Baking Soda

My mother used to keep a small bowl with baking soda in it during the summer…adding some water to it when she came in from working in the yard to make a watery slurry that she’d rub over her arms and legs. She said it stopped a lot of the itching. I remembered her doing that and decided to try it. It helps – sometimes completely alleviating the itching!

Most of the time I apply it when if first get in the shower – no worries about leaving soda splashes on the floor that way. I use a back brush to scrub the baking soda slurry onto my back too. Then shower as usual.

In-between uses, the water evaporates, and the remaining baking soda makes a cake that looks like a miniature ice flow….or abstract art. At some point I add more soda, so the container is ready for the next time I am cleaning up after yard work.

Then and Now – Strategies for Reducing Food Costs

Many of the strategies for minimizing food costs my mother applied in the 1960s are still applicable today. The goal is to get the best nutritional value for your expenditure….and waste nothing.

  • Minimize out-to-eat meals. It always costs more to eat in a restaurant – even a fast-food place. In the 1960s there were not as many options as we have now; takeout and delivery of prepared food was not as common. My mother made our hamburgers at home; I didn’t have a ‘fast food’ version until I was a teenager. I remember getting grilled cheese sandwiches and a cherry limeade at the drug store…but not frequently. We took picnics when we made road trips to see our grandparents. I eat out more now than I did for most of my growing up years…although not as much as I did during my career. One way to reduce the bill at a restaurant it to drink water with your meal. Another is to eat half your meal…have the rest for another meal (i.e. spread the cost to 2 meals rather than 1). I try to avoid the poor nutrition options that seem dominate many fast-food chain menus.

  • Plan meals in advance. My mother wrote out her menus for a week or two at a time; I remember them on legal sized paper posted on the refrigerator. I don’t write menus now, but I do know what I have ingredients to make. I usually give my husband a choice for our big meal of the day each morning since he is harder to please than I am.  The focus is on nutrition – enough protein and other nutrients – and avoiding high sugar/fat, ultra-processed foods.

  • Have ‘backup’ meals in the pantry or freezer. My mother always had a well-stocked panty – canned goods (soups, vegetables, fruits, and meats (chicken, tuna, salmon)), nuts, potatoes, onions, peanut butter, bread. These days we eat fewer canned vegetables/fruits – skew toward frozen versions which I can buy in larger packages than fresh since they will last long enough for us to eat the whole package. My mother bought larger packages of raw meat and froze the part that she wasn’t using immediately. I still do that.

  • Scrutinize protein sources and amount. Meats are an expensive item. My mother was a fan of eggs as a protein source; eggs are easy to prepare and they are the least expensive source of protein that we all liked – and not just for breakfast; she didn’t serve them daily…but it was close. I don’t eat eggs as often now (and I have added frittatas and quiche to the way I prepare them), but they are still a relatively low cost source of protein. We generally only have meat once a day and utilize other lower cost sources to add up our daily protein requirement for example, peanut butter, milk, eggs, mushrooms, beans, nuts, bread (not the ultra-processed variety), protein drink/powder.

  • Go to the grocery store with a list…and only buy what is on the list. You want to buy what you need when you shop, avoid another trip to the store for something that was forgotten. In addition to the expense, the spur-of-the-moment purchases are often not healthy choices. It was a special occasion when my mother bought chips or popsicles or oreos or soft drinks or chocolate bars….and I shop the same way now. The strategy is to avoid all ultra-processed foods most of the time.  They may seem inexpensive…but they often have no nutritional value; from your body’s standpoint they are a hinderance rather than a benefit.

  • Leftovers. My mother always used leftovers (i.e. no food waste); they were usually small amounts so we would have a ‘cafeteria day’ and clean out the refrigerator. Sometimes she would combine or add new ingredients to achieve the nutritional value needed for a meal. We do the same now. Nothing goes bad in our refrigerator!

There is a new way I reduce my grocery bill now that didn’t exist in the 1960s: I shop for myself…don’t pay extra for someone else to do shopping or deliver it. I did during the height of COVID-19, but that was a special situation.

Previous Then and Now posts

Then and Now – Food

My mother had taken a college nutrition course in the 1950s, so my memories of meals growing up were relatively well balanced.

