Sustaining Elder Care – July 2024

A full month had passed since my visit to my father in June and I noticed that his situation seemed calmer this month although the staff at the assisted living home were stressed with acclimating 2 new residents and the further decline of another. It took them longer to answer the front doorbell on both of my visits, but on both days my dad’s room was clean, he was dressed in clean clothes, and he had just finished a meal.

Since I arrive in the afternoon, it was too hot for a walk outdoors. One of the staff members stopped by to tell me she had taken him in the morning just after breakfast. We finished a puzzle in the great room (he was very pleased since the easy parts had been done the day before and the remaining pieces were mostly the same color). Afterward we went into the back yard, and he sat in the shade while I watered the plants that my sister managed to transfer from his former home; they need to be watered daily in the hot Dallas summer; my mother’s miniature rose bush is blooming profusely. I put out his clothes for the next day. It seems 2 to 2.5 hours is the ideal duration for visits with him. When I left, he was going to take a nap.

The next morning, I got bitten by something (ants?) as I waited for a staff member to let me into the house (fortunately the welts disappeared quickly once I used my After Bite stick). The staff were evidently overwhelmed with helping another resident (or two); they left the door a little ajar so I could immediately take Dad for a walk. The temperature was still pleasant, and I was surprised at the pace Dad set; it is clear that he is walking regularly and had built up his stamina. We made it around the block in good time – but enough that whatever was keeping the staff busy had resolved by the time we got back. I encouraged my dad to drink some water and we started a new puzzle. It turned out to be harder than we anticipated, and we only got about 2/3 of the border done before we decided to take a break to water plants in the backyard. And he was worn out from those activities…ready for a nap before lunch!

My dad is visited by me or my sisters almost every day. We all put out clothes for him to wear the next day and (right now) water plants. If the weather permits, we take him for a walk. We work on a puzzle with him. There has been at least one instance where he has requested that a puzzle be framed for his wall – and participated in the process to get it ready for the frame. He seems to be settling into a comfortable pattern.

The newest challenge has been him getting cold and putting on a jacket when he is in his room. Evidently the thermostat for his part of the house is in the kitchen and when there is a lot of cooking happening there it gets hot enough to cause the air conditioner to come on. His room gets about 5 degrees cooler than the kitchen! The staff is aware of the issue and is monitor. We are also reminding him that it is warmer in the community room where the puzzle table and large recliners are located…but he seems to prefer the jacket and his room at least some of the time!

Previous Elder Care posts

Then and Now – Family

In the 1960s, I was growing up in a large extended family. My mother had 8 siblings and my father, an only child, was close to his cousins. Most of our traveling was to visit family. By the time I was in elementary school, my parents had a second car, and my mother took us to her parents’ home for a week or so during the summer to see the aunt and uncles…continuously growing number of cousins. I remember my grandfather’s construction projects that included a covered patio/carport with a very long table and bench overlooking a large elm where he’d fashioned a table and benches to fit neatly around its large trunk. We ate every meal aside from breakfast outdoors! There was also a large barbeque pit with a huge grill and an oven built into the chimney. He built a fountain of natural stone near the garden…the swimming pool was a little further away. Prior to the swimming pool being built, he often found a river suitable for swimming for all the aunts and cousins….and he would do some fishing. I enjoyed one-on-one time with my maternal grandmother at her work (she owned/ran the mill); I remember her writing letters to one of her daughters that lived far away over a few days before deciding it was long enough and sending it off.

 My paternal grandparents moved to live near us in the late 50s, so I saw them very frequently – lots of good food, gardening, crocheting, sewing, dominoes and checkers. We saw my dad’s extended family at gatherings held at his paternal aunt’s house. I remember my great aunt had hollyhocks beside her porch. We visited his maternal aunts (and grandmother) that lived in the same town. I associate my great-grandmother with chocolate covered graham crackers and her daughters with plants (my grandmother had a number of plants that she received originally from her sisters).

The food was always plentiful and included veggies from the garden. The paternal side of the family also cooked Czech desserts (kolaches!).

Now the family is significantly smaller. I have 3 sisters and am the only one that lives further away; only 1 of my sisters has children so the number of cousins is small. My husband had 2 sisters, but they are already gone as is his extended family. My sisters and I are transitioning from a relationship that has be very focused on caring for our parents over the past few years – not yet settled into a new normal without our mother. I am not close to my cousins although I have been seeing 3 of them more frequently at funerals recently…realizing that we have in common our adjustment to life after long-lived parents die.

