life after long-lived parents die.

I drive from my home in Missouri to visit my dad near Dallas once or twice a month in his assisted living home. My daughter goes with me sometimes. One sister visits him almost daily. The other two visit once or twice a week when they are town. I try to see at least one of them when I visit Dad. Two of them have visited us in Missouri. We text each other frequently – mostly keeping each other informed about what is happening with Dad. There are infrequent emails, phone calls, or zoom meeting. I enjoy my access to a frequently updated cloud folder of great nephew pictures. The way we keep in touch when we are not together has changed significantly since the 1960s!

Food had changed as well. We seem to all have foods we are avoiding now (and the problematic foods are not the same!)…and desserts are not something we want as frequently. We tend to go to a restaurant for special occasions more often then eating at home.

Previous Then and Now posts

Zentangle® – April 2024

The end of the month and preparing to write this post reminded me that I needed to find the driver for my Epson V600 photo scanner to install on my MacBook Air. I found it easily enough and the install was uneventful…and I was pleased that it worked more reliably that the Windows driver on my old laptop!

As usual I had plenty of tiles to choose the 30 from for this month. It is easy to have a few blank tiles and a pen available all the time. I create most of the tiles in my office at home although this month one was made when I was traveling and eating alone…while I waited for my food. More were made in hotels in Dallas. Creating a Zentangle tile always provides an island of calm!

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The Zentangle® Method is an easy-to-learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. It was created by Rick Roberts and Maria Thomas. “Zentangle” is a registered trademark of Zentangle, Inc. Learn more at zentangle.com.

Then and Now – Universities

My parents prompted my goal to go to college; it was still in my future during the 1960s. At first there was only a vague idea of what universities were like. That begin to change when my mother went back to school so she could become a teacher when I was in junior high. I learned about required courses and textbooks and the library. My sisters and I were in the audience when she acted in a play as part of a drama class. I remember paging through a very thick book for a biology/life sciences class – relishing how much more it included beyond the encyclopedias and schoolbooks I had looked at before. When I started an insect collection for special credit before my sophomore year of high school, my mother took me to the campus bookstore and we bought special black straight pins for the project (there must have been a class at the university that required insect collection too). My collection impression my teacher so much that she asked to keep it!

I was also aware of the protests of the Vietnam War at universities in the 1960s via the news and now with protests of the war in Gaza also via the news. I never was on a campus when one of the more significant protests happened at either time of my life.

Now my perception of universities is based more on first-hand experience from the 1970s and early 1980s when my husband got his PhD and I got my masters, vicarious experience (again) from 2007 to 2019 when my daughter was at 3 universities for undergraduate through to PhD and post doc, my daughter being employed as a professor at a university now, and the prospect of a course each semester at the university beginning next fall taking advantage of the free tuition for citizens age 62 or older.

In the 1960s, the prospect of heading off to the university was all about continuation of my education…preparing for a career…getting the required credits toward a degree. Now, I’ll be taking courses because I am interested in the topic and not ‘for credit.’ Courses that offer field experience or labs will be my primary focus…things that I can’t get in an online format or from a book. The first course will likely be a field course identifying woody plants; the second might be geology course which includes field trips and a lab; the next one might be pottery making!

In the 1960s, I was oblivious to the administration of universities. In retrospect, there were a lot less non-faculty staff at universities in the 1960s. And those non-faculty people often get higher salaries than the faculty; they are largely responsible for the cost of university education increasing faster than costs in just about every other sector. And those non-faculty people make decisions about how funding cuts will be made so their ranks will never go down! How does bloat in a university’s administrative staff ever get trimmed?

It seems that universities are changing very slowly compared to the rest of society. There is a paradox of research that is often leading edge coming out of an organization that incorporates processes that are almost like hazing (qualifying exams for graduate students that are traditionally ‘failed’ the first time through…committees of other faculty members that review tenure track packages and provide negative feedback, sometimes not factual and sometimes personal rather than relevant to the position…minorities and women judged harshly).