  • There were more canned vegetable and fruits than we eat now when we usually eat fresh or frozen…very few canned goods. I do remember frozen strawberries, spinach and broccoli in the 1960s…but they didn’t come in a plastic bag (it was a box of thin cardboard,sometimes with metal ends). Fresh fruits and vegetables were seasonal. A lot of our produce seemed to come from the Rio Grande Valley of Texas (and we lived in Texas). My grandparents had vegetable gardens; I particularly remember corn on the cob, tomatoes, watermelons and cantaloupe during the summer. Still - most of our food came from the grocery store which is true today as well. Fresh fruits and vegetables were purchased whole – not cut up or pre-washed as they sometimes are today. Vegetables that were stable at room temperature like potatoes and onions were kept in a bin in the pantry --- frozen versions were not generally available.

  • Meats were mostly cooked from raw although my mother did use canned chicken, tuna, and salmon (I have canned chicken and salmon in my pantry…but I don’t like tuna). The raw chicken was more likely to be a whole chicken that my mother cooked whole or cut up and then cooked; now I buy boneless chicken breasts exclusively….and I never fry chicken; my mother didn’t fry chicken either she but she did bake chicken with crumbled Cheez-it cracker crust.  Bacon was the same although the curing might have been a bit different; it wasn’t packaged in plastic. Ham was purchased whole usually with a bone; sometimes it came in a ham shaped can without a bone. We rarely had deli meats although there were some packaged meats like hotdogs, baloney and chipped beef…which my mother served occasionally. My mother liked to buy ground chuck rather than the higher fat hamburger meat. These days I buy more chicken than lean beef and almost no pork.  My mother probably served more beef…followed by pork…and then chicken. I skew toward organic meats; even though that labeling did not exist in the 1960s, the meats were probably closer to organic since it was before CAFOs and prophylactic antibiotic use in farm animals.

  • My mother searched for whole grain bread. It was hard to find. Roman Meal was the brand I remember the most. White Wonder bread seemed to be the most popular with everyone else. These days I buy whole grain organic bread with a short ingredient list.

  • The other foods from grain we ate included oatmeal (generally for breakfast), pasta (egg noodles and elbow macaroni were more frequently served than spaghetti), boxed cereals  (Cheerios were a favorite although my Dad really liked Sugar Frosted Flakes…which my mother frowned on), and crackers (saltines and graham crackers). My father didn’t like rice so my mother rarely served it.  I still use oatmeal occasionally but there are new grains too: quinoa and bulghur wheat. I rarely eat rice; it’s not that I don’t like it…but I just don’t like it enough to cook it. I don’t buy crackers since I don’t need the empty calories and neither does my husband.

  • The only beans my mother liked were pinto beans. I can remember her cooking a large pot of pinto beans whenever she had a ham bone…it was the last ‘meal’ made with a ham. We ate the beans with chunks of ham as a soup as soon as they finished cooking and then as leftovers with other meals. I generally my organic canned pinto beans now when we make chili.

  • Eggs and dairy were a daily part of my mother’s meal plan. She always kept whole milk on hand. She bought it in gallon cartons (not plastic coated) since there were enough of us to drink it relatively quickly. These days I drink 2% fat Lactaid milk since I have become lactose intolerant, and it comes in a plastic jug. My mother used Velveeta cheese for grilled cheese sandwiches and macaroni and cheese (she cooked the macaroni…made a white sauce that melted the cheese…put both in a baking dish with wheat germ sprinkled on top to bake together before serving). I don’t eat cheese sandwiches or macaroni and cheese anymore! I do still occasionally have cottage cheese…but I take a Lactaid pill when I do. Eggs are still prepared as they were in the 1960s: hardboiled, fried or scrambled (but with spray on a non-stick pan rather than in bacon grease). I also like frittatas and quiche and other egg casseroles which we didn’t make in the 1960s.

  • We did occasionally have Koolaid or Lemonade or Hawaiian punch in the summer or a soft drink for a special occasion (making an ice cream float or when I visited my grandmother at her work). Most of the time we drank water or milk. It was a special treat to have sweet iced tea with special meals or to eat a popsicle (usually frozen in our freezer) on a hot afternoon. Ice cream was always a favorite – but not eaten daily. I drink soft drinks more often now and unsweetened tea…but milk and water are still frequent beverages. I am trying to cut back on soft drinks and any beverages with sugar (refined or artificial).