I drive from my home in Missouri to visit my dad near Dallas once or twice a month in his assisted living home. My daughter goes with me sometimes. One sister visits him almost daily. The other two visit once or twice a week when they are town. I try to see at least one of them when I visit Dad. Two of them have visited us in Missouri. We text each other frequently – mostly keeping each other informed about what is happening with Dad. There are infrequent emails, phone calls, or zoom meeting. I enjoy my access to a frequently updated cloud folder of great nephew pictures. The way we keep in touch when we are not together has changed significantly since the 1960s!

Food had changed as well. We seem to all have foods we are avoiding now (and the problematic foods are not the same!)…and desserts are not something we want as frequently. We tend to go to a restaurant for special occasions more often then eating at home.

Previous Then and Now posts

Ten Little Celebrations – February 2024

I am always a little surprised at how easy it is to record something I celebrated every day…and how it is sometimes hard to pick the top 10 near the end of the month. The habit probably has helped me be more resilient to whatever is not going well….and appreciative of how fortunate I am.

A warm day to get the naked lady bulbs and iris rhizomes planted – Actually there were two Feburary days that were warm enough; I used one for planting in my yard and another for planting in my daughters.

Getting a full price offer on my Parents house – This was another double celebration since the offer and the closing happened in February.

Earl Grey tea – I seem to forget how much I like it…then celebrate rediscovering it.

Home again – After the many weeks away late in 2023, I find myself celebrating each and every time I arrive back home.

Out to lunch with my parents – I celebrated that they both were enthusiastic about going and that they ate well at the restaurant for lunch….and wanted their leftovers for dinner!

Snow suitable for patterns – Making patterns in the snow has been a treat this winter….celebrating my second attempt that benefited from my prior experience and the snow being wet (made the pattern I walked stand out more).

Pintails. I celebrated the picture of a pintail at Hagerman….one of my best so far this year.

Married life – Being married for over 51 years is something I often take for granted but, for some reason, I found myself celebrating more this month – that wasn’t even my annual anniversary. Having the long term relationship…a person that I know well, and that knows me well…is fundamental to the way I feel about just about everything else.

Port Aransas Whooping Crane Festival – Celebrating our first multi-day festival since COVID…more on our experiences in upcoming blog posts.

Parents’ house ready for new owner – Lots of coordination with my sisters…and physical work…celebrating that we got everything cleaned out before closing.

Last from my Parents’ House

The last work trip I made to empty storage areas from my parents’ house before the sale is finalized at the end of the month, was mostly about how to donate, reuse, or trash what was left. I did notice that the Japanese quince was starting to bloom. My mother’s favorite color was orange when I was growing up; the color of the flowers is probably why the bush was purchased…why my mother cut the early blooms to bring indoors.  

View fullsize

View fullsize

As I cleaned out the storage areas there were only a few items I decided I could reuse. One was a very large clip board (shown with a standard sized clipboard for comparison). There were two of them. I chose to take the one that had remnants of paint around the edges; one of my sisters took the other. I assume my mother used it when she was taking art classes at the local community college, but she doesn’t remember the large clip boards at all.

There were 4 pieces of Masonite in the pile of wood that we were putting at the curb for pickup (the city does curbside pickups on Friday in their area…but often the items are picked up by others and taken away before the city trucks come). The pieces were lighter in color than the clipboard; I decided they would work as Zentangle tiles…that could be hung together or separately.

Another find – covered with dust – were some vertical blinds. At first, we thought they might be from the window treatment in my dad’s old office – but the ones there are very different. I opted to take them to use as Zentangle tiles as well – probably using the smooth side rather than the textured. They have a hole in the top that makes them easy to hang from a nail (maybe a decorative one).

Now I have taken the moving blankets out of my car; they worked well for all my trips to Carrollton in January and the first weeks of February. The house and storage areas are empty. My parents’ house is ready for a new owner.

An Empty House

A familiar house looks so different when the people and furniture are missing. That has happened to my parents’ house. The view of the garden through the sliding glass door is the same but there is no travel chair that my mother found convenient to move her position with the sun.