The role of universities is not as clear now as it seemed to me in the 1960s. I’m not sure if that is true because I know more about them now or if they have not changed in the intervening years in ways that they should have.

Previous Then and Now posts

Sustaining Elder Care – April 2024

2-day trips to Dallas have become the norm for me. I leave early from home, visit my dad immediately after I get to Dallas in the early afternoon and take care of any other business thereafter…then stay in a hotel overnight and drive home the next day. Now that the days are getting longer, perhaps I might visit him a second time in the morning before I head home although the assisted living group home is not ‘early.’ I probably would not want to arrive for a visit before 10 AM.

Dad still enjoys going out to eat and we are exploring more places nearby.

The warmer weather is great for walks. We have discovered that he does better with a four-wheeled walker than the two-wheeled one. The rough pavement makes it very hard to use the two-wheeled one. His balance is much improved holding onto the four-wheeled walker and he walks at a pace that is more like the way he walked prior to using a walker.

He has decided that 500 pieces puzzles are usually too hard…and he wants bigger pieces. I got 10 puzzles for $20 at the library’s used books (and puzzles) sale; knowing what they have is one of the benefits of volunteering for setup. Most of the puzzles I got have 300 pieces and I am hopefull my dad and others at the group home will enjoy putting them together. I picked ones with bright colors too – although that wasn’t a requirement from my dad.

One of my sisters and her husband took my dad to her home to see the eclipse on the 8th. Unfortunately, he didn’t understand what was happening and kept asking where he was. It was a learning experience for our family – we will continue to enjoy taking him out to lunch occasionally but be very careful not to overwhelm him with more complex events away from his assisted living home.

I had thought I would be able to get down to one visit per month…but so far that hasn’t happened.

Previous Elder Care posts

Then and Now

The is the first post in my Then and Now series that will include my reflections on my ‘growing up decade’ (the 1960s) and now. A lot has changed over those 60 years, and I’ve found myself thinking more about it recently – maybe prompted by my mother’s death or me being 70 years old. Choosing these decades leaves out my career almost entirely – only the perspectives of preparation for it in the 1960s and reaping the benefits from it now in my post-career years.

I was 6 to 16 years old in the 1960s …remembering vivid snippets primarily about friends, family, and school…and a few events in the news (the assassination of John F. Kennedy in 1963 and a tornado that I saw through my school window before the sirens went off on April 3, 1964). In the 1960s I assumed I had a long life ahead of me; now I assume that it will take more and more focused effort on my part to remain healthy and enjoy the years left in my life. The way I live now definitely has roots that began developing in the 1960s!

The posts will focus on a particular aspect that has changed and will come out weekly on Monday mornings. Stay tuned….

Zentangle® – February 2024

February was a stressful month. The pile of tiles I selected these 29 from was finished before the death of my mother. At the end of March….I’ll look at what might be different about the before and after tiles. As I write this post, I am still in the stage of being preoccupied and cycling through various stages of grief; when I think I have reached  level of acceptance, I find myself thinking ‘oh mom would enjoy hearing/seeing this’ before I consciously remind myself that she is gone; I am realizing that my subconscious is churning away and interfering with my ability to focus too.

The square tiles this month are made on the usual neon colored card stock. Most of the time I can make patterns on both sides of the tile…unless I use the thicker pens and the color bleeds through.

The rectangular tiles are a mix of recycled light weight cardboard from cat food boxes (light brown), the wider tiles that are textured stationery from my dad’s business over 30 years ago that I found in his office when we cleaned it out, and the pale yellow/green 3x5 cards are also from his office (he carried them in his shirt pocket for notes….and then stopped about 5 years ago).

The past few months have re-enforced my self-knowledge that making a Zentangle tile (or two or three…) every day helps me through stressful times.

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The Zentangle® Method is an easy-to-learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. It was created by Rick Roberts and Maria Thomas. “Zentangle” is a registered trademark of Zentangle, Inc. Learn more at zentangle.com.

