Ten Little Celebrations – March 2024

/

Picking 10 little celebrations is only challenging because there are so many of them to choose from! I help myself by only noting one each day, but I realize when I look at the list at the end of the month that there are even more, in retrospect, worthy of celebration. Here are the top 10 for March 2024.

My mother’s life. The phrase ‘celebration of life’ is more like a savoring because there is an overlay of grief that is part of every gathering after a death. I stayed focused on making sure that someone was with my dad for the duration and providing narration of the images in the slideshow for him…varying what I said a bit each time it repeated and realizing that she had a very full 92 years!

Getting the check deposited after the sale of my parents’ house. What a relief to not be carrying around a big check!

Home again. I made multiple short trips to Dallas for various reasons and was always very glad to be home again. Even though the time away is only a couple of days, the stress of driving, my task while in Dallas, and staying in a hotel takes a toll. I don’t really relax until I am at home. Hopefully, when I am only going down to see my dad, it will not be as stressful.

Sequiota Cave Boat tour. What a great tour. I liked the non-commercial nature the tour…seeing the tiny bats roosting.

Springfield Botanical Gardens. Full of spring blooming trees.

Dickerson Park Zoo. My daughter gave us a membership for Christmas, so we’ll be enjoying the zoo often over the next year. I liked the roaming peacocks (and other things too). The post about this visit is coming day after tomorrow.

Feeling better. I got sick with something that caused sinus and throat problems. I tested for COVID for 3 days…and was negative for that. And then I recovered rapidly and I celebrated. Also celebrated that my husband did get whatever it was.

Creating more hosta locations. I divided some of my hosta plants as they first began to come up and was pleased that the new plants adjusted very quickly to their new space. I am looking forward to their lush growth this summer…and will divide more plants next spring!

Burning sticks. I enjoyed the fire in my chiminea after cleaning up the small branches and pine cones around my yard….celebrating with some pictures of the fire!

Butterfly and pollinator seeds planted. I celebrated getting the beds prepared and the seeds planted…right at the mid-March suggested planting deadline.

Ramping up Elder Care – March 2024 (1)

/

A lot has happened in the last few weeks, so I am going to write 2 ‘ramping up elder care’ posts in March. In my mid-February post, I wrote “Are we through the bend…or is more to come before we settle into the new normal?” We were already getting accustomed to my parents’ house being sold…but we were also anxious with my dad testing positive for COVID. My mother tested positive a few days after he did….and died suddenly  few days later after being in the hospital for about 2 hours. So - the bend in my family’s collective life path is continuing into March.

My mother’s funeral was on the 1st. Dad was pleased with his appearance for the funeral; one of the assisted living staff helped him get into his suit (which he had not worn for a few years --- the last time was to a granddaughter’s wedding)…found another shirt so the neck would button and he could wear a tie! My sisters and I alternated being with him during the visitation and service. He seemed to enjoy my slide-by-slide narration of the pictures of Mother’s life from a young child to a few days before she died at 92. He also liked the limo. He did not like seeing Mother in the casket…thought it didn’t look like her even though he acknowledged that it was. He looked a few times then seemed to prefer watching the slideshow.

 My dad is grieving but very engaged with the reconfiguration of his living area at the assisted living group home. We started setting expectations a few days before the funeral so he would not be surprised when the furniture moves started to happen and it helped him internalize that mother was not coming back. The bed my mother has been using was one provided by the assisted living home and it was removed while we were at the funeral. We were all relieved that he didn’t seem traumatized that it was gone.   He is talking more than usual (he previously has always deferred to mother) ….and is more opinionated about how he would like things arranged. My sisters and I are spending more time with him, and the staff is very helpful. The staff has figured out that a small serving of ice cream is a great treat for him…and smooths out rough emotional times. So far – he seems to be surprising us with how well he is navigating his ‘new normal’ without his partner for over 71 years.

My dad’s reactions have been so positive that my sisters and I have already cleared away most of my mother’s belongings. It was a good time for us to talk to each other and him….noting some of the clothes she had worn for years…and others that were almost new…and trying out ideas for where furniture would be moved.

I don’t know for sure that we are at a new normal yet. We are with him more than usual…just to be sure he is OK. So far…he seems to be.

A few last pictures from my parents back yard the day before we closed on the 28th:

One of the neighbors asked the new owner if he could cut the narcissus and daffodil flowers from the yard to bring to the funeral….and the new owner said yes!