The sunlight coming through the windows of a bedroom and shines on a bare wall that would have recently held large pictures and the headboard of a king-size bed.

Some of decorative touches added over 33 years ago by the previous owner are still intact….a part of the house that stays. They seem more obvious with so much else gone.

The house will likely change a lot with the new owner; it will be renovated and resold…sparkling in new way…for a new family. We take the memories with us, leaving the house behind.

My Parents’ House

Once the decision was made in mid-December with my parents to move to an assisted living group home, I found myself examining the house that that had called home for more than 30 years – the last home they would own…the only one that didn’t still have a mortgage when they moved. The contents documented the whole of their lives.

The creation of the garden room not long after they moved into the house was a project that added more than space to the house.

The space was lined with house plants (some that had grown quite large) and had great light. The jigsaw puzzle table was there…a rocker and glide…and a transport chair that was easily maneuvered into a sunny spot to observe birds outside at the feeder or read the paper. The glide, puzzle table, and transport chair were moved to the assisted living group home.

View fullsize

The large plant in the foreground of the picture with the transport chair is one that grew up into the skylight of the garden room over the decades. My sister had brought it home from her work when an office closed. It bloomed in December (something it had done rarely over the years)…to the joy of my parents and the whole family. My sister has now managed to move it (in a U-Haul truck) to her house about an hour away; we were all relieved that it survived the trek intact.

View fullsize

View fullsize

A clay pot that another sister made was in the corner of my parents bedroom holding a collection of peacock feathers and dried seed pod/flowers….a suncatcher. My mother selected it as something to move with her – perhaps because of the memories of each item and the vase itself. Peacock feathers are special in my family because my maternal grandparents kept peacocks in their later years.

Back in the garden room a small poinsettia purchased recently sat on the windowsill. The second image is my favorite artsy image of December 2023! The pot was small enough for the windowsill at the assisted living group home so it moved with my parents.

We are now in the phase of sifted though everything in the house….taking a little more to my parents, distributing items to family members and my parents’ friends, donating some items….recycling and trash are the last resort. There are ups and downs to the work. It is giving us time to internalize the pivot point in my parents’ lives (and our own).

Ramping up Elder Care – January 2024

A lot has happened since I wrote the December chapter of ‘Ramping up Elder Care.’ The assisted living group home we initially found ended up not having space…so we looked at several others and settled on one that was probably better than the one we found in their neighborhood in every way but the location. When we took our parents to see their new home the day before the move, one was optimistic…the other one was silent but attentive.

The focused activity was intense to get them moved just before the end of 2023. Our strategy to have a night time caregiver in their home during December and then move them to assisted living worked….but it was more challenging that we anticipated.

• The nightly caregivers were not consistent; we had over 5 people that handled the overnight shift during the month. Almost all of them slept for part of the night. One was very talkative. One was not very helpful. One got sick and had to leave early.

• We opted to have two rooms for them in the assisted living group home – one for sleeping and the other for a private living room. It seems to be working well – better than having one larger room. There are 6 other people living in the assisted living group home.

• Our parents had a lot of clothes that had accumulated over the years. Some no longer fit but one of them insisted that most were moved to assisted living.

• There were a lot of toiletries. We opted to not take any that had dust on them! It was a harder than expected job to pack up what they would need.

• My dad had to transition from a safety razor to an electric….which he hated.

• My mother only began to stabilize on her meds toward the end of the month. For a few days we thought we might have to continue to give her two of her medications rather than transitioning those medications to the assisted living facility staff but it stabilized just before the big move. Physically, she made progress with the help of an excellent occupational therapist and the suggestion from a physical therapist to try massage boots for the edema in her feet and lower legs (OK’d by her vascular surgeon)

• We celebrated their 71st wedding anniversary with special visits from family members and great food for the whole week before the move. It was joyous…but also stressful to get the visits scheduled at good times for everyone and to eat all the excellent leftovers!

• One sister handled financies, another handled medical transition, another focused on evaluating what would need to be done with the contents of the house and sheds; I focused on my parents’ needs since I was in the house with them those last few weeks. Everyone helped pack up what needed to go on moving day….and it was still chaotic and stressful.

• In retrospect…moving on the Friday before a holiday weekend was not the best decision because the staffing at the assisted living was reduced over the weekend and they had no time to learn to supply thickened liquids required by one of our parents (so we ended up supplying them for the weekend).

