Sustaining Elder Care – November 2024

I have two book/puzzle sorting days at my community library before I go off to Dallas again…I am hoping to find some more 300-piece puzzles to take for my Dad. I think he is probably running a bit low and maybe my sister is bringing some older ones back that he hasn’t done recently. We don’t have as many 300-piece as we do 500…and those 500-piece ones are getting too hard for him.

The past month has been more stressful in terms of elder care than I anticipated. There is a disagreement between us daughters about whether he is having pain when he eats and he needs his food ground up. Observations of him eating are not consistent. We have asked the dentist he saw last to make an assessment….since to make the change in mealtime routine for the assisted living staff will require a doctor’s order.  On the plus side – I don’t think my dad is aware of the turmoil. Most of the interaction among my sisters and I is via text; I’ve stopped looking at the messages about an hour before bedtime to try to reduce the impact on my sleep. It’s also caused me to start thinking more about what I want my relationship with my sisters to be separate from our shared interest in our father’s well-being.

Sustaining Eldercare – October 2024

A big worry in any group living situation with older people – something contagious going around - seemed to be happening in late September. Dad developed upper respiratory congestion and was not feeling well at all; the medication his doctor prescribed made his balance even more precarious but appeared to help him otherwise. No one else in the assisted living residence had it so it might have been a seasonal allergy flare up. He is the only resident that goes outdoors on a regular basis – for his walks around the block and to help water plants around the patio. He is back to normal at this point and the family is very relieved.

We are continuing to enjoy jigsaw puzzles with him. There are some clues that don’t work for him anymore – like tiny writing on a puzzle piece; his eyesight is not good enough to read the words.

One of my sisters took a closer look at his toothbrush and electric shaver recently. The toothbrush needs to be replaced, and the electric shaver looked as if it hadn’t been cleaned for a long time. Since both of those things are items we need to provide for him, we should have been monitoring them more closely. We are good about the things we do for him daily (like putting out clothes for the next day) but probably need a list of things we check periodically (like the toothbrush and electric shaver)! The other toiletries – like toothpaste and lotion and soap – were already on our radar and there are extras of those things already available under the sink of his bathroom.

He has been living in the assisted living residence for 10 months now. My sisters and I are still tweaking how we best support him…some is just to be expected since we want to be responsive as his needs change, but other tweaks are discoveries for us of things we should have been doing proactively all along (like checking the toothbrush and the electric razor).

Sustaining Elder Care – September 2024

The past month has been challenging with one sister still traveling and another exposed to COVID (disrupting her visits to my dad). We have still sustained our goal for someone in the family to see him every day.

He is changing a bit too…often wanting to go to bed much earlier than usual. That compresses the time for us to have a good visit with him. Sometimes he will get up when one of us arrives and work on the puzzle or go for a walk if it is still light outside. It helps that the weather is not quite as hot as it was in August.

I found 9 puzzles at a used book/puzzle sale done by the Springfield MO libraries and my sister that it traveling has purchased puzzles at some of the places she visited. One of the ones I found might be kept until closer to Christmas rather than leaving it for him to do now.

The staff at his assisted living home has encouraged us to proactively reduce the clutter in his room so his day-to-day activities are less confusing to him. We’ve cleared surfaces by putting some things in enclosed storage areas and reduced the numbers of linens (he had more than double what he needed!). We took away shoes and clothes that he doesn’t wear any more. We tried to transition him from jeans to pull-on type pants and discovered that he wants to stay with the jeans!

His medical team which makes house calls for his checkups has done bloodwork, and he is in good health. But he is over 90 and some days he feels better than others.

One of my sisters is looking for ways to use his television screen to provide visually interesting slideshows; he is not interested in watching television shows or the news anymore. Hopefully we can do some experimenting over the next month to see if we can develop another activity he can enjoy.

Ten Little Celebrations – August 2024

The heat of summer is still with us…but there are signs of fall too. Lots to celebrate in August.

Road trip adventures that didn’t become problems. In the first hour of my road trip to Dallas I saw a skunk and an overturned semi-truck. The skunk abled away from the road (i.e. did not become roadkill) and the semi was on the oposite side of the highway!

Finding puzzles. Keeping the supply of puzzles coming for my dad at his assisted living home is a little more challenging since he requires ones with 500 or fewer pieces…and they can’t be small pieces. I was celebrated a couple for a reasonable price and the used book/puzzles sale from Friends of the Library is coming up in a few days where I should be able to get a good supply for $2 each.

A cooler than expected morning in Dallas. My dad likes to take walks in the neighborhood where he lives so I celebrated the morning when I was there was cool enough for the activity (it didn’t start raining until a couple of hours later when I was starting the drive back to Missouri).

Getting the whole yard mowed. I am celebrating that my stamina has improved enough that I can mow the whole yard on one day (my husband made it a little easier by buying an extra battery so I’m more confident of having enough power for the mower even if the grass is a little wet).

A rainy day. It’s been a drier August than usual. I celebrated when I heard it raining in the early morning hours.

Starting the stepping stone path in the new garden area. The narrow grassy area between a pine tree and our flower beds that I am converting to other plants is progressing well this summer. It is currently a compost area for grass clippings, pine needles, and leaves. The hostas that I planted last spring in the area are doing well. I celebrated the milestone of putting done the first two stepping stones that will lead from the patio to the yard through the area.

No tax day for school supplies/clothes. Both my husband and I intentionally made some purchases on Missouri’s no tax weekend for school supplies/clothes…celebrating the annual starting of a new school year. He got 2 pair of jeans and I got some packs of card stock: black and bright colors.

