Matriarch Inflection Points

Today’s post is about inflection points of life. I got the idea of inflection points from a book by Andrew Grove - Only the Paranoid Survive  - that I read years ago. Or course, his book was about strategic inflection points for business and ways to anticipate those inflection points. He defined a strategic inflection point as ‘a time in the life of a business when its fundamentals are about to change.’ The inflection point is much easier to see looking backward. The idea stuck in my mind.  I like the notion of recognizing that some changes in life are more than a milestone - they are an inflection point because your life is forever changed afterwards.

Thinking about inflection points of my life - there are some that are pretty common life changing points: marriage and having child (many years later). Others I forced because of a decision I made - switching to an entirely different area of study for graduate school, moving half-way across the country from my family to pursue my career, and deciding to leave my primary career in my late 50s rather than waiting until my mid-60s. Those inflection points are ones I see looking back. They are slightly skewed toward the earlier decades of my life: 2 happened in my 20s, 2 in my 30s, and 1 in my 50s. It’s interesting that I don’t see inflection points inside my career; the 40 years was a gradual path that included increased technical savvy and responsibility that didn’t have any sharp turns of an inflection point.

Now I am anticipating inflection points over the next 30 years. What might they be: the first arrival of the next generation (either grandchild or grandniece/nephew), moving to be close to family and living in a smaller space, not driving? Of course - there could be ones that involve injury, disease, and other loss. Those things are worth some contingency planning….but not too much focus.

 I’m too busy enjoying the present and anticipating the inflection points that I choose for my life.

Matriarch Beauty

Between the age of 20 years old and becoming a matriarch, some pretty significant changes take place. At 20 we probably all wanted to look a little older so that we would be taken seriously in our work and relationships. We wanted to be more than our teenaged selves. Now, as matriarchs, we want to look our age or younger. More importantly - we want to look and feel healthy. We want to have the stamina and energy to do what we want during the matriarch years of lives.

Does our perception of beauty in ourselves change over the years? Most of us become more self-confident. We grow into the best we will be. It is not denial to think that we are still beautiful; we likely do not look the same as we did at 20 since the beauty we have now is the story of our life shining from our eyes and from the patterns life has etched on our faces. What are the things that make you beautiful? 

• Your eyebrows arching over mischievous eyes?
• The expression on your face when you are listening to a grandchild?
• The laugh you share with your elderly parent?
• Daring to wear a bright scarf swirled around you on a cool day?
• The wave of your hair over dangly earrings? 

In our culture - the prevalent message is that the aging body is ‘not as beautiful’ as the 20 year old body. Realize that it is a matter of perspective and, as a matriarch, you have your own view that is likely at odds with the mass media on this and a many other issues. 

There may even be items on your ‘things that make you beautiful’ list that actually do look better now than they did when you were 20. For example - my fingernails at 20 were brittle and split easily (perhaps from the combination of fingernail polish and its removal). Now I let them grow naturally, shape them with an emery board as they grow, and buff them occasionally to give them a natural shine. They look better than they did when I was 20 years old! And I still wear rings I wore at 20 too!

Here’s to celebrating the beauty in ourselves at every age!

Matriarch - Changes in the Last 100 Years

There are many more matriarch women alive and healthy today than there were 100 years ago. How are we different from those matriarchs of 1913? 