  • Nuts were used for snacks although they often required a hammer and cutting board to get the goodie out of the shell. My mother seemed to enjoy buying a bag of mixed nuts in their shells (pecans, walnuts, filberts, Brazil nuts, almonds) from the produce section during the winter holidays. Our favorites were probably pecans. Now I general buy nuts that have already been shelled. We also liked peanut butter; my mother did not approve of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but we enjoyed peanut butter and celery or peanut butter on toast with brown sugar sprinkled on top. My favorite breakfast in recent months is peanut butter toast (no sugar on top).

Food is prepared differently now too:

  • My mother’s favorite quick meals were a protein (hard boiled eggs, canned tuna, chipped beef, canned chicken) in white sauce over toast with a canned vegetable (green beans, for example) or fresh vegetable like carrot or celery sticks. For the younger children, she would cut up the toast before spooning on the white sauce concoction; as we got old enough we learned to cut it up for ourselves after the white sauce was on top. Now I tend to do stir fries for fast meals. I usually do the whole meal in one pot and serve it in a bowl rather than a plate. Gravies like white sauce are not part of the meal at all.

  • There were no microwaves in the 1960s. We made popcorn in a pan if we wanted it. I still use the same type of popcorn…but have a bowl that I use in the microwave to pop it in and I use walnut or sesame oil rather than butter.

  • Sometimes we had hot tea for breakfast or when it was cold outside (always with lots of milk). We made it with tea bags in a little pot or directly in our cups. There were no Mr. Coffee or Keurig machines! I use a Coffee Maker that has never made coffee to make pots of tea now.

  • There were Czech desserts for special meals when I was growing up; no one picked up the role to bake like that after my grandmother died because we just don’t eat that much bread and sugar anymore.  These days we rarely have dessert although when I do - I am still partial to desserts that include fruits (apple pie, apricot tarts, etc). I do enjoy a good carrot cake or red velvet cake but might buy it from a bakery; if I make it myself, I usually serve it without icing!

  • Salads are somewhat easier now. Greens can be bought pre-washed and in convenient bins…and there is a huge variety of kinds beyond iceberg and Romaine lettuce (I like arugula and spinach and ‘spring’ greens). Other ingredients can be bought already cut up now although I generally choose to buy salad ingredients that I cut myself (with the exception of carrots which are my go to snack in the afternoon). The selection of salad dressing is much greater now too although Ranch dressing seems to be too dominant; in the 1960s I remember Thousand Island and French and Vinegar/oil dressings.  I get dressings with names like creamy ginger…or make my own balsamic vinaigrette.

  • My mother sometimes prepared milkshakes (milk, ice cream, raw eggs) for breakfast with toast. She had a blender with a glass body that was heavy but did the job of making a slightly thickened drink. These days I have a Ninja Master Prep and I make ‘smoothies’ rather than milkshakes…without raw eggs. I use milk, frozen fruit (banana + another fruit), frozen veggie (like broccoli), protein powder if I am short protein for the day, and hemp seeds. It comes out the consistency of soft serve ice cream but without any refined sugar!

Overall – there are a lot of ways to eat healthy today even though there are also a lot more ultra-proccessed foods to avoid. Right now, with the exception of soft drinks, I am eating healthier than I did as a child!

Previous Then and Now posts

Ten Little Celebrations – May 2024

May 2024 was full of little celebrations…with near perfect temperatures and some big events.

3 pink irises - Most of the irises were fading by May but there were three still in good condition in a flower bed at the side of our house which can’t be seen (by us or our neighbors) except by walking around our house. I saw them when I was mowing and cut them to bring indoors.

Bleu Monkey - The first thing we did in Hot Springs was to have lunch. We picked a great place – tasty food and a huge drink (that my daughter did not finish)…but what made it celebratory was the interaction with the other patrons!

Garvan Woodland Gardens – My daughter and I both celebrated our experience at Garvan Woodland Gardens (via golf cart and on foot). I’m sure we’ll go again…maybe experience it in every season over the next few years.

Whirlpool bath at Buckstaff Bathhouse in Hot Springs – The Buckstaff Bathhouse is a way to celebrate history and the great feel hot springs.

