Used Puzzles!

/

This is my second year to volunteer with the used book sale held by my local Friends of the Library. This year the first set up day was raining so transporting boxes of books from the storage area to the location of the sale was a bit more challenging. I helped set up tables to load with the books and then to unpacked boxes. We had to get everything off the floor before we were left since the building has sometimes gotten flooded in the past; the rain had stopped…but the nearby river might not have crested.

I volunteered again on the first day of the sale – the ‘members only’ afternoon and evening. The building had not flooded so the second day of set up had gotten everything in place and ready for people to buy books.

There was a rack that was great for displaying puzzles that was brought in on that second day of set up that was new this year; there was also a table full of puzzles.

I bought 20 300-piece puzzles for my dad! They are quite a bargain at $2 each. I will take them 4-5 at a time when I make my monthly trip to Dallas!

Sustaining Elder Care – April 2025

/

My dad had his 94th birthday this past month – his second in the assisted living home. My sisters provided special foods and balloons over at least 3 days. One of the celebrations was shared with the staff and other residents of the assisted living home.

I visited before his birthday and was pleasantly surprised that the physical therapy sessions had improved his physical stamina since my visit in late February. He was able to stand up from sitting more easily…and we walked outdoors for about half the distance he had been doing last fall (so not fully recovered but trending positive).

He was a bit more alert when we worked on one of the puzzles I brought with me…for a little less than an hour. When he is tired and ready to quit, he complains about not being able to see well; there is probably a permanent impairment in one eye…and his readers always seem to need cleaning which might impact his sight in the other eye.

He talked a little more (although some of what he said was clearly gleaned from sometime long ago rather than recently). He admitted that much of what he thinks about seems to be happening recently, but it is too much to really all be in the past few weeks! He seemed more interested in the slideshow that one of my sisters put together to play on his television during the day. It doesn’t include people (which he would have trouble identifying) …it focuses on places he visited…farm machinery that he might remember from his growing up. The tractors are always a favorite.

I only see him once a month. Sometimes it seems like he is declining…and there is a slight recovery. The last visit was a “recovery” and I am looking forward to the next visit …hoping the trend continues.

Sustaining Elder Care – March 2025

/

The fragile consensus between my father’s 4 daughters has deteriorated over the past month. The combination of his Covid week in February and the reduction of physical activity that often happens in the winter has caused a decline in his physical condition. His doctor noticed the delta before and after Covid – setting up a round of physical therapy to help him recover. Tensions became high when the PT person asked about one of the drugs he was on. Two of the 4 daughters apparently forgot when and why the decision was made re the drug and highly emotional conversations ensued. The food the assisted living residence provides was a hot topic again too. It was stressful to all and is not resolved except that we are all trying to do the best we can for our father….and hoping we keep him comfortable even while we are struggling emotionally behind the scenes.

While it is stressful to have a parent that cannot always make his wishes known or care for himself. We have delegated his baseline day to day care to the assisted living residence, but my sisters and I can strive to provide some ‘extras’ – activities we can enjoy with him like taking a short walk, working on a puzzle, and getting a vegetable garden started. I found 2 more 300-piece puzzles when I volunteered at my local library; I’ll take them next time I go to Dallas.

Sustaining Elder Care – November 2024

/

I have two book/puzzle sorting days at my community library before I go off to Dallas again…I am hoping to find some more 300-piece puzzles to take for my Dad. I think he is probably running a bit low and maybe my sister is bringing some older ones back that he hasn’t done recently. We don’t have as many 300-piece as we do 500…and those 500-piece ones are getting too hard for him.

The past month has been more stressful in terms of elder care than I anticipated. There is a disagreement between us daughters about whether he is having pain when he eats and he needs his food ground up. Observations of him eating are not consistent. We have asked the dentist he saw last to make an assessment….since to make the change in mealtime routine for the assisted living staff will require a doctor’s order.  On the plus side – I don’t think my dad is aware of the turmoil. Most of the interaction among my sisters and I is via text; I’ve stopped looking at the messages about an hour before bedtime to try to reduce the impact on my sleep. It’s also caused me to start thinking more about what I want my relationship with my sisters to be separate from our shared interest in our father’s well-being.

Sustaining Eldercare – October 2024

/

A big worry in any group living situation with older people – something contagious going around - seemed to be happening in late September. Dad developed upper respiratory congestion and was not feeling well at all; the medication his doctor prescribed made his balance even more precarious but appeared to help him otherwise. No one else in the assisted living residence had it so it might have been a seasonal allergy flare up. He is the only resident that goes outdoors on a regular basis – for his walks around the block and to help water plants around the patio. He is back to normal at this point and the family is very relieved.

We are continuing to enjoy jigsaw puzzles with him. There are some clues that don’t work for him anymore – like tiny writing on a puzzle piece; his eyesight is not good enough to read the words.

One of my sisters took a closer look at his toothbrush and electric shaver recently. The toothbrush needs to be replaced, and the electric shaver looked as if it hadn’t been cleaned for a long time. Since both of those things are items we need to provide for him, we should have been monitoring them more closely. We are good about the things we do for him daily (like putting out clothes for the next day) but probably need a list of things we check periodically (like the toothbrush and electric shaver)! The other toiletries – like toothpaste and lotion and soap – were already on our radar and there are extras of those things already available under the sink of his bathroom.