Registering/starting a class at the university. I am celebrating being back in a university classroom after more than 40 years. It feels good!

Multiple types of fungus on a stump in a neighbor’s yard. The stump is deterioating rapidly now. I’m celebrating that there are interesting fungi doing the work.

The Paris Olympics. Celebrating the efforts and sportsmanship of the athletics…seeing their dedication and joy.

Then and Now – Photography

Photography has changed a lot between the 1960s and now.

My mother was the photographer in my family and, as we got old enough, she allowed us to use her camera. It was an Instamatic that had a flash cube option. Film was expensive enough that we were careful to make the most of each shot. I remember sending off the rolls of film to be developed…another expense. She had taken pictures of us as babies earlier (in the 1950s) – with a camera I don’t remember – and the images were all black and white. By the mid-1960s, there are more family images in color. She often wrote on the back of the pictures: date, names of people, location.

Cameras that produced digital images became broadly available in the 1990s and now a lot of images are produced with our Smartphones. The two ‘cameras’ I used now are a Canon Powershot SX70 HS and an iPhone 15 Pro Max. The Canon is best for instances where I need the optical zoom capability (for bird and butterfly photography, for example) and I find that I can hold it steadier than the phone (i.e. the form of the camera is easier to ‘hand hold’ than the phone) The iPhone is best for macro photography. The iPhone also has the advantage of being with me almost all the time.

There are many advanced functions on both cameras. The only one I find that I use is the ‘night scene’ one that stacks low light images into a single image. Both of my cameras have the function…and it works well.

Digital cameras allow easy review of pictures immediately which shortens the photographic learning curve – no waiting until the film is developed to see if the image captured was as anticipated. I love to experiment with different settings to create high key images…and reduce the ‘burn out’ in part of the image on sunny days.

There are a lot of ways to edit pictures now – both in the ‘camera’ and post processing. I choose not to use any of them except cropping. It makes me uncomfortable to change an image to something the camera did not ‘see’ --- and it’s not something I want to spend time doing. I challenge myself to get the image I want with the camera I have! With the optics and image stabilization that cameras have today that is not as hard as it was in the 1960s.

Previous Then and Now posts

Then and Now – Cars and Driving

The first car I remember well was in the 1960s – a small red Ford my father bought for my mother. It did not have air conditioning…or seat belts (it was before they became standard equipment in the later 1960s). The windows were opened/closed manually with a handle. There were no car seats for children either although my mother generally put my sisters and I in the back seat. I was the oldest so sometimes road in the front seat. It did have power steering and brakes…probably because my mother was not very good driving with a manual transmission. The car was the second for our household and was parked at the curb since my father’s car was parked in the one-car garage.

My father’s car did have air conditioning and was larger. He started buying new cars (Oldsmobile or Buick were his preferred make) almost every year in by 1963; my mother got to drive his older car and they traded in her car. Those cars had windows that opened and closed with a button. I remember the first car my father owned that had seatbelts because he had a serious accident in it; a truck sideswiped the car on the driver’s side and he always claimed that he would not have survived if he’d been wearing a seatbelt since he was pushed to the passenger side during the accident. It took several years before he started wearing seat belts consistently and even more years before he took his keys/locked his car when he parked it. I also remember my father’s first car that has radial tires in the late 1960s; the road noise was noticeably different.

Most of our road trips were to visit family members. My mother drove my sisters and I to visit her parents (aunt, uncles, cousins) at least once every summer. The trek was between Wichita Falls TX and Beggs OK and was a lot of 2 lane roads…often very curvy. We took food and drink with us…stopped at gasoline stations for the bathrooms (which were usually in bad shape). My mother was not a great driver…but she knew her limitations and never had an accident. She shared that when she first learned to drive, she tended to look at the front of the car when she was driving; my dad noticed shortly after they married and coached her to look further out – to become a more defensive driver.

I learned to drive in the two cars my parents were driving at the time (a large Oldsmobile and Buick) later in the 1960s. My driver’s ed class emphasized wearing seat belts and I convinced my whole family we needed to ‘buckle up’ consistently.  Both of my parents encouraged me to drive whenever I was in the car with them as soon as I got my learner’s permit; I got my driver’s license on my 16th birthday and became the designated driver for my younger sisters and my parents when I was available. I didn’t have my own car until after the 1960s.

Now – the car I drive is smaller – a plug-in hybrid (2017 Prius Prime). The air conditioning and heating has a thermostat rather than the 1960s switch controls. Perhaps the equivalent of the big Buicks and Oldsmobiles of the 1960s are the SUVs that are very popular now. The cruise control is adaptive. Many of the controls are digital rather than switches. The navigation system is a big improvement over a collection of paper maps or a road atlas kept in the car at all times. There are handy places to put drinks that were absent in the 1960s cars. My car has a hatch opening in the back rather than the enclosed trunk of the big 1960s cars; SUVs also have an opening in the back that connects to the interior of the car. The seatbelts (one unit lap and cross body) are more comfortable than the clunky lap belts and then clucky two-piece lap/shoulder belts of the 1960s. The bucket seats in front have more adjustments than the bench seats of the 1960s and the material covers are more durable. Cars frequently last for 100,000 miles or more now; that was very unusual in the 1960s.

Cars have improved a lot since the 1960s – in both function and durability - and driving is easier because of those improvements and the highway system that has matured (although it often needs maintenance). My frequent road trips would certainly be more challenging/less enjoyable in a 1960s car and on 1960s style roads!

Previous Then and Now posts

Gleanings of the Week Ending July 6, 2024

The items below were ‘the cream’ of the articles and websites I found this past week. Click on the light green text to look at the article.