And now, as I write this, I am home in Missouri….monitoring via the cameras we’ve installed in their rooms at the assisted living but otherwise trying not to interfere as they get acclimated to their new surroundings.

The next stage is getting their house ready to sell. I’ll be back in Carrollton in mid-January for that project; hopefully I’ll be rested and ready to work by then! And my parents will be adjusted to the big move from their home to the assisted living group home.

Previous posts: November 2023, November 2023 update, December 2023

Last Sunrise of 2023

I was in my parents’ house alone on the last day of 2023. They had already moved to assisted living (more on that in the monthly ‘ramping up elder care’ post coming soon) and the first round of distribution of the furniture had occurred: to their new home, to the rest of the family. It felt odd to be there without them and without the jumble of possessions that had been there for over 30 years. The beauty of the sunrise changed the trajectory of my mood for the better!

I loved the color caught in the line of trees visible from the backyard. I took several zoomed images. I think the last one is my favorite.

It occurred to me that the prettiest sunrises are not the ones the occur on a clear morning…it takes some clouds to catch/reflect the light. Maybe that is a good analogy for life too – that complexity and challenge make life better!

Ten Little Celebrations – December 2023

December has been one of the most unusual (and stressful) of my life. Along with all the upheaval – there were still little celebrations to notice and savor.

Completion of a construction project. Big machinery digging in the street/sidewalk, the alleyway, and backyard of my parents house. The city was replacing an old sewer pipe. It was interesting to watch…although there were a few anxious moments too. We all celebrated when they finished within the 3 days they’d estimated for the project!

A warm day to mow the leaves. The leaves didn’t really begin to fall in Carrollton TX until December. We celebrated a warm day to mow them into the yard.

Crystalized ginger, big peppermint sticks. I savored special foods from the past that I haven’t eaten as much in recent years. I bought the crystalized ginger and a sister provided 6 of the big barber pole peppermint sticks. I started the celebration of my birthday early!

Red velvet cake. When I was growing up, my usual birthday cake was red velvet cake – made by my mother. This year one of sisters and her husband discovered a diner that had an excellent version of the cake – and bought me two pieces – which I enjoyed 2 days in a row prior to the actual birthday!

A break. My other sister came to make lunch for my parents and I took a break away from my parents’ house. I went to a small café for brunch and they had a special: birthday pancakes! I opted to get that special (another early birthday celebration) and thoroughly enjoyed it. Then I walked (and took pictures of birds) around Josey Ranch.

December celebrations. My birthday is just one of the normal December celebrations in my family. There is also my parents’ anniversary (their 71st) and Christmas! It’s always a hectic month…full of family visits.

Good sleep. I usually sleep well but it has not been as consistent this month….so I celebrated a particularly good night!

Fall foliage of crape myrtles. I’d never noticed crape mytles in the fall before. At my parents the conditions must have been just right for them to turn from green and hold their leaves this year. I celebrated how great they looked with the leaves and seed pods.  

Finding assisted living. Change is hard. We had moments of discovery and panic…celebrated finding an assisted living group home for my parents and then realizing that the details required another burst of energy. As I write this we are all celebrating how much we have accomplished with our combined efforts.

Daughter arriving. My daughter came for my birthday and the anniversary. She took me out for Ethiopian food to celebrate my birthday!

December 2023….what a cresendo for the year!

Ramping up Elder Care – December 2024

My parent came home from the hospital the Wednesday before Thanksgiving...still requiring a lot of care at night which fell to me since I was staying in their house. Both me and my sister remained almost as sleep deprived as when we were alternating 24-hour stints at the hospital! We quickly realized that the strategy that had worked for the caring of our 90+ year old parents over the past few years was not going to work going forward…and the ‘new normal’ we had scrambled to established could not be sustained.

Even sleep deprived – I acknowledged there were magical moments and the joy of not being in the hospital anymore. I appreciated little things like the gentle glow of warm-colored night lights and the full moon shining through a skylight…and every bit of fractured sleep I could get.

Even sleep deprived – I acknowledged there were magical moments and the joy of not being in the hospital anymore. I appreciated little things like the gentle glow of warm-colored night lights and the full moon shining through a skylight…and every bit of fractured sleep I could get.