Large birdbath – I moved a large glass birdbath from Maryland but didn’t set it up last year because I didn’t think the old stand was stable enough in our environment. I bought a new stand at Branson’s Butterfly Palace last fall and celebrated how great it looks set up near our bird feeders…and that I’ve seen birds coming to get a drink.

Mowing the whole yard in one day – Usually I mow my yard over 2 days…so I celebrate when I can do it one. It helped that May was cool…I probably won’t attempt it when the temperatures are higher.

A new family member - One of my nieces had a baby girl….always a celebratory event.

New glasses - I celebrated new plastic frames (rather than wire rims with pads as the bridge) that feel better on my narrow nose bridge.

Salmon salad – Salad made with canned salmon and celery (and other veggies) with chipotle mayonnaise (or other spicy dressing) has become one of my favorite lunches. I celebrated rediscovering a staple (canned salmon) that my mother always had in her pantry.

Aurora from our deck – My husband and I both celebrated that we managed to see and photograph the aurora from the deck of our house! It was very special.

Springfield’s Artsfest

We almost cancelled our plans to go to Springfield’s Artsfest because thunderstorms were in the forecast….but they happened in the early morning rather than during the prime time for Artsfest. We got there about 11 and appreciated the Missouri State University parking garage…much easier than street parking in the area. We enjoyed the long row of artsy vendors along with food trucks, local government/non-profits information tables, and musicians on small stages just far enough away from each other to not clash. It was warm enough that we got a cup of Pineapple Whip almost immediately!

Last year I bought earrings for me and a stainless-steel iris for my mother (for Mother’s Day). I’m not wearing earrings as frequently these days, so I was determined to not buy any new ones (and opted to not even look because they are just so tempting both from habit and my enjoyment of wearable art). I couldn’t resist buying a stainless-steel spider mum from the same vendor that made the iris.

I stopped to talk to one of the artists whose botanical paintings are so textured that they are almost a sculpture coming out of the canvas. I was surprised at the various materials she used in her work; it depended on how far the texture projected from the canvas!

After a little over an hour – we were ready for lunch and opted to stop by my daughter’s house before we headed to a BBQ place. There is always something to notice in her yard:

A small insect on a miniature rose.

A vine that had died last year after an overzealous yard person sprayed too much weed killer nearby coming back and full of unfurling blooms.

The tree that was also impacted by the same killing event is also recovering although some limbs appear to have died and need to be pruned away. I always like the thick lichen on the trunk.

The spider mum was another way of celebrating my mother’s life; when we got home, I put the pink iris from last year in front of one of my office windows (I brought it home when my parents’ house was sold) and the spider mum under the pine tree where I can see it through another window. Good memories for May 2024 and 2023!

Then and Now: Groceries

In the 1960s, my mother did the grocery shopping for the family – usually going once a week.  I went with her occasionally but not often. She usually shopped while my sisters and I were in school. Her favorite grocery store was Safeway. I am now shopping at Walmart most of the time since it is the closest grocery store to me and once a week is still my goal. The hours my The Walmart is open from 6AM-11PM, 7 days a week; the hours grocery stores were open in the 1960s was a lot less than that and there were items they couldn’t sell on Sundays if they were open then (‘blue laws’ in Texas).

The carts were similar in design to the larger ones in most stores now although they were all metal (no plastic) and did not have seatbelts for young children. Most grocery stores now  have a few smaller carts along with the larger ones but I usually am buying enough that I get a large cart.

My mother always had a list that accumulated over the week; most of the time she made the additions to the list but as my sisters and I got old enough, we sometimes wrote in items. Now I use the OurGroceries app so that my husband and I can add items to the list from any of our devices and I use my phone when I am in the store rather than a piece of paper.

My mother only bought food at the grocery store…not toiletries or over-the-counter medications; those were purchased at a drug store which also included a pharmacy. I buy many non-groceries during my weekly shopping now; toiletries are frequently on the list, but I sometimes buy clothes or office supplies as well. It’s an advantage of shopping at Walmart rather than a grocery store. We still pick up our prescriptions at a CVS; the pharmacy at Walmart is not open at the time I usually shop (between 7 and 8:30 AM on Friday mornings).

