Longwood’s Indoor Children’s Garden

On a recent day at Longwood Gardens, I got to the conservatory early. Surprise! - There were no children in the Indoor Children’s Garden. Normally it is a very popular part of the conservatory and there is no easy way to photograph its features. The photographs in this post are the results of that little serendipity (and my most significant ‘celebration’ for the day!).

The garden was redesigned/upgraded several years ago. The conservatory had an area for children even 20 years ago that my daughter enjoyed; the things she liked the most have been doubled and redoubled in the new garden - lots of water for little hands, musical instruments, sculptures and mosaics…low ceilings and narrow stairways….all with a nature theme.

Ideal Mother

The story of the Indiana mother that saved her two children as her house collapsed around them from tornado winds has prompted me to think about the qualities that an ideal mother has.

1. Does whatever is needed to keep her children safe
2. Makes sure they are well feed (quantity and quality of food appropriate for their healthy growth and development)
3. Holds them when they need to be held
4. Knows when to let them decide or do it themselves
5. Supports their intellectual development by enabling them to satisfy their natural curiosity and presenting them with opportunities to expand their understanding of the world
6. Encourages increasing independence
7. Seeks medical or other expertise as needed
8. Emphasizes the importance of school and other preparation for adult life
9. Adapts to the individual needs of the child
10. Provides for basic physical needs like housing and clothing

This is not a complete list; it is just the first 10 things I thought of.  My perception is that almost every mother has the natural inclination to strive for the ideal and most of us have a very similar concept of what the ideal is although our ability to actually do it varies widely. Part of the ideal is probably instinctual - part of our human heritage. In the end, we want our children to become healthy and productive young adults and shift our parenthood focus more toward the friendship end of the spectrum of motherhood.

Isn’t it wonderful that in today’s world, there is a strong likelihood that we’ll know them for more years as adults than as children?

Quote of the Day - 2/18/2012

She awoke from long childhood in which she had always been protected and surrounded by attention and comforts, and not responsibilities. - Isabel Allende in The House of the Spirits: A Novel

~~~~~

Two thoughts on today’s quote: 

1. It is interesting that we associate childhood as a time without responsibility. Our laws embed the concept in our formal legal system. But having or not having responsibility is not a binary thing. It is more accurate if we think of a child’s growth as a continual path of increasing levels of responsibility. At some point a child becomes responsible for dressing themselves, putting food in their own mouth, completing a household chore, completing homework without prompting, getting their first job, etc. At what age do they cross a threshold that says they are no longer a child? Certainly when they are financially independent…but probably before and the use of age is a simplifying criteria for our legal system which may work on average but not for all individuals.
2. In the past, the optimum in our culture was for women to continue in a child-like state (i.e. without acknowledged responsibilities) for most of their lives. The things that they did were important to their families but were not appreciated by society as responsibilities. The quote reminds us of the awakening that happened for many women as that ideal began to crumble.

Personal Rhythms - Weekly

This blog item is the second in a series about the rhythms we choose for our lives. Today the topic is weekly rhythms.

~~~~~

There are activities that are generally done on a weekly basis…almost always associated with a particular day of the week. They serve as infrastructure to other activities so must be done sometime during the week although they can be moved to other days if necessary occasionally. The three that are nearly constant for me are:  

• House cleaning on Wednesdays
• Groceries shopping on Fridays
• Laundry on Saturdays 

If I make a batch of muffins, it is generally on Sunday. Visits to museums, galleries, or gardens are most often on Sunday afternoon.

For young children, it is worthwhile considering a weekly cycle to provide a bit of structure for activities that would become boring or overwhelming if they happened every day. The idea is to have a theme for the day that can be repeated in subsequent weeks. For example: 

• Family activity on Sundays
• Seasonal craft on Mondays
• Baking/cooking on Tuesday
• Painting/drawing on Wednesday
• Farm or other extended outdoor activity on Thursday
• Grocery shopping on Friday
• Music on Saturdays 

Think about the weekly rhythms most important to enable your life to move along the way you want. Are they firmly in place or ad hoc? Could they be honed to better meet your needs?

~~~~~

Last week, the post was about daily rhythms. I’ll post an item about annual rhythms next week and there will be a final post for rhythms that don’t quite fit into daily/weekly/monthly/annual cycles or the rhythm is set by a metric other than time.