Before the hospitalization I had made appointments to interview companies that provide in-home caregivers and to visit an assisted living group home. We managed to keep those appointments and decided to contract for a caregiver at night for the month of December; that relieved our sleep deprivation and gave us a few weeks to decide on the ‘next step.’

Our experience with caregivers has been mostly positive but we quickly realized that there would be at least 3 people involved to cover the 7 days each week. So far 2 have not worked out: one that slept through most of the night and another that one parent disliked (strongly). We realized that the care givers rarely work with their peers (so no cross training or collaboration on unusual situations) and supervision was not apparent. The role of the company they work for seems to be primarily scheduling of services. And the services are expensive.

It has enables us to sleep through the night but the days have been fraught with home health appointmentss (nurse visits, physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, virtual doctor visits). There have been two medication changes – both with positive results. My sister and I have gotten very efficient at preparing thickened liquids and appropriately elevating the hospital bed to avoid aspiration of fluid in the lungs of our parent that was hospitalized. Other upheavals have piled on too: Carrollton’s replacement of a sewer line at the edge of the property, a plumbing problem that caused the only bathroom in the house with a door wide enough for a walker to get through to be unusable for about 24 hours, required fall yard maintenance, Thanksgiving celebration…and preparation for Christmas. There is always something that needs to be done that we can’t quite find time to do.

We researched assisted living options…at first thinking that they would be a back up plan but deciding that they should be the 1st choice based on our experience by early December and that the form that would probably be more suited for my parents would be a group home rather than a larger facility. We found one that had been created in a renovated house in their neighborhood for 6 people. We visited the facility and liked it. They had 1 opening at the time. Then they told us that there would be a second opening by the end of December (one of the residents being moved to a facility with a higher level of care) and that the largest room (the one that had been the master bedroom in the original house) was going to be available. We started the application process.

The initial discussion about assisted living and the specific place we were looking at seriously went as expected. One agreed to keep an open mind…the other had a visceral reaction and didn’t want to consider any other option than staying in the house they have lived in for 33 years. We scheduled a visit to the assisted living home…hoping that we could encourage both  parents to be in information gathering mode and ask a lot of questions.

The day of the tour arrived…one parent had already decided that assisted living was the way to go, the other was still thinking it was not. Neither asked questions on the tour but looked around eagerly. One was completely exhausted by the outing but confirmed their idea that moving was best. The other became convinced (and upset) that they were going to be losing the house they called home for 33 years and moving to the assisted living place.

We are proceeding with the process toward assisted living. There are many ways that it could fall apart…but as I write this post we are on track…planning to make the move in January.

Stay tuned for our continuing journey ramping up elder care….

Previous posts: November 2023, November 2023 update

Ten Little Celebrations – November 2023

November has been a more emotional month that usual…there are some little celebrations on my list for the month that seem normal….but others that reflect the rapid changes occurring with one of my parents.

90+ birthday. Both of my parents are approaching their mid-90s and my family tries to celebrate each birthday (realizing that it could be the last). The one that happened in November was celebrated over 3 days to avoid exhausting them both. I got to be there for all three days since I stay in their home when I am in Carrollton.

Birds at the feeder (after we unclogged them). I unclogged bird feeders at both Carrollton and my home in Missouri…celebrated when the birds quickly discovered that the seed was available again.

A cool sunny day. I had grass and leaves to mow…celebrated the sunny afternoon that was not too cold for the activity. It was one of the most enjoyable mowing experiences of the season!

Twigs burned/millet planted. I had other yard work to accomplish as part of fall clean up in my yard and there was an excellent day to get it done. I burned the accumulated twigs (savoring the heat produced) and put the millet seed heads in strategic places so that (maybe) plants will grow next summer. My husband helped me store all the tools that had been out under the deck for quick access during the summer. We both celebrated the completion of our preparations for winter.

A good nap today. I drove from Missouri to Carrollton the day after my parent entered the hospital and immediately went to the hospital to stay with them overnight. My sister arrived the next morning to spend the next 24 hours helping the parent in the hospitals and I managed to drive to my parents’ house….and celebrated another sister being there to fix lunch so that I could nap. I went completely to sleep…got a full 90 minute sleep cycle in 100 minutes….celebrated feeling so much better afterward.