• Many more of us have worked outside the home and farm for most of our adult lives….careers that were separate from family life although we were challenged to ‘balance’ work and life. In 1913, the dominate roles that women played were home based.
• When our children were young we often paid for child care or carefully planned our work for when they were in school rather than always being close to home. We may be more likely to provide day care for our grandchild than we did for our children. That may be something we have in common with the women in 1913 that survived until their matriarch years - that desire for a deep involvement with our grandchildren.
• Now we have our own money and property. In 1913, there were legal barriers to both. Women were dependent on their male relatives for just about everything. We have our own credit history and retirement plans now with both the responsibility and independence that comes with them.
• Women could not vote in 1913 in the US. Now the cohort of women matriarchs is vocal in many issues of the day. As women come to the phase of their lives where the frenzy children at home and career stress wanes, current issues get increased focus. Matriarchs vote at polling places and with purchases/contributions.
• Matriarchs are mobile now. Technology and legal/financial changes have made it easier for us to stay in touch with our family even if they are not living nearby. However, many of us would prefer living near our family just as the matriarchs of 1913 preferred.
• We spend less time with food than the matriarchs in 1913 did. We purchase most of our food rather than grow it. Technology development has given us refrigerators and microwaves. And we are much less formal at meal times. There is a common goal with the women in 1913 though: we want to eat good, well prepared food that helps us stay healthy.
• Another area where a lot has changed since 1913 is in reproductive health. One of the reasons there are so many more matriarchs today is the improvements in pre-natal and child birth care….and the advent of birth control. Women no longer have children until they die. We do have new worries for our sons and daughters about hormone mimicking pollutants impacts reproduction - which may guide us to look harder at how the way we live impacts the planet. 

A lot has changed for matriarchs in the past 100 years but a lot has stayed the same as well. We are women that have lived long enough to have a personal, well-developed philosophy of life. I apply mine by noticing something worth celebrating every day.

Low Sodium Diet Journey - Part 1

How hard is it to consume 2 grams or less of sodium per day? I started out thinking it would be difficult when a low sodium diet was recommended for one of my family members but it has been easier than I anticipated. This is the first post in a series that documents our family’s ‘learning experience.’ 

• Keep a running total of sodium consumption each day at the beginning. The purpose is to develop a good sense of the sodium content in various foods. Make changes to your normal diet so that it is easy to stay under the 2,000 mg per day goal.
• Use labels on packaging or the internet to get sodium amounts (per serving) for foods. I like http://nutritiondata.self.com/ - a clip of the screen from that site for ‘celery’ is below. Celery is one of the higher sodium vegetables.

• Experiment with no-salt blends (like Mrs. Dash) in lieu of salt. My favorite Mrs. Dash blend is Caribbean Citrus.
• ‘Hint of Salt’ crackers are tasty. We’ve tried Triscuit, Wheat Thins, and Ritz. Keep the portion size in mind!
• Generally - processed foods are high in sodium because they have a lot of added salt. Read labels carefully. Bottles salad dressings and ready-to-eat meats are almost always very high; develop alternatives for these in your diet.
• Buy salt free (i.e. 0 sodium) versions of products like butter/margarine and peanut butter. These are products that are available in most grocery stores. The flavor will be different but is often quite acceptable and even appealing.

The First of 2013

I did not stay up to celebrate the first minutes of 2013. I enjoy getting up to see the first sunrise instead (although it was cloudy so I took the picture at the left of wind chimes and winter trees at the time of 'sunrise').

New beginnings are so full of potential. Just as sunrise is a prompt to review the plan for the day, New Year’s day is a good prompt for writing some goals for the upcoming year. This year I am using a start - stop - continue grouping. I’ve learned over the years to include specific ways to measure the goal in the goal statement itself or as an associated note.  Here are some examples from my list for 2013.

Start 

• Losing the last few pounds to get down into the ‘normal’ range for my height by April 1.
• Upgrading landscaping and garden around the house by early summer

Stop 

• Drinking soft drinks (diet Pepsi is my downfall!)

Continue 

• Volunteering with the Friends of a local nature center (4-8 hours per week).
• Reading about even numbers of fiction - history - arts/social - technical books at about the same rate as previous years.
• Writing 3000 words per day when I am at home.
• Gardening in pots on the deck
• Using travel or hosting guests to break up the year.
  • Monthly visits to public gardens or conservatories
  • Tucson in the early spring
  • House guests in the early spring
  • South Carolina in the early summer
  • West Virginia in the fall