Extended maternal care central factor to human other animal, longevity – In species where offspring survival depends on the longer-term presence of the mother, the species tends to evolve longer lives and a slower life pace, which is characterized by how long an animal lives and how often it reproduces.

The 'gene deserts' unravelling the mysteries of disease - Less than 2% percent of the human genome is dedicated to coding for genes which produce proteins, while much of the remaining 98% has no obvious meaning or purpose. But scientists are slowly managing to accrue information about the ‘gene deserts’ apparent purpose and why they exist.

These Stunning Butterflies Flew 2,600 Miles Across the Atlantic Ocean Without Stopping – Painted Lady butterflies spotted in French Guiana where they are not usually found. Sequencing the butterflies’ genome revealed that they were related to African and European painted ladies – not North American. And looking at weather data revealed that wind conditions in the weeks prior to the sighting were favorable for the butterflies moving from Africa to South America.

Simple test for flu could improve diagnosis and surveillance - Fewer than one percent of people who get the flu every year get tested, in part because most tests require trained personnel and expensive equipment. The current version of new test is a low-cost paper strip that distinguishes between influenza A and B and subtypes H1N1 and H3N2. It works at room temperature…takes about 90 minutes. They are working to reduce the time to 15 minutes.

To Save the Red Knots, Look to Blue Carbon – Red Knots migrate over 9,000 miles to the Arctic to breed. Along the way they stop for meals of mussels and clams in coastal areas. This post highlights 6 projects from around the world that are restoring those area…for the red knots and the health of the planet.

Photography In the National Parks: Two Cave Parks Above and BelowWind Cave National Park and Jewel Cave National Monument. Full of ideas for photographing inside caves and above them! My first thought was to see if there is a trail that goes over the top of Sequiota Cave and Spring near Springfield MO (we did a boat tour of the cave last spring).

Surprising phosphate finding in NASA's OSIRIS-REx asteroid sample – Remembering when we went to the launch of the mission in September 2016.

Swift Parrots and the Heartbreak of Rare Species – Endangered Australian parrots…with only an estimated 500 birds left in the wild. “We conservationists bear witness to so much loss: of species, ecosystems, and the places we know and love. Often, it feels like we’re watching extinction in real time, powerless to stop it. But there is value in staring these losses in the face. Value in bearing witness to a rare parrot with an uncertain future, knowing full well I might mourn its extinction in a few years time. If the worst happens, at least I will have cherished it while it was here.”

A Big Picture of the US Housing Market - High interest rates, supply constraints and growth in home insurance premiums (particularly in states like California and Florida) are all driving housing costs. There is some news that’s more positive. Nearly 450,000 new apartments were finished in 2023, the highest rate in about three decades. However, average rents remain above pre-pandemic levels in most markets.

Sheep & Solar: A “Beautiful Symbiotic Relationship” - When solar farms use sheep instead of mowers for vegetation management, they minimize burning fossil fuels, and costs associated with labor are also reduced. Investment costs for a solar farm might include water tanks, troughs, a small water pump to fill the troughs, predator-proof fencing, and dividing into sections for rotational grazing. The sheep eat the tall grass, weeds, and clover, and their chomping inhibits the vegetation from blocking the panels. Their steady consumption of forage on the land prevents grassy plants from growing high enough to block sunlight from reaching the panels, maintaining the productivity of the array. Sheep are the most appropriate ruminant species when it comes to vegetation management on solar farms because they are too small to damage the panels when rubbing against them, and they are not predisposed to chewing on wires or jumping on the panels.

Sustaining Elder Care – June 2024

A lot had happened over the past month.

A resident of the assisted living home came down with a respiratory infection but was getting better; then another one became sick and spent a few days in the hospital before returning. My dad didn’t get sick at all. The episode caused an uptick in anxiety for my sisters and I for a few days.  

One of my sisters was going to cut his toenails and discovered two small wounds on his leg. He didn’t remember how he’d gotten them and there was no incident reported by the staff. Fortunately, they were not infected and appeared to be healing.

With the staff turnover, we have realized that his medications are not being given as consistently as we assumed. One of my sisters reviewed the meds with a staff member and discovered that the supply of some supplements had be depleted and no one had told us more needed to be purchased! Most of what he takes are supplements, but now we are concerned about whether he has been getting his few prescription drugs reliably since his ophthalmologist discovered he had a small stroke near one of his optic nerves and can only see light and colors in that eye now; we will always wonder whether the assisted living staffers were giving him the eye drops prescribed to lower the pressure in his eyes.  

My dad complained of his front teeth hurting; we have known for some time that his lower teeth were loose and that there was not enough bone or other teeth to do any kind of restoration. The decision had been made to cut up his food and train him to avoid using those front teeth. But that was before they started hurting. My sister that handles most of his medical appointments contacted the doctor that comes to the assisted living home for most of his medical needs and discovered that they there is a dentist in their practice! Within a few days, the dentist came, got updated x-rays, and pulled two lower teeth! Both were not in much bone and were relatively easy to pull. Now the staff really will have to pay more attention and cut up his food consistently; even though the requirement has been in their document for him since January, they seem to lapse into serving him food that he can’t eat with the teeth he has (or rather doesn’t have).

The only doctor he leaves the assisted living home to see is a dermatologist; a small skin cancer was removed this month. The visits are quite tiring for him…being in the car, waiting for the doctor…the procedure itself is very short. My sisters and I anticipate a time when he won’t be able to withstand that kind of medical appointment.

He is still doing puzzles – enjoying the shared project with anyone visiting him. He is joyous every time one is finished.