Bluebird at Josey Ranch. Seeing the bluebird at Josey Ranch was a boost to my mental outlook. I celebrated that I was savvy enough to know that nature often does that for me…and to stop at Josey Ranch on my way from the hospital to my parents’ house.

A parent coming home from the hospital. The sunrise I noticed at the hospital was a good start on the day my parent was projected to come home from the hospital. I celebrated the beauty at the beginning of the day…glad that the homecoming occurred later in the day.

The home health nurse coming for a 1st visit. I celebrated that we got a visit from the home health nurse on the Friday after Thanksgiving (i.e. we didn’t have to wait for the week after Thanksgiving)!

The time I have with my parents now….being in the present. I celebrate the time I am having with both parents now. Appreciating joys in every day shared with them.

Thanksgiving. The holiday was very different this year. I spent it with my parents and having various family bring special foods throughout the weekend rather than one huge meal. Gratitude is integrated with all my other emotions right now…and I celebrate that it is. It makes everything else easier.

Ramping up Elder Care – November 2023

My sisters and I realized earlier this month that we need to ramp up the support provided to my parents and the needs were quickly going to exceed what the 4 of us could provide. We had tweaked the situation over the past few years in significant ways: they no long drove themselves, their doctor/labs were mostly done in their home, one of us was with them every day providing at least one meal and their refrigerator/pantry was kept well stocked, there was always a pile of jigsaw puzzles, my dad carried a smartphone on his rambling walks so we could locate him (fortunately he never got lost), they both wore fall necklaces, and we set up a voice activated system for reminders/calls for help. They might not need someone with them 24/7…but we are seeing that it might not be that long before they do.

And so – a new adventure begins…

Our first action was to contact their doctor for a virtual meeting about ‘improving support to our parents.’ The doctor also brought a social worker to the meeting. We documented our observations…why we thought more was needed. It was a very productive meeting with some things we could do immediately (like adding some cameras to the home) and a list of services available in the community.

We started with the idea that we wanted to keep them in their own home with support from private care providers to supplement what we do but quickly realized that we should explore assisted living (particularly small, home-like facilities) as well.

Stay tuned for what we learn over the next month!

Gleanings of the Week Ending October 1, 2022

The items below were ‘the cream’ of the articles and websites I found this past week. Click on the light green text to look at the article.

What is the right age to get a smartphone? – No set answer or surprises in this article. I was a little disappointed but maybe the answer will always start out with “it depends….”

Air pollution might spur irregular heart rhythms in healthy teens – Air quality is important for everyone…not new news, but this study has supporting data for a segment of the population we generally think are very healthy.

A rapid shift to clean energy would save the world $12 trillion – I wish I was more confident that the people of the world have the will to save the planet (and ourselves).

Seven healthy lifestyles may reduce dementia risk for people with diabetes – Getting all 7 might be hard….but the 5 or 6 out the 7 should be something everyone can do.

Cool and Overlooked Critters of the Sagebrush Sea – Someone commented that they had driven across Kansas once and it was such a long slog that they didn’t want to do it again. This article reminded me that learning to look at unfamiliar places is a challenge…one we should consciously accept!

Daily multivitamin may improve cognition and possibly protect against decline – Easy to do!

Why you need a 'wellbeing wardrobe' – Most of my clothes are over a decade old and some were bought from a thrift store. I wear them until they are worn out and then I turn them into other things, compost them (if they a compostable fiber) or donate them (hoping that they can be sold or recycled). My sister commented that she was saving jeans to make a quilt. There are some items that seem to last longer than they did in the 70s (I remember inexpensive underwear and panty hose that were rarely worn more than a few times). Since I don’t buy many new clothes, I wondered about the demographics of who is buying so much clothing…and then trashing it so quickly.

Older adults with regular activity routines are happier and do better on cognitive tests – Picked up a vocabulary word from this article: zeitgebers – time cues which help set the body’s internal clock and can also assist in creating a stable routine. Some examples of zeitgebers are sunlight, exercise and eating…pets that require certain kinds of attention at about the same time each day.

Why plastic doesn't dry in the dishwasher – A little physics. I’ve noticed that we are using less plastic these days…more ceramic, glass, and metal. The last change was the containers we use for leftovers; I’ve gradually been replacing plastic with glass containers. My popcorn bowl (that I use in the microwave) is still plastic…but that’s about it.