Ten Little Celebrations – February 2024

I am always a little surprised at how easy it is to record something I celebrated every day…and how it is sometimes hard to pick the top 10 near the end of the month. The habit probably has helped me be more resilient to whatever is not going well….and appreciative of how fortunate I am.

A warm day to get the naked lady bulbs and iris rhizomes planted – Actually there were two Feburary days that were warm enough; I used one for planting in my yard and another for planting in my daughters.

Getting a full price offer on my Parents house – This was another double celebration since the offer and the closing happened in February.

Earl Grey tea – I seem to forget how much I like it…then celebrate rediscovering it.

Home again – After the many weeks away late in 2023, I find myself celebrating each and every time I arrive back home.

Out to lunch with my parents – I celebrated that they both were enthusiastic about going and that they ate well at the restaurant for lunch….and wanted their leftovers for dinner!

Snow suitable for patterns – Making patterns in the snow has been a treat this winter….celebrating my second attempt that benefited from my prior experience and the snow being wet (made the pattern I walked stand out more).

Pintails. I celebrated the picture of a pintail at Hagerman….one of my best so far this year.

Married life – Being married for over 51 years is something I often take for granted but, for some reason, I found myself celebrating more this month – that wasn’t even my annual anniversary. Having the long term relationship…a person that I know well, and that knows me well…is fundamental to the way I feel about just about everything else.

Port Aransas Whooping Crane Festival – Celebrating our first multi-day festival since COVID…more on our experiences in upcoming blog posts.

Parents’ house ready for new owner – Lots of coordination with my sisters…and physical work…celebrating that we got everything cleaned out before closing.

Death of my Mother

My mother died a little over a week ago. She was in her 90s and frail…had survived some significant health challenges over the last decade; I thought I had internalized that her death could happen at any time, but it surprised me. It happened very quickly.

My thoughts are still jumping all over the place…

I am savoring the last times I saw her a little over a week before her death – taking her and my dad out to lunch at a new restaurant, talking to them while they ate breakfast the next morning. She had gotten her hair cut and styled by the woman that had done it for the over 40 years recently and was looking great. They both seemed happy. Good times!

One of my sisters cut some of the Japanese quince and added it to a bouquet of other flowers a few days before her death; I am so pleased that my sister did that since Mother had always cut some from the bush in recent years…the first flowers of spring.

She was a very organized person and passed that along to all her daughters along with practical knowledge of households. She went back to college when I was a teenager….started her career as a teacher before I graduated from high school. I’ve always thought of her as a near perfect mother figure. When I had my own daughter….I knew what kind of mother I wanted to be.

My mother was in my life for over 70 years….it might be one metric I won’t be able to duplicate with my own daughter (I will be 105 when she is 70).

My mother recognized how introverted I was very early on. When I wanted to stay in the car while she went into the post office or store, she encouraged me to go in with her. She sent me to ‘charm’ school. She volunteered for my Camp Fire Girls group. She encouraged me to apply to Up with People (and travel during my junior year of high school). She introduced me to her female college professors to expand the role models I had. I will never be an extrovert…but I do have a lot of people skills that were developed even before I entered the workforce and began to get ‘management training.’

There are little lessons that I’ve learned from my mother more recently about aging gracefully:

  • Cut flowers from the yard are wonderful (require developing a yard for flowers). Buying cut flowers is OK (but second best).

  • Family pictures that are easy to see frequently should share space with art.

  • Regular exercise is important….using as many different muscles as possible.

  • Following instructions for physical therapy and medication is important but can be a challenge.

  • Splurges are OK…in moderation.

  • One of the things she said as part of her greeting when I arrived for a visit was ‘I am so glad you are here’…and she repeated that each night as she headed back to her bedroom. Maybe that is one of the biggest lessons of all….to appreciate the people around you and let them know that you do.

Transition Trips to Carrollton TX

I’ve now made two trips to Texas since the beginning of the year and am planning a third. They are very different than before my parents moved to an assisted living group home.