The flower beds at the assisted living home contain some of the plants from his previous home…planted by one of my sisters. They are doing well however, she is frustrated that one of the beds that she hasn’t work on, is full of Virginia Creeper; she is too allergic to do anything that bed.

The weather in Dallas has gotten hot enough that walking in the afternoon with Dad might not be a good idea. We all try to take him for neighborhood walks whenever the weather is cool enough. The walks will probably be more and more skewed to the mornings.

Dad seems to be adjusting to the upheavals well enough. He is more resilient that any of us anticipated.

Previous Elder Care posts

Then and Now – Food

My mother had taken a college nutrition course in the 1950s, so my memories of meals growing up were relatively well balanced.

  • There were more canned vegetable and fruits than we eat now when we usually eat fresh or frozen…very few canned goods. I do remember frozen strawberries, spinach and broccoli in the 1960s…but they didn’t come in a plastic bag (it was a box of thin cardboard,sometimes with metal ends). Fresh fruits and vegetables were seasonal. A lot of our produce seemed to come from the Rio Grande Valley of Texas (and we lived in Texas). My grandparents had vegetable gardens; I particularly remember corn on the cob, tomatoes, watermelons and cantaloupe during the summer. Still - most of our food came from the grocery store which is true today as well. Fresh fruits and vegetables were purchased whole – not cut up or pre-washed as they sometimes are today. Vegetables that were stable at room temperature like potatoes and onions were kept in a bin in the pantry --- frozen versions were not generally available.

  • Meats were mostly cooked from raw although my mother did use canned chicken, tuna, and salmon (I have canned chicken and salmon in my pantry…but I don’t like tuna). The raw chicken was more likely to be a whole chicken that my mother cooked whole or cut up and then cooked; now I buy boneless chicken breasts exclusively….and I never fry chicken; my mother didn’t fry chicken either she but she did bake chicken with crumbled Cheez-it cracker crust.  Bacon was the same although the curing might have been a bit different; it wasn’t packaged in plastic. Ham was purchased whole usually with a bone; sometimes it came in a ham shaped can without a bone. We rarely had deli meats although there were some packaged meats like hotdogs, baloney and chipped beef…which my mother served occasionally. My mother liked to buy ground chuck rather than the higher fat hamburger meat. These days I buy more chicken than lean beef and almost no pork.  My mother probably served more beef…followed by pork…and then chicken. I skew toward organic meats; even though that labeling did not exist in the 1960s, the meats were probably closer to organic since it was before CAFOs and prophylactic antibiotic use in farm animals.

  • My mother searched for whole grain bread. It was hard to find. Roman Meal was the brand I remember the most. White Wonder bread seemed to be the most popular with everyone else. These days I buy whole grain organic bread with a short ingredient list.

  • The other foods from grain we ate included oatmeal (generally for breakfast), pasta (egg noodles and elbow macaroni were more frequently served than spaghetti), boxed cereals  (Cheerios were a favorite although my Dad really liked Sugar Frosted Flakes…which my mother frowned on), and crackers (saltines and graham crackers). My father didn’t like rice so my mother rarely served it.  I still use oatmeal occasionally but there are new grains too: quinoa and bulghur wheat. I rarely eat rice; it’s not that I don’t like it…but I just don’t like it enough to cook it. I don’t buy crackers since I don’t need the empty calories and neither does my husband.

  • The only beans my mother liked were pinto beans. I can remember her cooking a large pot of pinto beans whenever she had a ham bone…it was the last ‘meal’ made with a ham. We ate the beans with chunks of ham as a soup as soon as they finished cooking and then as leftovers with other meals. I generally my organic canned pinto beans now when we make chili.

  • Eggs and dairy were a daily part of my mother’s meal plan. She always kept whole milk on hand. She bought it in gallon cartons (not plastic coated) since there were enough of us to drink it relatively quickly. These days I drink 2% fat Lactaid milk since I have become lactose intolerant, and it comes in a plastic jug. My mother used Velveeta cheese for grilled cheese sandwiches and macaroni and cheese (she cooked the macaroni…made a white sauce that melted the cheese…put both in a baking dish with wheat germ sprinkled on top to bake together before serving). I don’t eat cheese sandwiches or macaroni and cheese anymore! I do still occasionally have cottage cheese…but I take a Lactaid pill when I do. Eggs are still prepared as they were in the 1960s: hardboiled, fried or scrambled (but with spray on a non-stick pan rather than in bacon grease). I also like frittatas and quiche and other egg casseroles which we didn’t make in the 1960s.

  • We did occasionally have Koolaid or Lemonade or Hawaiian punch in the summer or a soft drink for a special occasion (making an ice cream float or when I visited my grandmother at her work). Most of the time we drank water or milk. It was a special treat to have sweet iced tea with special meals or to eat a popsicle (usually frozen in our freezer) on a hot afternoon. Ice cream was always a favorite – but not eaten daily. I drink soft drinks more often now and unsweetened tea…but milk and water are still frequent beverages. I am trying to cut back on soft drinks and any beverages with sugar (refined or artificial).

  • Nuts were used for snacks although they often required a hammer and cutting board to get the goodie out of the shell. My mother seemed to enjoy buying a bag of mixed nuts in their shells (pecans, walnuts, filberts, Brazil nuts, almonds) from the produce section during the winter holidays. Our favorites were probably pecans. Now I general buy nuts that have already been shelled. We also liked peanut butter; my mother did not approve of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but we enjoyed peanut butter and celery or peanut butter on toast with brown sugar sprinkled on top. My favorite breakfast in recent months is peanut butter toast (no sugar on top).