At checkout, a cashier had to enter the price of each item on the register and the strip of paper that my mother was handed at the end only included the prices and the total. She paid with cash or wrote a check. Now I scan my purchases myself, use a credit card to pay for them, and get an itemized list that includes an abbreviated description of each item along with the total.

Mother’s purchases were put in brown paper bags by the cashier. Now the store provides single-use plastic bags; I’ve used my own bags for more than a decade (they are stronger, and I don’t have to take precautions to contain the single-use bags from littering and polluting the environment). I put my items into my bags after I scan them. All the refrigerator items go into an insulated bag and the remaining items are grouped into bags to make unloading easier once I get home (and to make sure bread, chips, and eggs are not damaged in transit).

There was a lot less plastic. Milk came only in cartons (waxed…not plastic coated) and juices and soft drinks came in glass. Canned foods were purchased frequently, and the cans were not lined with plastic. The produce section included mainly seasonal foods along with ones that could be easily stored/transported (like bananas). Broccoli was something we had periodically as a frozen vegetable, and it was packaged in a box rather than a plastic bag.  We enjoyed strawberries seasonally or frozen (in a box); now my husband likes the frozen ones (in a plastic bag) more than he likes fresh ones! Plastic is the dominate packaging now: jugs of milk, bottles of water/soft drinks/juice, bags of frozen veggies and fruit, robustly sealed meats, bags of snacks and fresh vegetables/fruits, jars of peanut butter. Sometimes there is an option to buy in class jars but most of the time there is no choice; the packaging is plastic.

The most common type of bread was white; my mother wanted ‘whole wheat’ and bought Roman Meal when she could find it. I buy Dave’s Sprouted organic bread….avoiding a lot of added chemicals that have been introduced over the years to keep bread from molding or otherwise ‘improving’ it in some way (‘improving’ is in quotes because many breads cross over into the ultra-processed realm with the additions that are quite common today).

Some of the brands are still around: Cambell’s, Nabisco, Kelloggs, Green Giant. I don’t buy them as often as my mother did…only Cambell’s Tomato Soup and Green Giant Niblets Corn for my husband.

There are a lot of products in the grocery store that were not available in the 1960s…most of them ultra-processed and they fill up whole aisles of the grocery store. It requires some willpower to steer clear of those (although it gets easier over time). On the healthier side, it is now easier to find international foods (salsas and tortillas, etc.) and things like boneless chicken breasts…a lot more options when it comes to pasta, sauces in glass jars, greens (kale and arugula were not in grocery stores in the 1960s), grains/seed (quinoa and chia are new…’chia pets’ were not introduced until the later 1970s), and no salt seasonings. There are now targeted foods for special diets; for example, milk that includes Lactaid for those that are lactose intolerant and protein shakes for diabetics or those dieting and concerned about getting adequate protein.

My mother was very conscious of nutritional guidelines; she had taken home economics courses in college. We had some form of protein at every meal along with fruits and vegetables and grains. Sugary items were only for special occasions. There were seasonal fresh foods, but she relied on canned goods more than we do now, particularly during the winter. Both sets of grandparents had big gardens and we enjoyed their bounty whenever we could – supplementing what was purchased at the grocery store; we knew how food was grown and a little of how it was preserved (canned) for later. Now we buy more fresh or frozen fruits and veggies rather than canned because they are readily available during the whole year. I also buy organic as much as I can….something that didn’t exist in the 1960s.

Groceries have changed significantly since the 1960s. Availability of healthy foods is probably better now – although it takes more attention/knowledge to avoid the ultra-processed foods that are often intermingled with the healthy food.

Previous Then and Now posts

Ten Little Celebrations – March 2024

Picking 10 little celebrations is only challenging because there are so many of them to choose from! I help myself by only noting one each day, but I realize when I look at the list at the end of the month that there are even more, in retrospect, worthy of celebration. Here are the top 10 for March 2024.

My mother’s life. The phrase ‘celebration of life’ is more like a savoring because there is an overlay of grief that is part of every gathering after a death. I stayed focused on making sure that someone was with my dad for the duration and providing narration of the images in the slideshow for him…varying what I said a bit each time it repeated and realizing that she had a very full 92 years!

Getting the check deposited after the sale of my parents’ house. What a relief to not be carrying around a big check!