  • I am not staying at their home. On the first trip, I stayed at a hotel relatively close to their group home. The second trip I stayed with my niece. The hotel turned out to be high stress because the deadbolt on my room was jammed (i.e. the chain was the only extra locking on the door). Staying with my niece was low stress for me but probably high stress for her.

  • Visits with my parents were short…not 24/7 like previously. I anticipated that change…but it still feels odd…like I am missing a lot. At the same time, I am much less anxious about how they are doing when me or my sisters are not there.

  • My sisters and I worked to get the house cleaned out and listed for sale. This is the first time I’ve been guiding the sale of a house that is not my own…and I am glad that the technology is there to allow for me to do part of it remotely. We got 2 full price offers on the 1st day it was on the market and have accepted one of them. We still have the garage and storage sheds to clear. We have the milestone of the closing by the end of the month. There is still the physical and emotional work of cleaning out items collected over my parents’ lives that they no longer need. The unseasonably warm weather has helped.

  • I stopped at Hagerman once…went to Josey Ranch twice…but didn’t spend as much time there. I stopped at a greenway park I hadn’t noticed before on the second trip. The places I get out into nature in Texas are going to be changing to parks closer to where my parents are living now…in Dallas rather than Carrollton.

  • We had joked about observing the 4/8 eclipse from my parents’ driveway…but the house will that theirs by that time. I am realizing how many family events centered on the location over the past 30+ years. It will feel strange to not go there anymore.

The transition is happening so quickly with their move to assisted living in early January and the sale of their home finalized at the end of February. It is hard emotionally and physically, but it is also not a prolonged agony. My sisters and I are looking forward to a new normal in March!

Glad to be Home

As I write this, I have been home again for a week after being away almost 7 weeks. It had taken this long to get settle back into an at-home routine….to relax enough to feel truly rested! At first, I felt so exhausted that I took naps – which didn’t seem to help. It took me 5 days to fully empty my car. I needed the alone time after being so engaged with people all the time; I didn’t want to talk on the phone at all…had to force myself to check my text message. My emotions were still volatile, and I consciously started trying to unwind. Cutting back on caffeine, getting more exercise and quick neighborhood hikes (even though it was cold outside) finally worked.

It’s such a joy to just be home. I’ve enjoyed returning to spending more time just being in my house…cooking, reading, writing, making Zentangle tiles, and planning one or two vacation travels for the next 6 months. I pampered myself included burning a scented candle I’ve had for years, a facial (using supplies from a Christmas gift), hot apple cider rooibos tea, big red peppermint stick, and pumpkin oatmeal cookie bars.

As the days passed, I fell myself recovering…although there are some aspects of the past 7 weeks that might be a permanent change. I’ve learned more about how I deal with stress --- holding off its effects until the crisis is ‘over’ --- and then requiring time to recover. It is a strategy and provided enough resilience, but I might need to bolster by stress reduction techniques in preparation for the next crisis; more self-care during a crisis might make recovery easier (or unneeded).

I’ll be taking off for another trip to Carrollton TX soon, but the trip will be only 6 days this time! Much easier!

Anticipated Changes in 2024

I don’t make resolutions anymore – but I do think about what I anticipate being different in the coming year.

Some changes are anticipated by situations I already recognize:

My parents are now in an assisted living group home rather than their own home. I will still travel to the Dallas are visit them at least monthly as I have for the past few years, but the trips will take 2 days rather than 8.

There will be a flurry of activity to see the total eclipse on April 8th. It could be a day trip if the weather is good or a three-day trip to someplace where the skies are clear.

My husband and I are ready to start attending birding festivals again…secure enough in the mostly outdoor venues and able to mask for the short times in crowded/enclosed spaces. We’ve registered for one in February already (the one we registered for last December was overcome by my need to stay in Carrollton).

A flurry of appointments with various doctors since I put off appointments for the last months of 2023.

Memberships to the zoo and a big cat sanctuary we got as gifts….motivating us to visit those places more frequently.