Food is prepared differently now too:

  • My mother’s favorite quick meals were a protein (hard boiled eggs, canned tuna, chipped beef, canned chicken) in white sauce over toast with a canned vegetable (green beans, for example) or fresh vegetable like carrot or celery sticks. For the younger children, she would cut up the toast before spooning on the white sauce concoction; as we got old enough we learned to cut it up for ourselves after the white sauce was on top. Now I tend to do stir fries for fast meals. I usually do the whole meal in one pot and serve it in a bowl rather than a plate. Gravies like white sauce are not part of the meal at all.

  • There were no microwaves in the 1960s. We made popcorn in a pan if we wanted it. I still use the same type of popcorn…but have a bowl that I use in the microwave to pop it in and I use walnut or sesame oil rather than butter.

  • Sometimes we had hot tea for breakfast or when it was cold outside (always with lots of milk). We made it with tea bags in a little pot or directly in our cups. There were no Mr. Coffee or Keurig machines! I use a Coffee Maker that has never made coffee to make pots of tea now.

  • There were Czech desserts for special meals when I was growing up; no one picked up the role to bake like that after my grandmother died because we just don’t eat that much bread and sugar anymore.  These days we rarely have dessert although when I do - I am still partial to desserts that include fruits (apple pie, apricot tarts, etc). I do enjoy a good carrot cake or red velvet cake but might buy it from a bakery; if I make it myself, I usually serve it without icing!

  • Salads are somewhat easier now. Greens can be bought pre-washed and in convenient bins…and there is a huge variety of kinds beyond iceberg and Romaine lettuce (I like arugula and spinach and ‘spring’ greens). Other ingredients can be bought already cut up now although I generally choose to buy salad ingredients that I cut myself (with the exception of carrots which are my go to snack in the afternoon). The selection of salad dressing is much greater now too although Ranch dressing seems to be too dominant; in the 1960s I remember Thousand Island and French and Vinegar/oil dressings.  I get dressings with names like creamy ginger…or make my own balsamic vinaigrette.

  • My mother sometimes prepared milkshakes (milk, ice cream, raw eggs) for breakfast with toast. She had a blender with a glass body that was heavy but did the job of making a slightly thickened drink. These days I have a Ninja Master Prep and I make ‘smoothies’ rather than milkshakes…without raw eggs. I use milk, frozen fruit (banana + another fruit), frozen veggie (like broccoli), protein powder if I am short protein for the day, and hemp seeds. It comes out the consistency of soft serve ice cream but without any refined sugar!

Overall – there are a lot of ways to eat healthy today even though there are also a lot more ultra-proccessed foods to avoid. Right now, with the exception of soft drinks, I am eating healthier than I did as a child!

Previous Then and Now posts

Ten Little Celebrations – May 2024

May 2024 was full of little celebrations…with near perfect temperatures and some big events.

3 pink irises - Most of the irises were fading by May but there were three still in good condition in a flower bed at the side of our house which can’t be seen (by us or our neighbors) except by walking around our house. I saw them when I was mowing and cut them to bring indoors.

Bleu Monkey - The first thing we did in Hot Springs was to have lunch. We picked a great place – tasty food and a huge drink (that my daughter did not finish)…but what made it celebratory was the interaction with the other patrons!

Garvan Woodland Gardens – My daughter and I both celebrated our experience at Garvan Woodland Gardens (via golf cart and on foot). I’m sure we’ll go again…maybe experience it in every season over the next few years.

Whirlpool bath at Buckstaff Bathhouse in Hot Springs – The Buckstaff Bathhouse is a way to celebrate history and the great feel hot springs.

Large birdbath – I moved a large glass birdbath from Maryland but didn’t set it up last year because I didn’t think the old stand was stable enough in our environment. I bought a new stand at Branson’s Butterfly Palace last fall and celebrated how great it looks set up near our bird feeders…and that I’ve seen birds coming to get a drink.

Mowing the whole yard in one day – Usually I mow my yard over 2 days…so I celebrate when I can do it one. It helped that May was cool…I probably won’t attempt it when the temperatures are higher.

A new family member - One of my nieces had a baby girl….always a celebratory event.

New glasses - I celebrated new plastic frames (rather than wire rims with pads as the bridge) that feel better on my narrow nose bridge.

Salmon salad – Salad made with canned salmon and celery (and other veggies) with chipotle mayonnaise (or other spicy dressing) has become one of my favorite lunches. I celebrated rediscovering a staple (canned salmon) that my mother always had in her pantry.

Aurora from our deck – My husband and I both celebrated that we managed to see and photograph the aurora from the deck of our house! It was very special.

Then and Now – Houses

My parents house during the early 1960s was three bedrooms and two bathrooms. The bath associated with the master bedroom was very small with a shower stall rather than a bathtub. I always used the other one and so did my parents. My mother had a combination washer and dryer in a space along the hallway which my Dad had to enlarge slightly to help it fit. The kitchen had a window over the sink and a tabletop that folded up from the opposite wall which also had shelves that was the pantry. There was no built-in dishwasher, but my parents bought one that rolled over to the attach to the sink when it ran.

The house had wood floors; I can remember my mother cleaning and waxing them. The living room and what was intended as a dining room were separated by an accordion curtain that hung from the ceiling and had a track on the floor. We used the dining room as a continuation of the living room where we could play. Those two rooms were carpeted a few years before my parents built a new house in the mid-1960s.

