Becoming 60 - Part IV

Through the end of the year - I’m writing one post a month about my thoughts on becoming 60. The theme for this month is my perception of conflict and happiness at this point in my life.

Conflict

I’ve read that many of us become less confrontational as we get older; there is a tendency to avoid conflict as much as possible. When I was in elementary school, I remember going on a family vacation and my grandparents agreeing with everything, always saying ‘whatever you want’ in response to a question about their preference. It was so different than my parents or my sisters or my own response to such questions that I noticed it and the episode stands out with clarity in my mind now. My grandparents would have been around 60 at the time. Why did they let everyone else decide what they wanted to do?

• Maybe they had decided that being on vacation with family was all that mattered - that what we actually did was of much lesser importance and it was really true that any of the choices would be equally enjoyable to them.
• Maybe they did have a preference but did not feel strongly enough about it to articulate it. All the choices were acceptable to them so they opted to let others choose.
• Maybe they felt overwhelmed by the choices - the place was new to them and they simply could not be comfortable choosing.

I never asked my grandparents about it later and they may not have even remembered the time as significant as it was in perception. I know that now that I am becoming 60 that I still make a lot of choices as I interact with other people but I also find myself being equally satisfied with several alternatives so it makes it easier for close relationships to move along with no conflict.

I am less tolerant of people that are very confrontational or are passive aggressive confrontational (seemingly agree, avoiding confrontation, and then do something completely different). During my career I was adept at diffusing conflicts of this type but I never enjoyed it. Not having to tolerate certain types of conflict may be the aspect of being post-career that I savor the most!

Happiness

A lot has been said about happiness - about how to measure it, about how people strive for happiness. At 60, what I want is not just ‘happiness’ - I want

• Meaning to living
• Comfort
• Good health
• Satisfaction
• New things to learn and experience
• Close family relationships
• Ability to contribute toward a better world
• Multiple paths into the future

There is probably more I will add to the list over time. I notice now that the things I put on the list are of longer duration than ‘happiness.’ Perhaps any emotion is too fleeting to be a goal. What if the only way we could achieve it 100% of the time was through modifying ourselves in some way….and would we still be human if we did?

Earlier posts:

Part I theme: The future looks bright

Part II theme: An interlude to choose the best for the rest of my life

Part III: Pleasures 

Gleanings of the Week Ending September 14, 2013

The items below were ‘the cream’ of the articles and websites I found this past week. Click on the light green text to look at the article.

World’s Largest LED Streetlight Retrofit Completed in Los Angeles - I wonder if the fixtures are also designed to direct light downward rather than in all directions. It would be wonderful to see the stars in the sky again!

Macrophotographs of insects - Don’t let the first picture deter you look at this article! There are some beautiful ones further down in the series….the dogbane beetle with iridescent red, yellow and green on its wings and blues and greens everywhere else…the leafhopper sharpshooter with its red body and white and black wings.

Edible Coatings for Ready-To-Eat Fresh Fruits and Vegetables - An overview of the coatings used to help fruits and vegetables retain freshness. They are edible…but some don’t sound very appealing. As for finding a coating that would work for sliced bananas - one of the appeals of bananas is that they are easy to peel and a good serving size. Their natural packaging is one of the reasons they are so popular!

Researchers’ Tweets Move Science Forward - A study of 116 marine scientists actively using Twitter. Does this translate to other disciplines?

University of Arizona Cooking on Campus (recipes) - There are some good ideas on this list. I tried the Mini Deep Dish Pizzas (made them in a muffin top pan rather than a regular muffin tin) and they were delicious. My daughter made the Quinoa Ratatouille and reported that it was a winner too.

Has the World Reached Peak Chicken? - As we become more health conscious, will be eat even more chicken? We tend to ignore the industrial treatment (or mistreatment) of the birds just as we do other domesticated animals. And what about the trend toward more heavily processed chicken? I always buy cut up parts these days but remember well the draw of chicken nuggets for children. Or will we have more veggie days?

This girl ages into an old woman before your eyes without you noticing - The video is just under 5 minutes and well worth viewing. The ‘old woman’ does not look that old to me. When I think ‘old’ I think of someone in their 90s.

Interlude in Pittsburgh - Lots of pictures from a trip to the Carnegie Museum of Natural History and the Cathedral of Learning. Brought back great memories of a road trip about 10 years ago when we used the Cathedral (like being at Hogwarts) as a stop before continuing down the highway.

State-by-State Guide to Taxes on Retirees - I’m always a little uncomfortable about these analyses and a particular segment of the population. Are the taxes ‘friendly’ to one group and not to others? For example - do states that are ‘friendly’ to retirees underfund education for children?

How do chameleons and other creatures change colour? - Chamelons and octopuses...some animals have the ability to make very rapid adjustments to their color.

World Happiness Report 2013 - The most recent addition was published this last week. The US is 17th in the world - just behind Mexico. The 6 variables that explain 75% of the variation in the national averages are: real GDP per capita, healthy life expectancy, having someone to count on, perceived freedom to make life choices, freedom from corruption, and generosity.

Gleanings of the Week Ending July 13, 2013

The items below were ‘the cream’ of the articles and websites I found this past week. Click on the light green text to look at the article.

Authentic Happiness - Start with the home page of the Director of the Positive Psychology Center at University of Pennsylvania and then look through the site for information and do some or all of the well-being questionnaires.

Urban Observatory - Compare various aspects (like population density, senior population, traffic, etc.) of three large cities (16 of the largest cities in the world to select from) by looking at them side by side.

Powerful African Wildlife Bursts out of lively Landscapes - Enjoy the art of Karen Laurence-Rowe from Kenya.

The Joy of Old Age (No Kidding) - Read Dr. Oliver Sacks thoughts on becoming 80 years old - his mercury (element 80) year.

Technology Foresight - Think about the ‘Futuresaurus’ timelines coming out of Imperial College technology foresight event and posted by Richard Watson on his blog. I was intrigues by the items projected to disappear.

Watch North American City Skylines Sprout In 3-D Video, From 1850 To Today - Cube Cities combined commercial real estate data with Google Earth to provide these videos of midtown Manhattan, Chicago, San Francisco, Calgary, Downtown Los Angeles, and Toronto,

A View from The Overlook: A Virginia Farmer - I could not resist adding this post about Mount Vernon from National Parks Traveler to this week’s gleanings. I enjoyed my visit to the place a few weeks ago.

Disruptions: How Driverless Cars Could Reshape Cities - I like the projections of driverless cars being available by the end of the decade!

Stanford students capture the flight of birds on very high-speed video - Watch the video - the birds are amazing. The high speed video provides a window into flight that we cannot get with our unaided eyes!

10 mindblowingly futuristic technologies that will appear by the 2030s - How many of these seem plausible to you? Back in the 1960s - many thought we’d have a colony on the moon by 2013. With technology, know-how is not the only requirement.