Other changes are about intention…and have the closest relationship to annual ‘resolutions:’

I intend to get intensity minutes (as measured by my Garmin watch) from ‘power walking’ in my neighborhood during the times I am not mowing the yard (and getting intensity minutes that way).

My husband suggested some core strengthening exercises to help my back (which aches too often). Maybe it will help me ‘shape up’ in other ways too.

I will donate, recycle, or trash items that I don’t need. Moving my parents to assisted living has prompted me to downsize stuff more than ever before! I am thinking more about what I truly need and/or value rather than just letting items accumulate over time.

Ramping up Elder Care – January 2024

A lot has happened since I wrote the December chapter of ‘Ramping up Elder Care.’ The assisted living group home we initially found ended up not having space…so we looked at several others and settled on one that was probably better than the one we found in their neighborhood in every way but the location. When we took our parents to see their new home the day before the move, one was optimistic…the other one was silent but attentive.

The focused activity was intense to get them moved just before the end of 2023. Our strategy to have a night time caregiver in their home during December and then move them to assisted living worked….but it was more challenging that we anticipated.

  • The nightly caregivers were not consistent; we had over 5 people that handled the overnight shift during the month. Almost all of them slept for part of the night. One was very talkative. One was not very helpful. One got sick and had to leave early.

  • We opted to have two rooms for them in the assisted living group home – one for sleeping and the other for a private living room. It seems to be working well – better than having one larger room. There are 6 other people living in the assisted living group home.

  • Our parents had a lot of clothes that had accumulated over the years. Some no longer fit but one of them insisted that most were moved to assisted living.

  • There were a lot of toiletries. We opted to not take any that had dust on them! It was a harder than expected job to pack up what they would need.

  • My dad had to transition from a safety razor to an electric….which he hated.

  • My mother only began to stabilize on her meds toward the end of the month. For a few days we thought we might have to continue to give her two of her medications rather than transitioning those medications to the assisted living facility staff but it stabilized just before the big move. Physically, she made progress with the help of an excellent occupational therapist and the suggestion from a physical therapist to try massage boots for the edema in her feet and lower legs (OK’d by her vascular surgeon)

  • We celebrated their 71st wedding anniversary with special visits from family members and great food for the whole week before the move. It was joyous…but also stressful to get the visits scheduled at good times for everyone and to eat all the excellent leftovers!

  • One sister handled financies, another handled medical transition, another focused on evaluating what would need to be done with the contents of the house and sheds; I focused on my parents’ needs since I was in the house with them those last few weeks. Everyone helped pack up what needed to go on moving day….and it was still chaotic and stressful.

  • In retrospect…moving on the Friday before a holiday weekend was not the best decision because the staffing at the assisted living was reduced over the weekend and they had no time to learn to supply thickened liquids required by one of our parents (so we ended up supplying them for the weekend).

And now, as I write this, I am home in Missouri….monitoring via the cameras we’ve installed in their rooms at the assisted living but otherwise trying not to interfere as they get acclimated to their new surroundings.

The next stage is getting their house ready to sell. I’ll be back in Carrollton in mid-January for that project; hopefully I’ll be rested and ready to work by then! And my parents will be adjusted to the big move from their home to the assisted living group home.

Previous posts: November 2023, November 2023 update, December 2023

Zentangle® – December 2023

Happy New Year 2024!

31 days in December –31 Zentangle tiles selected from the 75 created during the month. I was in Carrollton for the whole month so these were made in the quiet times during, sometimes intense, elder care; their create were welcomed islands of calm. I found myself reverting to ‘thickets’ again and again!

I left my scanner at home so the images were created with photos made with my phone…not as tidy as the scanned images of prior months but it was the best I could do when it came time to do this post!

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The Zentangle® Method is an easy-to-learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. It was created by Rick Roberts and Maria Thomas. “Zentangle” is a registered trademark of Zentangle, Inc. Learn more at zentangle.com.