The new house had a lot more room in every area (4 bedrooms, 3 baths) but was still one floor on a slab foundation – the most common type of construction in that area of Texas. The new house had tile in the foyer, vinyl in the high traffic areas, and carpeting in the bedrooms. I remember going with my mother to the store to pick the knobs for the builder to use in the bathroom that would be between the two bedrooms used by me and my sisters. My parents had built-ins made in all the bedrooms so that we didn’t need furniture for our clothes. My bedroom with my sister had the built-ins the closet; the furniture in the room included twin beds with bookcase type headboards, desks with chairs (without rollers), and a credenza with sliding doors. Everything was new! The two-car garage (with one door) had an enclosed storage area on one side. The roof was cedar shake.

My house today is about 1,000 more square feet and has a walkout basement and a 3-car garage. There has been heightened awareness of the radon issue since the 1980s and our house had remediation installed as we were moving in a few years ago. Our house has a storm room even though the risk of tornadoes was higher where we lived in the 1960s than it is now (and slab foundation houses don’t offer as much protection as ones with a basement).

Cedar shake shingles are no longer popular (too much of a fire risk) although I did notice some houses that still had them were on the market when we were looking for our current house; I would never buy a house with that kind of roof unless I planned to immediately replace it with another, less volatile type of shingle.

My house has all electric appliances in the kitchen unlike the gas stove tops and ovens that dominated in the 1960s.

I have vinyl flooring in the kitchens (I have two in my house), wood-like vinyl plank in the living and dining and hallways. The rest is carpeted. That is similar enough to what my mother had in her house although the carpet color is neutral in my house; my mother chose a pink/red carpeting for me and my sisters bedrooms and gold for the other rooms!

My mother did not like blinds (she had bad experiences with Venetian blinds of the 1950s)…so all the rooms had custom made lined drapery. Today all our windows have blinds for privacy and the drapery is more to add color and shape.

The large den and kitchen area of my parents’ house had dark paneling. There is no paneling at all in my house now. One similarity that surprises me a little – my mother had the kitchen in the center of the house with lower walls on two sides that looked to the breakfast area and den; in my current house, the kitchen is also in the middle of the house, has low walls that look out to the den and dining room (that we use as our piano room)…and is continuous with the breakfast area. Her kitchen did not have an island; mine does.

As I am thinking through this aspect of then and now, I am realizing that my mother’s house of the mid-1960s was probably her favorite house…and the one I am living in now is my favorite. She was in her early 30s and I am in my 70s!

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Sustaining Elder Care – May 2024

Since my last ‘sustaining elder care’ post, I have been to Dallas twice and am acknowledging that maybe my plan to drive down once a month is not going to work. Two times a month is becoming my more realistic plan.

Now that the days are longer, I can visit in the afternoon on the day I drive down and again in the morning before I drive back to Missouri. My dad is the only morning person in his assisted living group home so visiting him in the morning is prime one-on-one time. He frequently has a ‘first breakfast’ before anyone else is awake (about the time I arrive) and then eats again with everyone else. Between the two light meals we can take a walk around the block or maybe further if his stamina increases; in the summer, the morning walk might be his only walk of the day.

One of the challenges right now is that my dad tends to lose track of his reading glasses (he needs them to work on puzzles). My sister has brought a supply but hopefully some of them will show up again. While we were working on the puzzle during my morning visit, he did it without glasses! He seemed to enjoy the challenge of working from the shape of the piece entirely – and he was successful plenty of times.

I bought 10 more puzzles at the $3/bag day at my Missouri library’s used books (and puzzles) sale. What a bargain! One of them was a duplicate but it still was a good deal! We started the beach and lighthouse puzzle in the upper left corner of the picture below during my first visit in May.

There has been some upheaval at the assisted living home – the lead staff member being reassigned to another home and some leadership being rotated in from other homes – the company searching for a permanent replacement. There is also a new resident in a room near my dad’s. So far, he seems to be unperturbed by the changes, but my sisters and I are thinking more about what our plan would be if something went very wrong at the home where he is.

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Springfield’s Artsfest

We almost cancelled our plans to go to Springfield’s Artsfest because thunderstorms were in the forecast….but they happened in the early morning rather than during the prime time for Artsfest. We got there about 11 and appreciated the Missouri State University parking garage…much easier than street parking in the area. We enjoyed the long row of artsy vendors along with food trucks, local government/non-profits information tables, and musicians on small stages just far enough away from each other to not clash. It was warm enough that we got a cup of Pineapple Whip almost immediately!

Last year I bought earrings for me and a stainless-steel iris for my mother (for Mother’s Day). I’m not wearing earrings as frequently these days, so I was determined to not buy any new ones (and opted to not even look because they are just so tempting both from habit and my enjoyment of wearable art). I couldn’t resist buying a stainless-steel spider mum from the same vendor that made the iris.

I stopped to talk to one of the artists whose botanical paintings are so textured that they are almost a sculpture coming out of the canvas. I was surprised at the various materials she used in her work; it depended on how far the texture projected from the canvas!

After a little over an hour – we were ready for lunch and opted to stop by my daughter’s house before we headed to a BBQ place. There is always something to notice in her yard:

A small insect on a miniature rose.

A vine that had died last year after an overzealous yard person sprayed too much weed killer nearby coming back and full of unfurling blooms.

The tree that was also impacted by the same killing event is also recovering although some limbs appear to have died and need to be pruned away. I always like the thick lichen on the trunk.

The spider mum was another way of celebrating my mother’s life; when we got home, I put the pink iris from last year in front of one of my office windows (I brought it home when my parents’ house was sold) and the spider mum under the pine tree where I can see it through another window. Good memories for May 2024 and 2023!

Rhododendron

Our rhododendron bloomed profusely this year – no frost damaged buds like last year. The whole bush was covered with blooms. It started in mid-April and all the buds had opened by the first few days of May.