One of the neighbors asked the new owner if he could cut the narcissus and daffodil flowers from the yard to bring to the funeral….and the new owner said yes!

Previous posts: November 2023, November 2023 update, December 2023, January 2024, February 2024

Zentangle® – February 2024

/

February was a stressful month. The pile of tiles I selected these 29 from was finished before the death of my mother. At the end of March….I’ll look at what might be different about the before and after tiles. As I write this post, I am still in the stage of being preoccupied and cycling through various stages of grief; when I think I have reached  level of acceptance, I find myself thinking ‘oh mom would enjoy hearing/seeing this’ before I consciously remind myself that she is gone; I am realizing that my subconscious is churning away and interfering with my ability to focus too.

The square tiles this month are made on the usual neon colored card stock. Most of the time I can make patterns on both sides of the tile…unless I use the thicker pens and the color bleeds through.

The rectangular tiles are a mix of recycled light weight cardboard from cat food boxes (light brown), the wider tiles that are textured stationery from my dad’s business over 30 years ago that I found in his office when we cleaned it out, and the pale yellow/green 3x5 cards are also from his office (he carried them in his shirt pocket for notes….and then stopped about 5 years ago).

The past few months have re-enforced my self-knowledge that making a Zentangle tile (or two or three…) every day helps me through stressful times.

--

The Zentangle® Method is an easy-to-learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. It was created by Rick Roberts and Maria Thomas. “Zentangle” is a registered trademark of Zentangle, Inc. Learn more at zentangle.com.

Death of my Mother

/

My mother died a little over a week ago. She was in her 90s and frail…had survived some significant health challenges over the last decade; I thought I had internalized that her death could happen at any time, but it surprised me. It happened very quickly.

My thoughts are still jumping all over the place…

I am savoring the last times I saw her a little over a week before her death – taking her and my dad out to lunch at a new restaurant, talking to them while they ate breakfast the next morning. She had gotten her hair cut and styled by the woman that had done it for the over 40 years recently and was looking great. They both seemed happy. Good times!

One of my sisters cut some of the Japanese quince and added it to a bouquet of other flowers a few days before her death; I am so pleased that my sister did that since Mother had always cut some from the bush in recent years…the first flowers of spring.

She was a very organized person and passed that along to all her daughters along with practical knowledge of households. She went back to college when I was a teenager….started her career as a teacher before I graduated from high school. I’ve always thought of her as a near perfect mother figure. When I had my own daughter….I knew what kind of mother I wanted to be.

My mother was in my life for over 70 years….it might be one metric I won’t be able to duplicate with my own daughter (I will be 105 when she is 70).

My mother recognized how introverted I was very early on. When I wanted to stay in the car while she went into the post office or store, she encouraged me to go in with her. She sent me to ‘charm’ school. She volunteered for my Camp Fire Girls group. She encouraged me to apply to Up with People (and travel during my junior year of high school). She introduced me to her female college professors to expand the role models I had. I will never be an extrovert…but I do have a lot of people skills that were developed even before I entered the workforce and began to get ‘management training.’

There are little lessons that I’ve learned from my mother more recently about aging gracefully:

  • Cut flowers from the yard are wonderful (require developing a yard for flowers). Buying cut flowers is OK (but second best).

  • Family pictures that are easy to see frequently should share space with art.

  • Regular exercise is important….using as many different muscles as possible.

  • Following instructions for physical therapy and medication is important but can be a challenge.

  • Splurges are OK…in moderation.

  • One of the things she said as part of her greeting when I arrived for a visit was ‘I am so glad you are here’…and she repeated that each night as she headed back to her bedroom. Maybe that is one of the biggest lessons of all….to appreciate the people around you and let them know that you do.

Dead Robin

/

I was noticing that the top of the tennis court slab in my neighborhood was painted/sealed but the sides were not…and then I saw it: a dead bird, the red breast making it obviously a robin. It was outside the chain link enclosure of the tennis courts, on a narrow ledge of concrete. I started thinking about the cause of death, ruling out a predator because the whole bird was still there.

I took some additional pictures. The feet were curled but the zoomed image shows the joints and claws (no wonder birds are often referred to as the modern version of dinosaurs), the feathers were in disarray, and the eye was missing (or maybe just shrunk).

In the end, because of where the bird was – it seemed that perhaps the bird had tried to fly through the chain link fence! Its flight was fast enough that the wings broke and the bird probably died almost immediately from the trauma of the collision.