Meet the Bat Falcon, the ABA Area’s Newest Bird – About the bat falcon, the ABA checklist and its importance to birders chasing a Big Year.

Ten Little Celebrations – September 2022

The 10 celebrations I am featuring in the September 2022 of this monthly post are about foods and health and getting things done. There is also a lot to celebrate about the outdoors this time of year.

Frito pie. I have discovered Dickey’s Frito Pie with brisket, beans, and cheese. It is packed with the Fritos in their own bag for takeout….and I like it without the Fritos! It’s a good thing for me to get when my husband is hungry for a barbeque sandwich…celebrating that the barbeque places where we live now are much better than the ones convenient to us in Maryland.

A birthday. We celebrated by daughter’s birthday. I was chagrined that ice cream cakes are harder to find these days, but she said she wanted ice cream sandwiches…and those were easy to purchase!

Getting the flu and COVID vaccine. I celebrated that the shots were available in time for me to get the shots early enough for them to protect me during my upcoming travel.  

Legal updates completed. My sister and I collaborated to get my parents legal documents updated according to their wishes….and celebrated the completed milestone.

Rings of Power series. I don’t watch much television but I am enjoying the Rings of Power….celebrating the quality of the production and seeing more of Tolkien’s world.

Our large wind chimes. My office is situated where I can hear the wind chimes on breezy days…I celebrate their sound and the memory of when we bought them too.

Poke weeds. Yes – they are weeds…but they are native, and they do produce berries that birds eat. I celebrate that I have several plants that out of the way in my landscaping so I can leave them rather than battling them all through the season.

Springfield Botanical Garden. I find something to celebrate every time I go! This time there were lots of insects to photograph.

View fullsize

View fullsize

View fullsize

Spider Lilies. I don’t know how I missed the orange spider lilies in my parents’ garden in previous years…but I was there at the right time this year to see them!

Great weather for being outdoors. There were still some hot days but as the month progressed, I celebrated some cooler temperatures….the ease of getting outdoors without being concerned of high heat or poor air quality.

Unique Aspects of Days – September 2022

The unique aspects for September….

Queen Elizabeth II died. The event is something that will be memorable about 2022. Her coronation was in the year I was born...she was the only well-known person I can think of that was on the international stage for that long period. Closer to home – her death accompanies the older generation of my family ebbing away. I am fortunate that both my parents are still around.

Making a quick run to Walmart for coffee. My dad makes coffee every morning and had somehow forgotten to tell anyone that there was not enough left in the container to make another pot. If I had not been visiting…they just would not have had any morning coffee that day!

Murmuration of pigeons over the Walmart parking lot. Somehow lots of pigeons were on the Walmart parking lot…and they flew up in a big swirl when they were startled by something (maybe a car?) and they did the usual turning in unison….the undulating ebbs and flows in the air. It seemed like they stayed a loft longer than required to escape danger and I wondered if the birds enjoy the ‘dancing’ in the sky.  

Talking with a man hauling hay at the gas station. I stopped to buy gas at a very large gas station just off the highway and a man with a trailer full of the round bales of hay pulled up on the other side of the pump. We had a short conversation and l learned: he is getting $60/bale rather than $30 he got last year, his fields are Johnson grass and cows like that kind of hay, this haul was from the 3rd mowing.

A upside down truck on the highway. The only time I got on the highway once I was in Carrollton, there was an upside truck on the other side….traffic just beginning to back up. It wasn’t obvious how the accident occurred; the truck was against the dividing wall that kept it from crossing over to the other side of the highway. I came back an hour later and could see that the truck was still there (upside down), but a crane has been brought in….and it was rush hour. Fortunately, I was already at my exit and the backup only slowed me down for about 5 minutes.

Rats. My parents had their house treated for rats. Insulation in the attic was replaced and holes in the eaves were sealed. There is a 10-year warranty. Hopefully this is a truly unique experience.

Grilling when it was windy. We didn’t use our gas grill when it was windy at our Maryland house, but we discovered that the house does a reasonable job of blocking the wind at our Missouri house….another reason to like our new location/house.

Laundered/dried our pillows in our new appliances. We don’t launder pillows frequently…and this was the 1st with our new washer and drier. We discovered that the sensor in the drier thought they were dry when they were dry on the outside…but not on the inside. We had to manually run the drier again….but the process was still faster than with our older appliances.