I couldn’t resist a round of macro shots. It was good experience with my new iPhone 15 Pro Max. I like the individual flowers, the flower clusters, the new growth – it is full of photographic opportunities. The bush seems to be growing a lot better this year too; maybe it has recovered from the big drought the summer we moved to Missouri.

Do rhododendrons make good cut flowers? I did a search and discovered that yes…to cut a cluster with some unopened buds and slit the end of the stalk to allow easier water uptake. I put the cluster in a wine glass my parents got for their 50th wedding anniversary from a couple they had met in college and remained friends through the years….savored the flowers in my office.  All the buds eventually opened just as they would have outdoors.

I also learned that sometimes rhododendron need to be pruned but it won’t be this year…and maybe for years to come. My bush is in a place where it can expand in almost every direction. I will probably cut more flower clusters next spring now that I know how well they last indoors and, I guess, that will be the extent of the ‘pruning’ done!

Out and About with Company

When my sister and brother-in-law were visiting – stopping for a few days at a RV park near us before they continued on their month long travels – we enjoyed the botanical gardens and the zoo, then decided on a less active day starting with brunch at my house (I made a ‘full oven’ of food: egg casserole, chunks of seasoned new potatoes, and pumpkin bread) followed by a walk around the Springfield Art Museum and then the Springfield Conservation Nature Center.

The art museum was opening their Art in Bloom event – with the fashion component being the main part available for viewing. My favorite was the creation that was inspired by the hallway long tilted sky – probably my favorite piece in the museum!

Of course, there were plenty of other things to enjoy in the museum – other fashion and art works. I’ve picked some of my favorite views from the pictures it took.

Then we were off to the nature center…not for a hike (one of my guests was having back problems) but for the center itself. The turtle tank was being renovated so there were two large snapping turtles in a tank that was too small for them long term but offered views from two sides. It was a great photographic opportunity.

And then they headed off to prepare for the next leg of their trip.

Then and Now – Family

In the 1960s, I was growing up in a large extended family. My mother had 8 siblings and my father, an only child, was close to his cousins. Most of our traveling was to visit family. By the time I was in elementary school, my parents had a second car, and my mother took us to her parents’ home for a week or so during the summer to see the aunt and uncles…continuously growing number of cousins. I remember my grandfather’s construction projects that included a covered patio/carport with a very long table and bench overlooking a large elm where he’d fashioned a table and benches to fit neatly around its large trunk. We ate every meal aside from breakfast outdoors! There was also a large barbeque pit with a huge grill and an oven built into the chimney. He built a fountain of natural stone near the garden…the swimming pool was a little further away. Prior to the swimming pool being built, he often found a river suitable for swimming for all the aunts and cousins….and he would do some fishing. I enjoyed one-on-one time with my maternal grandmother at her work (she owned/ran the mill); I remember her writing letters to one of her daughters that lived far away over a few days before deciding it was long enough and sending it off.

 My paternal grandparents moved to live near us in the late 50s, so I saw them very frequently – lots of good food, gardening, crocheting, sewing, dominoes and checkers. We saw my dad’s extended family at gatherings held at his paternal aunt’s house. I remember my great aunt had hollyhocks beside her porch. We visited his maternal aunts (and grandmother) that lived in the same town. I associate my great-grandmother with chocolate covered graham crackers and her daughters with plants (my grandmother had a number of plants that she received originally from her sisters).

The food was always plentiful and included veggies from the garden. The paternal side of the family also cooked Czech desserts (kolaches!).

Now the family is significantly smaller. I have 3 sisters and am the only one that lives further away; only 1 of my sisters has children so the number of cousins is small. My husband had 2 sisters, but they are already gone as is his extended family. My sisters and I are transitioning from a relationship that has be very focused on caring for our parents over the past few years – not yet settled into a new normal without our mother. I am not close to my cousins although I have been seeing 3 of them more frequently at funerals recently…realizing that we have in common our adjustment to life after long-lived parents die.

I drive from my home in Missouri to visit my dad near Dallas once or twice a month in his assisted living home. My daughter goes with me sometimes. One sister visits him almost daily. The other two visit once or twice a week when they are town. I try to see at least one of them when I visit Dad. Two of them have visited us in Missouri. We text each other frequently – mostly keeping each other informed about what is happening with Dad. There are infrequent emails, phone calls, or zoom meeting. I enjoy my access to a frequently updated cloud folder of great nephew pictures. The way we keep in touch when we are not together has changed significantly since the 1960s!

Food had changed as well. We seem to all have foods we are avoiding now (and the problematic foods are not the same!)…and desserts are not something we want as frequently. We tend to go to a restaurant for special occasions more often then eating at home.

Previous Then and Now posts

Dickerson Park Zoo – April 2024

My first trip of the season to the Dickerson Park Zoo was back at the end of March (post 1, post 2); my second was near the end of April when my sister and brother-in-law visited. Like the first visit, there were lots of peacocks wandering through the zoo; this time there were peahens too and there were some instances where it looked like the birds were either already incubating eggs…or getting a ‘nest’ ready. There was a male just past the entrance that was actively displaying for a peahen…moving both the upright tail feathers and the supporting structures behind the big tail. The birds were also vocalizing the whole time we were at the zoo.

Daffodils were replaced with irises blooming in clumps along the walkways and the sides of the stream.

I enjoyed the enclosure for flamingos, roseate spoonbills, and scarlet ibis.

There was one flamingo that was sitting and kept its head in the dirt…perhaps not feeling so well. All the other birds seemed to be active (particularly the spoonbills) and enjoying the afternoon.