I left the carcass as I found it.

Gleanings of the Week Ending February 25, 2023

/

The items below were ‘the cream’ of the articles and websites I found this past week. Click on the light green text to look at the article.

The ancient diseases that plagued dinosaurs – Interdisciplinary teams are re-looking at dinosaur bones and comparing anomalies to diseases visible in modern bones….finding examples of dinosaurs with malignant bone cancer, septic arthritis, and airsacculitis. And it seems that there is a lot more to discover with the technologies now available to look at the fossils more closely and collaborating with vets (particularly vets that work with birds and reptiles).

A worthless life and the worthy death: euthanasia through the ages – The post is written from an Australian perspective and about Caitlin Mahar’s book: The Good Death Through Time. The topic is a thought provoking one….made more interesting with an overlay of history.  I wondered how much the growth of medical interventions has changed the way we envision ‘worthy death’ or is the phrase ‘death with dignity’ a better description now.

Residential solar advantages – 5 top benefits – This is something my husband and I plan to do…solar-plus-storage is our 1st choice. Residential solar also has advantages beyond the home itself: it can power your transportation home too!

Fructose could drive Alzheimer’s disease – More research is needed…but it is interesting that the fructose consumption has gone up in the US (in 1977-1978 it was 37 g/day….in a 2008 study, it was 54.7 g/day). Maybe reducing the risk for Alzheimer’s is another reason to eliminate ultra-processed foods that typically contain a lot of fructose from our diet.

High-paying jobs that don't need a college degree? Thousands of them are sitting empty – Making a career in the trades….and there is a lot of work available.

Why methane surged in 2020 – Interesting findings and how they were developed. The two main reasons: 1) heightened emissions from wetlands because of unusually high temperatures and rainfall and 2) decline in NOx due to COVID-19 lockdowns which broke the chemical reaction in the atmosphere that produces hydroxyl (OH) that serves to remove methane from the atmosphere.

Why aren’t energy flows diagrams used more to inform decarbonization? – Yes! These are easier to understand than a lot of other graphics. The ‘heating the UK with heat pumps or green hydrogen’ diagram caused a ‘learned something new’ moment for me!

Will we ever be able to predict earthquakes? – The answer might be ‘no’ – but there are still a lot of people trying. We can’t rely on predicting them to reduce the destruction in infrastructure and lives. Enforced building codes would reduce destruction and save lives since we already know the areas of high risk for earthquakes. It will be interesting to see an analysis of what the damage from the recent Turkey/Syria earthquake would have been if building codes would have been enforced (the ones that Turkey evidently instituted after the previous earthquake…and also if the ‘best in world’ standards has been enforced).

15th-Century Spices Identified in Royal Shipwreck – Analysis of plants from a 1495 shipwreck in the Baltic Sea off the coast of Sweden: nutmeg, cloves, mustard, dill, saffron, ginger, peppercorns, almonds, blackberries, raspberries, grapes and flax. The findings provide insight on cuisine and trade of the era.

Did you know pronghorns shed their horns? – No…but it a good piece of trivia. I remember seeing pronghorns in New Mexico – racing our vehicle during a guided tour of Sevilleta National Wildlife Refuge.

Gleanings of the Week Ending November 19, 2022

/

The items below were ‘the cream’ of the articles and websites I found this past week. Click on the light green text to look at the article.

Energy crisis: How living in a cold home affects your health – The coming winter is going to be very difficult for many – particularly in Europe.

Parks of the 21st century: new ways to reinvent abandoned land – Parks always are signs of hope…the greening of places that might have been eyesores in the past. I wondered how much toxic remediation had to occur for some of the sites they described; its encouraging that we can clean up the messes we’ve made in the past!

Alcohol caused one in eight deaths of working-age US adults – The data used from the analysis was pre-COVID-19 pandemic. Recently, the CDC has released data for 2019 and 2020 and it shows a larger-than-normal 26% spike in the alcohol-induced deathrate. In 2020, alcoholic liver disease and mental/behavioral disorders were the leading underlying causes of alcohol-induced deaths. Sad numbers….lots of people and their families impacted.

A field guide to the unusual raptors of the Southern US – I was pleased to see the snail kite in this article – a bird I saw on a birding trip to Florida in 2019.

Farmers in China, Uganda move to high-yielding, cost-saving perennial rice – Very positive results. Hopefully we will eventually have perennial forms of other grains (wheat in particular).

