Thanksgiving 2013

Thanksgiving prompts me to think about:

• What I am thankful for
• Traditions 

Being Thankful

Thanksgiving Day is the annual prompt to take stock - to acknowledge and appreciate. Are the aspects of our lives for which we are thankful also the aspects that contribute to our feelings of happiness? For me - I think they are. And Thanksgiving Day 2013 finds me celebrating an abundance of good vibes:

Family (husband, daughter, parents, sisters, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins). Most of the family is far away this Thanksgiving but 2013 has been a better year than 2012 - the trend is good and I’m thankful for that.

Health. Feeling well enough to do all the things that make life wonderful ---- it’s not something I take for granted. I’m thankful.

Coursera. I am hooked on the many offerings from Coursera. It seems like I have 3 or 4 going almost all the time. The topics, quality of presentation, and cost (generally free) are all worth being thankful. It is one of the areas of technology that I appreciate without any reservations.

Volunteer work for Neighbor Ride and Howard Country Conservancy. I am thankful for non-profit organizations in my community that provide me with a meaningful way to give back to my community by volunteering. Somehow volunteering has more personal meaning than simply donating money.

Home. Every time I travel I realize how thankful I am to have a home to welcome me back. Coming back from Florida just a few days before Thanksgiving means that we are cleaning house first thing Thanksgiving Day…and then relaxing to have our feast.

Traditions

There are activities that are like clockwork this time of year

Three cobs of Indian corn are hung on the front door. They are over 5 years old but dried corn lasts a long time. I like the colors - the dark, muted colors of fall - against our dark green door.

Food

Brisket cooking in the crockpot. My husband does not like turkey so we cook something else that will result in a lot of left overs - a brisket. It totally fills the crockpot. Our big meal with be in the evening so I don’t have to get up in the middle of the night to start the main course like I did when we were eating the feast at midday.

Cranberry orange relish from the Wegmans recipe. This was a tradition started last year. I liked this relish so much that I’ll never make the old boiled cranberries in sugar recipe ever again.

Pumpkin custard and baked potatoes and cooked in the same oven. We always make custard rather than pie and, since our family is small, the custard goes into the oven 1.5 hours before meal time at 425 degrees Fahrenheit.  Then at 1.25 hours before meal time the potatoes go into the oven as it gets turned down to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. The custard is done about 0.5 hours before meal time and is taken out to cool.

Old videos. This is the new ‘tradition’ starting this year. We’re going to dig out 20 year old videos of our daughter as a young child - to recall a trip to Florida from that time in our lives and contrast the Florida of 2013. Next year we’ll look at some other old videos.

Pervious Thanksgiving posts 

• 2011
• 2012

Longwood Gardens Cannas - September 2013

Cannas have associations to people and places for me: 

• To my grandparent’s garden in Oklahoma in the ‘60s and ‘70s. They were the tall, luxuriant plants between the flower garden on the side facing the street and the vegetables on the other.
• To my parent’s garden now where some of the descendants of bulbs from my grandparent’s garden probably still grow - plus some other colors that have been purchased since.
• To my sister’s garden where they are now healthy again after a year of struggle with something that caused their large leaves to stick in the furled position. 

The variety of cannas at  Longwood Gardens - both in the Conservatory and outdoors - were good reminders. I’d not seen pink ones before. They were in the later part of their bloom cycle. The orange and yellow cannas were in their prime. I noticed when I looked at my photographs after I got home that I didn’t take any pictures of the red ones!

Sandwiched Matriarch

Are you a sandwiched matriarch - one with an elderly mother and a daughter in the stress of early or mid-career? I am. And I am celebrating that I can play the role of the luscious center to the sandwich. It’s exhilarating to realize that I can be the glue that mends whatever needs develop in the generation before and after my own.

Many women live into their 80s or 90s…and that means that their daughters are often in their 50s and 60s. Even a healthy elder requires more support from their children than they did when they were in their 60s and 70s. For example, my mother opted not to drive after her 80th birthday; it was a proactive decision on her part. My sisters and I supported the idea and its ramifications. We have also become much more knowledgeable about maneuvering through the health care system and support mechanisms for older people. The goal is to keep our mothers active and engage in our lives for as long as possible. I particularly enjoy the challenge to make the most of my mother’s current interest and physical ability to see things like the annual cherry blossoms around the Washington Monument and large museums. We need to learn to accept the sometimes rapid changes in older people as easily as we accept the growth of young children; we cannot let the relative stability of mid-life set the standard expectation as a person passes into their 80s and 90s. There has already been one instance when I was away from home for more than a month to help my mother through a difficult health issue.

I also have a career oriented daughter. She lives far away; phone calls and emails are not the same as seeing her in person. At least one vacation a year is planned around a time that I can spend some time with her. And the interaction will come much greater if she and her husband decide to have children. I’ve already committed to being close enough to be the child care provider so that my daughter can continue in her career. It’s an advantage I can give that benefits her and the next generation. I had my own career as she was growing up; the child care we employed for her was excellent - but I can do even better for her children and it is something I want to do.

The sandwiched matriarch gets pulled or squashed (a stressful time either way) if both mother and daughter have concurrent needs. That has not happened so far in my life….and I’ll just deal with it if and when it does.