Bakery bread. I have started looking at the list of ingredients for breads…and buying ones where the ingredients are about the same as for homemade bread. It seems like commercial breads have a long ingredient list. I’m finding that the bakery breads with the shorter list taste great and are easier for me to digest.

A third COVID booster. My husband and I got the 3rd COVID booster along with a flu shot (one in each arm). I had more side effects (sore arm, aches) with this 3rd shot than I did the second…but they only were bothersome for about 24 hours and were completely gone in 48.

90 Years

Both of my parents are 90 years old this year. I’ve been thinking about the events of their lives and what has happened in the world during their lifetimes.

Their lives began during the Great Depression. They were both born at home; both families were living in rural Oklahoma and grew most of their own food. They were too young to fully realize the stress around the country…secure with their family and small rural community.

Their school memories are from the 1940s --- the World War II era. Their fathers were too old to go to war so the impact of the war on their families was indirect…primarily the rationing programs. Both went to schools where there was only a small cohort at each grade level. Later in their lives they attended high school reunions occassionally – keeping in touch with that small group that had mostly scattered across the country.

They were in college in the early 1950s – the boom years with the GI Bill funding returning veterans and college being encouraged for those just graduating from high school. My parents were ‘first generation’ to college for their families. They married, left the farm, and had 3 of their 4 children during the decade. My dad’s career stayed related to agriculture initially – at first requiring a lot of traveling and then into management of grain storage.

By the 1960s, they were in Texas living in a small city…children in public schools, living in an air-conditioned house (an important thing in the Texas summer). The big health improvement was the availability of the polio vaccine (we all got the vaccine via sugar cubes at school) and the waning of smallpox around the world even though we were still required to get updated vaccines when we traveled to Mexico.  In the mid-60s my mother returned to college for a degree in education…a career she started in the 1970s. My dad’s parents moved from Oklahoma to the same small city in Texas.

In the early 1970s, they moved to a suburb of a big city. They bought a house that accommodated the whole family, including my dad’s parents. My dad had transitioned completely from an agriculture related career to financial management and planning. My mother was teaching. All 4 of their daughters graduated from high school and went to Texas colleges (the last one just starting at the end of the decade). One daughter got married. My parents’ fathers died during the decade. Somehow everyone managed to stay ahead of inflation and pay mortgages that were high interest compared to today.

The 1980s were a very busy decade with careers of the whole family in high gear. My father was coming adept at digital spreadsheets…my mother was focused on reading for students in upper elementary and middle school. The youngest daughter graduated from college. One daughter (me) moved halfway across the country to the east coast and two others got married. My maternal grandmother died. Toward the end of the decade, the first two grandchildren were born.

In the 1990’s, my parents retired from their careers; they travelled and took care of grandchildren and helped with home maintenance (a total of 5 houses in the family!). Three more grandchildren were born, and the older ones started school.

Similar activities continued in the 2000s changing as the grandchildren got older…the oldest ones starting college.

In the 2010s, travel and engagement with family continued in a similar way for the first part of the decade; by the middle of the decade someone else was doing the driving on road trips and they stopped driving completely by the end of the decade. My paternal grandmother died; she had been living in the same house with my parents since the 1970s. Health challenges began to emerge for both parents…intermittent at first and then slowing them down in the last years of the decade. They both benefited from cataract surgery. Other surgeries and injuries required more recovery time…and sometimes recovery was not complete.

The last road trip was for Thanksgiving in 2019…to be with a grandchild. Not long afterward the COVID-19 pandemic locked down travel and they discovered the comfort of ‘stay at home as much as possible.’ Recently they have transitioned to primary care practice that comes to their home for checkups, blood work and most other health needs. Their children and grandchildren come to them now. If they leave their home, it is a very special event. Four of their five grandchildren have college degrees – one has an MD…another a PhD. There aren’t any great-grandchildren – yet.

So many changes have occurred since they were born. Electricity and indoor plumbing were just beginning to be available on farms when they were born. They bought their first air-conditioned home in the early 1960s. Computers came along in the 1980s.

And now – my sisters and I are thankful they are still with us – still enjoying living independently in their home with support from the family, neighbors, doctors, and house cleaners – getting close to celebrating 70 years of married life.