The weirdest places you can find wild turkeys – Wild turkeys have made a comeback since the early 1900s…a restoration success story. Part of the Thanksgiving vibe this week!

Breast cancer survivorship doubles – An analysis of Canadian data from the 2007-2001. The study also highlighted the long-term side effects in these survivors…the need for new therapies to improve the health of women after surviving breast cancer.

Permanent Standard Time Could Save Lives, Explained by A Sleep Expert – I don’t like changing to/from daylight savings time; before reading this article, I didn’t care which one we chose to make permanent. Now I am convinced that we should stick with standard time! There are too many negative health impacts to staying on daylight savings.

How to avoid bad choices – The article is about the research on how to teach children ‘decision-making competence’ – not just a measure of raw brainpower but how well someone is able to appraise situations. There are many approaches but the goal is to get children and adolescents to start thinking about risk and danger in a more analytical way….on the way to adulthood.

Blind spots in the monitoring of plastic waste – The amount of plastic waste in rivers could be up to 90% higher that previously assumed. The current measurements are mainly based on surface observations…but plastic can be suspended or sink! This study tracked 3,000 particles from 30mm to larger objects like plastic cup. Knowing where the plastic is helps guide where clean up would be the most effective.

Gleanings of the Week Ending November 5, 2022

/

The items below were ‘the cream’ of the articles and websites I found this past week. Click on the light green text to look at the article.

How Tucson, Arizona is facing up to a 1,200-year drought – Harvesting rain!

The demented gift American politicians handed to China – About electric buses….and more. The suggested acronym by the author: GAGA (Give American Greatness Away).

New clues into a serious neurodegenerative disease – So many sources of cognitive decline….and we are just beginning to understand some of the mechanisms (and thus effective treatment). The research described in this post is about frontotemporal dementia.

World headed in wrong direction one 5 key mechanisms of climate progress – And the 5 are: share of unabated fossil gas in electricity generation, carbon intensity of global steel production, share of kilometers traveled in passenger cars, mangrove loss, agricultural production of GHG emissions.

Researchers reveal why shingles can lead to stroke - The risk of stroke is elevated for a year after having shingles. This study found that prothrombotic exosomes which can cause blood clots are found in those with shingles…and persist after the outward symptoms of shingles are gone. Using antiviral agents longer with the addition of antiplatelet and anti-inflammatory agents could help reduce the risk of stroke.

Will we ever…. live in city sized buildings? – Maybe. But would it be pleasant? Maybe an apocalyptic event would force us to do it to survive.

Vitamin D deficiency linked to premature death – The study evaluated 307,601 records from the UK Biobank. Take away message from the results: ensure that vulnerable and elderly maintain sufficient vitamin D levels throughout the year.

Omicron keeps finding new evolutionary tricks to outsmart our immunity – Variants within a variant!

Powerful Aerial Photos Show the Consequences of Drought on the Colorado River – The dry situation in the western US.

Cats react to ‘baby talk’ from their owners, but not strangers – And does this mean we are more than just a food provider in their world?

In Memory of Our Cat

/

Our cat since November 200 died this week. He was adult when we got him on November 2003 so was probably 19-20 years old. My husband and I are missing him.

He came to us with a brother. They were named Simba and Puma, but my daughter renamed them Boromir and Faramir after the brothers in Lord of the Rings. Faramir died in April 2017 and Boromir became our ‘only cat.’

His teeth were always problematic and he had tumor that required removal of his jaw almost 10 years ago….one of his ears developed a hematoma then collapsed. But he took those handicaps in stride…continued enjoying his favorite sunny spots and requesting to be let out on the screened deck.

He saw more of us these past few years than any of our other cats did because we have retired from our careers and the pandemic has kept us at home even more the past couple of years. My husband was the primary cat cuddler and provider of an elaborate smorgasbord of small plates with various cat foods across our kitchen floor to tempt the picky eater.  

The cat declined rapidly in the past few weeks with a lot happening during the week of my cancer surgery.  The cat started getting lost in the house…became blind…then seemed to regain some sight. He managed to come upstairs one early morning and meow loudly…clearly wanting something to be different than it was; it was the last time he came upstairs on his own. A few days later, he lost control of his back legs…soon after started refusing to eat or drink and becoming silent.

And now it is a cold, blustery winter day…and our Boromir is not here. The house seems too big and empty right now.