Home again. I made multiple short trips to Dallas for various reasons and was always very glad to be home again. Even though the time away is only a couple of days, the stress of driving, my task while in Dallas, and staying in a hotel takes a toll. I don’t really relax until I am at home. Hopefully, when I am only going down to see my dad, it will not be as stressful.

Sequiota Cave Boat tour. What a great tour. I liked the non-commercial nature the tour…seeing the tiny bats roosting.

Springfield Botanical Gardens. Full of spring blooming trees.

Dickerson Park Zoo. My daughter gave us a membership for Christmas, so we’ll be enjoying the zoo often over the next year. I liked the roaming peacocks (and other things too). The post about this visit is coming day after tomorrow.

Feeling better. I got sick with something that caused sinus and throat problems. I tested for COVID for 3 days…and was negative for that. And then I recovered rapidly and I celebrated. Also celebrated that my husband did get whatever it was.

Creating more hosta locations. I divided some of my hosta plants as they first began to come up and was pleased that the new plants adjusted very quickly to their new space. I am looking forward to their lush growth this summer…and will divide more plants next spring!

Burning sticks. I enjoyed the fire in my chiminea after cleaning up the small branches and pine cones around my yard….celebrating with some pictures of the fire!

Butterfly and pollinator seeds planted. I celebrated getting the beds prepared and the seeds planted…right at the mid-March suggested planting deadline.

Macro Photography – March 2024

Sometimes I get in the mood for macro photography. It has happened several times this month.

The first was at my mother’s funeral. I was thinking about the bouquet of daffodils/narcissus that her neighbor cut from their old yard (with the new owner’s permission) and decided to take some macro views of the flowers while we were waiting for the service to begin. I thought about all the joy my mother experienced with her garden…with the flowers growing there and the ones she cut to bring inside. And that she transmitted that joy to her daughters.

The second round of macro photography was when I trimmed some low branches from one of my pine trees and decided to take a closer look at one of the branches.

Pine cones are so sturdy….they are hard on my lawn mower…but there is a fragile aspect to them too. At close range they are wrinkled and folded and etched.

The bark on a small stem shows where needles once grew and the expansion of the stem making brown islands in gray green.nce.

The bud at the end of stem looks reddish surrounded by green needles. Once again – I realize how much color there is that is unnoticed until we take a closer look.

The last macro photograph is one my daughter sent via text when she visited the Memphis Botanic Garden recently. She knows how much I enjoy finding fiddleheads….and evidently had caught the macro photography bug too. These were interesting because of the felt-like covering that must have protected them until they started to unfurl.

Ramping up Elder Care – March 2024 (1)

A lot has happened in the last few weeks, so I am going to write 2 ‘ramping up elder care’ posts in March. In my mid-February post, I wrote “Are we through the bend…or is more to come before we settle into the new normal?” We were already getting accustomed to my parents’ house being sold…but we were also anxious with my dad testing positive for COVID. My mother tested positive a few days after he did….and died suddenly  few days later after being in the hospital for about 2 hours. So - the bend in my family’s collective life path is continuing into March.

My mother’s funeral was on the 1st. Dad was pleased with his appearance for the funeral; one of the assisted living staff helped him get into his suit (which he had not worn for a few years --- the last time was to a granddaughter’s wedding)…found another shirt so the neck would button and he could wear a tie! My sisters and I alternated being with him during the visitation and service. He seemed to enjoy my slide-by-slide narration of the pictures of Mother’s life from a young child to a few days before she died at 92. He also liked the limo. He did not like seeing Mother in the casket…thought it didn’t look like her even though he acknowledged that it was. He looked a few times then seemed to prefer watching the slideshow.

 My dad is grieving but very engaged with the reconfiguration of his living area at the assisted living group home. We started setting expectations a few days before the funeral so he would not be surprised when the furniture moves started to happen and it helped him internalize that mother was not coming back. The bed my mother has been using was one provided by the assisted living home and it was removed while we were at the funeral. We were all relieved that he didn’t seem traumatized that it was gone.   He is talking more than usual (he previously has always deferred to mother) ….and is more opinionated about how he would like things arranged. My sisters and I are spending more time with him, and the staff is very helpful. The staff has figured out that a small serving of ice cream is a great treat for him…and smooths out rough emotional times. So far – he seems to be surprising us with how well he is navigating his ‘new normal’ without his partner for over 71 years.