I zoomed in on some feathers that had been shed in the enclosure. It is interesting that the feathers are white toward the base….very colorful in the part furthest from the body of the bird (when attached).

The trumpeter swans were on the pond as they were last time – perhaps a little perturbed by the tree trimming that was happening nearby.

Both the cheetahs and lions were out – and one of the cheetahs was moving around a lot. It could have been responding to the extra noise.

One bongo was relaxing while the other nibbled at leaves.

I zoomed in on the elephant’s eye – realized that they are amber in color. A keeper came to give hay to the elephant and asked if we had questions. I asked if all elephants have amber eyes and evidently that is the eye color for Asian elephants. The elephant is named Patience and she is a geriatric elephant; she likes to be alone rather than with the other female (they don’t get along).

I took another picture of the little elephant sculpture…probably my favorite sculpture at the zoo. I think the shiny top of its head is where people touch it the most!

It was starting to sprinkle but we wanted to see the giraffes. One of the young ones was intent on getting some grass near the fence.

My brother-in-law became mesmerized watching a little girl held by her mother feed the giraffes romaine lettuce; she was an expert…must do it frequently.

We headed back to the zoo store where my sister bought one of almost every item shaped like a turtle! It was a good finale for our visit to the zoo.

Springfield Botanical Gardens – April 2024

I made my second visit to the Springfield Botanical Gardens in late April when one of my sisters was visiting; my husband and I had gone to the Kite and Pinata Festival earlier in the month. The tulips had been in full bloom during the first visit. There were a few left in late April, but the irises and columbines were the big show. I noticed some native honeysuckle and clematis blooming as well. I made it a goal to make a walk around the gardens at least once a month until cold weather comes again next fall. There will always be something new to see.

My sister and I walked through the Mizumoto Japanese Stroll Garden after viewing the gardens close to the Botanical Center building. I used my Friends of the Garden membership in lieu of the admission fee. I made a small cairn on one of the posts near the rock garden…this time choosing the same type of stone for all three rocks.

The Japanese lanterns are always some of my favorite photographic subjects in the garden. I like the greenery around many of them. The pines are there all year round, but the grasses and yellow iris are only around during the warm months.

The yellow iris grow around the ponds – along with the bald cypress knees that always make the water’s edge look more interesting.

It was a good way to spend a couple of hours….enjoy the beautiful gardens and get in some steps for the day!

Ten Little Celebrations – April 2024

April 2024 has been even more full of little celebrations than usual; it was challenging to choose the top 10!

Traveling with my daughter. Taking a road trip to Dallas (a familiar trek) is quite different when my daughter to with me. We start the driving a bit later and, this time, we stopped in Joplin on the way home for lunch. I celebrated the time in the car…the great conversation.

The life of a cousin. It was bittersweet to go to the funeral of a cousin that was younger than me…but it was clearly a celebration of her life.

20 puzzles for $2 each. The Friends of the Library book sale in my county included puzzles and I celebrated getting 20 of them for my dad and the other residents at his assisted living group home. I also celebrated a return to volunteering - helping with the book sale.

iPhone 15 Pro Max. Getting a new phone is always cause to celebrate….even though I started out a little anxious that it would a little challenging to go from my old Android phone to an iPhone; it was a pleasant surprise to realize it was pretty easy. The only downside was the reduced functionality of the Windows phone link app for text messages; that issue was resolved as soon as I transitioned to a Mac later in the month.

MacBook Air 15”. More new technology I am celebrating; it only took about 24 hours for me to become a fan of the Mac after using Intel-based machines since the 1980s.

Irises. The plants bloomed all at once. In one bed the stalks were too tall for them to remain standing to I cut them to enjoy indoors – celebrated the buds opening all along the stems.

14 ducklings. Seeing Mom Mallard with her ducklings is a great celebration of spring.

Solar Eclipse. So glad we made the effort to position ourselves to see a 2nd solar eclipse (the 1st for me was in 2017). It’s a phenomenon rare enough to be a celebration.

Belted Kingfisher. Celebrating a bird I didn’t expect to see around our neighborhood pond.

Kite and Pinata Festival. The botanical garden is a great place for outdoor celebrations like this.

Sustaining Elder Care – April 2024

2-day trips to Dallas have become the norm for me. I leave early from home, visit my dad immediately after I get to Dallas in the early afternoon and take care of any other business thereafter…then stay in a hotel overnight and drive home the next day. Now that the days are getting longer, perhaps I might visit him a second time in the morning before I head home although the assisted living group home is not ‘early.’ I probably would not want to arrive for a visit before 10 AM.

Dad still enjoys going out to eat and we are exploring more places nearby.

The warmer weather is great for walks. We have discovered that he does better with a four-wheeled walker than the two-wheeled one. The rough pavement makes it very hard to use the two-wheeled one. His balance is much improved holding onto the four-wheeled walker and he walks at a pace that is more like the way he walked prior to using a walker.

He has decided that 500 pieces puzzles are usually too hard…and he wants bigger pieces. I got 10 puzzles for $20 at the library’s used books (and puzzles) sale; knowing what they have is one of the benefits of volunteering for setup. Most of the puzzles I got have 300 pieces and I am hopefull my dad and others at the group home will enjoy putting them together. I picked ones with bright colors too – although that wasn’t a requirement from my dad.

One of my sisters and her husband took my dad to her home to see the eclipse on the 8th. Unfortunately, he didn’t understand what was happening and kept asking where he was. It was a learning experience for our family – we will continue to enjoy taking him out to lunch occasionally but be very careful not to overwhelm him with more complex events away from his assisted living home.

I had thought I would be able to get down to one visit per month…but so far that hasn’t happened.

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