He has been living in the assisted living residence for 10 months now. My sisters and I are still tweaking how we best support him…some is just to be expected since we want to be responsive as his needs change, but other tweaks are discoveries for us of things we should have been doing proactively all along (like checking the toothbrush and the electric razor).

Sustaining Elder Care – July 2024

/

A full month had passed since my visit to my father in June and I noticed that his situation seemed calmer this month although the staff at the assisted living home were stressed with acclimating 2 new residents and the further decline of another. It took them longer to answer the front doorbell on both of my visits, but on both days my dad’s room was clean, he was dressed in clean clothes, and he had just finished a meal.

Since I arrive in the afternoon, it was too hot for a walk outdoors. One of the staff members stopped by to tell me she had taken him in the morning just after breakfast. We finished a puzzle in the great room (he was very pleased since the easy parts had been done the day before and the remaining pieces were mostly the same color). Afterward we went into the back yard, and he sat in the shade while I watered the plants that my sister managed to transfer from his former home; they need to be watered daily in the hot Dallas summer; my mother’s miniature rose bush is blooming profusely. I put out his clothes for the next day. It seems 2 to 2.5 hours is the ideal duration for visits with him. When I left, he was going to take a nap.

The next morning, I got bitten by something (ants?) as I waited for a staff member to let me into the house (fortunately the welts disappeared quickly once I used my After Bite stick). The staff were evidently overwhelmed with helping another resident (or two); they left the door a little ajar so I could immediately take Dad for a walk. The temperature was still pleasant, and I was surprised at the pace Dad set; it is clear that he is walking regularly and had built up his stamina. We made it around the block in good time – but enough that whatever was keeping the staff busy had resolved by the time we got back. I encouraged my dad to drink some water and we started a new puzzle. It turned out to be harder than we anticipated, and we only got about 2/3 of the border done before we decided to take a break to water plants in the backyard. And he was worn out from those activities…ready for a nap before lunch!

My dad is visited by me or my sisters almost every day. We all put out clothes for him to wear the next day and (right now) water plants. If the weather permits, we take him for a walk. We work on a puzzle with him. There has been at least one instance where he has requested that a puzzle be framed for his wall – and participated in the process to get it ready for the frame. He seems to be settling into a comfortable pattern.

The newest challenge has been him getting cold and putting on a jacket when he is in his room. Evidently the thermostat for his part of the house is in the kitchen and when there is a lot of cooking happening there it gets hot enough to cause the air conditioner to come on. His room gets about 5 degrees cooler than the kitchen! The staff is aware of the issue and is monitor. We are also reminding him that it is warmer in the community room where the puzzle table and large recliners are located…but he seems to prefer the jacket and his room at least some of the time!

Previous Elder Care posts

Sustaining Elder Care – May 2024

/

Since my last ‘sustaining elder care’ post, I have been to Dallas twice and am acknowledging that maybe my plan to drive down once a month is not going to work. Two times a month is becoming my more realistic plan.

Now that the days are longer, I can visit in the afternoon on the day I drive down and again in the morning before I drive back to Missouri. My dad is the only morning person in his assisted living group home so visiting him in the morning is prime one-on-one time. He frequently has a ‘first breakfast’ before anyone else is awake (about the time I arrive) and then eats again with everyone else. Between the two light meals we can take a walk around the block or maybe further if his stamina increases; in the summer, the morning walk might be his only walk of the day.

One of the challenges right now is that my dad tends to lose track of his reading glasses (he needs them to work on puzzles). My sister has brought a supply but hopefully some of them will show up again. While we were working on the puzzle during my morning visit, he did it without glasses! He seemed to enjoy the challenge of working from the shape of the piece entirely – and he was successful plenty of times.

I bought 10 more puzzles at the $3/bag day at my Missouri library’s used books (and puzzles) sale. What a bargain! One of them was a duplicate but it still was a good deal! We started the beach and lighthouse puzzle in the upper left corner of the picture below during my first visit in May.

There has been some upheaval at the assisted living home – the lead staff member being reassigned to another home and some leadership being rotated in from other homes – the company searching for a permanent replacement. There is also a new resident in a room near my dad’s. So far, he seems to be unperturbed by the changes, but my sisters and I are thinking more about what our plan would be if something went very wrong at the home where he is.

Previous Elder Care posts

Zentangle® – January 2024

/

31 days in January – 31 Zentangle tiles selected from 74 created during the month. I split my time between Carrollton TX and home (Missouri) during the month…with plenty of quiet times sandwiched between roller coaster emotions. The islands of calm creating the tiles were little boosts to my emotional resilience. I created two series.

The first was made on pale yellow and green 3x5 index cards that were in unopened packages of my Dad’s office…found when we were cleaning it out. He used to carry a few cards in his shirt pocket for jotting down notes or making lists. I’m not sure when he stopped, but he has. So – I am using the cards for Zentangle tiles…and thinking of him!

The other series is made on round paper coasters. They all started with the same string (four lines intersecting in the center)…and then the variations begin!

And then there were the colorful square tiles.

I am enjoying looking at the mosaics…thinking back on the challenge of the past 3 months and acknowledging the positive impact of including Zentangle tiles in my daily routine.

--

The Zentangle® Method is an easy-to-learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns. It was created by Rick Roberts and Maria Thomas. “Zentangle” is a registered trademark of Zentangle, Inc. Learn more at zentangle.com.