My dad’s reactions have been so positive that my sisters and I have already cleared away most of my mother’s belongings. It was a good time for us to talk to each other and him….noting some of the clothes she had worn for years…and others that were almost new…and trying out ideas for where furniture would be moved.

I don’t know for sure that we are at a new normal yet. We are with him more than usual…just to be sure he is OK. So far…he seems to be.

A few last pictures from my parents back yard the day before we closed on the 28th:

One of the neighbors asked the new owner if he could cut the narcissus and daffodil flowers from the yard to bring to the funeral….and the new owner said yes!

One of the neighbors asked the new owner if he could cut the narcissus and daffodil flowers from the yard to bring to the funeral….and the new owner said yes!

Previous posts: November 2023, November 2023 update, December 2023, January 2024, February 2024

Zentangle® – February 2024

February was a stressful month. The pile of tiles I selected these 29 from was finished before the death of my mother. At the end of March….I’ll look at what might be different about the before and after tiles. As I write this post, I am still in the stage of being preoccupied and cycling through various stages of grief; when I think I have reached  level of acceptance, I find myself thinking ‘oh mom would enjoy hearing/seeing this’ before I consciously remind myself that she is gone; I am realizing that my subconscious is churning away and interfering with my ability to focus too.

The square tiles this month are made on the usual neon colored card stock. Most of the time I can make patterns on both sides of the tile…unless I use the thicker pens and the color bleeds through.

The rectangular tiles are a mix of recycled light weight cardboard from cat food boxes (light brown), the wider tiles that are textured stationery from my dad’s business over 30 years ago that I found in his office when we cleaned it out, and the pale yellow/green 3x5 cards are also from his office (he carried them in his shirt pocket for notes….and then stopped about 5 years ago).

The past few months have re-enforced my self-knowledge that making a Zentangle tile (or two or three…) every day helps me through stressful times.

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The Zentangle® Method is an easy-to-learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. It was created by Rick Roberts and Maria Thomas. “Zentangle” is a registered trademark of Zentangle, Inc. Learn more at zentangle.com.

Death of my Mother

My mother died a little over a week ago. She was in her 90s and frail…had survived some significant health challenges over the last decade; I thought I had internalized that her death could happen at any time, but it surprised me. It happened very quickly.

My thoughts are still jumping all over the place…

I am savoring the last times I saw her a little over a week before her death – taking her and my dad out to lunch at a new restaurant, talking to them while they ate breakfast the next morning. She had gotten her hair cut and styled by the woman that had done it for the over 40 years recently and was looking great. They both seemed happy. Good times!

One of my sisters cut some of the Japanese quince and added it to a bouquet of other flowers a few days before her death; I am so pleased that my sister did that since Mother had always cut some from the bush in recent years…the first flowers of spring.

She was a very organized person and passed that along to all her daughters along with practical knowledge of households. She went back to college when I was a teenager….started her career as a teacher before I graduated from high school. I’ve always thought of her as a near perfect mother figure. When I had my own daughter….I knew what kind of mother I wanted to be.

My mother was in my life for over 70 years….it might be one metric I won’t be able to duplicate with my own daughter (I will be 105 when she is 70).

My mother recognized how introverted I was very early on. When I wanted to stay in the car while she went into the post office or store, she encouraged me to go in with her. She sent me to ‘charm’ school. She volunteered for my Camp Fire Girls group. She encouraged me to apply to Up with People (and travel during my junior year of high school). She introduced me to her female college professors to expand the role models I had. I will never be an extrovert…but I do have a lot of people skills that were developed even before I entered the workforce and began to get ‘management training.’

There are little lessons that I’ve learned from my mother more recently about aging gracefully:

  • Cut flowers from the yard are wonderful (require developing a yard for flowers). Buying cut flowers is OK (but second best).

  • Family pictures that are easy to see frequently should share space with art.

  • Regular exercise is important….using as many different muscles as possible.

  • Following instructions for physical therapy and medication is important but can be a challenge.

  • Splurges are OK…in moderation.

  • One of the things she said as part of her greeting when I arrived for a visit was ‘I am so glad you are here’…and she repeated that each night as she headed back to her bedroom. Maybe that is one of the biggest lessons of all….to appreciate the people around you and let them know that you do.