Then and Now: Groceries

In the 1960s, my mother did the grocery shopping for the family – usually going once a week.  I went with her occasionally but not often. She usually shopped while my sisters and I were in school. Her favorite grocery store was Safeway. I am now shopping at Walmart most of the time since it is the closest grocery store to me and once a week is still my goal. The hours my The Walmart is open from 6AM-11PM, 7 days a week; the hours grocery stores were open in the 1960s was a lot less than that and there were items they couldn’t sell on Sundays if they were open then (‘blue laws’ in Texas).

The carts were similar in design to the larger ones in most stores now although they were all metal (no plastic) and did not have seatbelts for young children. Most grocery stores now  have a few smaller carts along with the larger ones but I usually am buying enough that I get a large cart.

My mother always had a list that accumulated over the week; most of the time she made the additions to the list but as my sisters and I got old enough, we sometimes wrote in items. Now I use the OurGroceries app so that my husband and I can add items to the list from any of our devices and I use my phone when I am in the store rather than a piece of paper.

My mother only bought food at the grocery store…not toiletries or over-the-counter medications; those were purchased at a drug store which also included a pharmacy. I buy many non-groceries during my weekly shopping now; toiletries are frequently on the list, but I sometimes buy clothes or office supplies as well. It’s an advantage of shopping at Walmart rather than a grocery store. We still pick up our prescriptions at a CVS; the pharmacy at Walmart is not open at the time I usually shop (between 7 and 8:30 AM on Friday mornings).

At checkout, a cashier had to enter the price of each item on the register and the strip of paper that my mother was handed at the end only included the prices and the total. She paid with cash or wrote a check. Now I scan my purchases myself, use a credit card to pay for them, and get an itemized list that includes an abbreviated description of each item along with the total.

Mother’s purchases were put in brown paper bags by the cashier. Now the store provides single-use plastic bags; I’ve used my own bags for more than a decade (they are stronger, and I don’t have to take precautions to contain the single-use bags from littering and polluting the environment). I put my items into my bags after I scan them. All the refrigerator items go into an insulated bag and the remaining items are grouped into bags to make unloading easier once I get home (and to make sure bread, chips, and eggs are not damaged in transit).

There was a lot less plastic. Milk came only in cartons (waxed…not plastic coated) and juices and soft drinks came in glass. Canned foods were purchased frequently, and the cans were not lined with plastic. The produce section included mainly seasonal foods along with ones that could be easily stored/transported (like bananas). Broccoli was something we had periodically as a frozen vegetable, and it was packaged in a box rather than a plastic bag.  We enjoyed strawberries seasonally or frozen (in a box); now my husband likes the frozen ones (in a plastic bag) more than he likes fresh ones! Plastic is the dominate packaging now: jugs of milk, bottles of water/soft drinks/juice, bags of frozen veggies and fruit, robustly sealed meats, bags of snacks and fresh vegetables/fruits, jars of peanut butter. Sometimes there is an option to buy in class jars but most of the time there is no choice; the packaging is plastic.

The most common type of bread was white; my mother wanted ‘whole wheat’ and bought Roman Meal when she could find it. I buy Dave’s Sprouted organic bread….avoiding a lot of added chemicals that have been introduced over the years to keep bread from molding or otherwise ‘improving’ it in some way (‘improving’ is in quotes because many breads cross over into the ultra-processed realm with the additions that are quite common today).

Some of the brands are still around: Cambell’s, Nabisco, Kelloggs, Green Giant. I don’t buy them as often as my mother did…only Cambell’s Tomato Soup and Green Giant Niblets Corn for my husband.

There are a lot of products in the grocery store that were not available in the 1960s…most of them ultra-processed and they fill up whole aisles of the grocery store. It requires some willpower to steer clear of those (although it gets easier over time). On the healthier side, it is now easier to find international foods (salsas and tortillas, etc.) and things like boneless chicken breasts…a lot more options when it comes to pasta, sauces in glass jars, greens (kale and arugula were not in grocery stores in the 1960s), grains/seed (quinoa and chia are new…’chia pets’ were not introduced until the later 1970s), and no salt seasonings. There are now targeted foods for special diets; for example, milk that includes Lactaid for those that are lactose intolerant and protein shakes for diabetics or those dieting and concerned about getting adequate protein.

My mother was very conscious of nutritional guidelines; she had taken home economics courses in college. We had some form of protein at every meal along with fruits and vegetables and grains. Sugary items were only for special occasions. There were seasonal fresh foods, but she relied on canned goods more than we do now, particularly during the winter. Both sets of grandparents had big gardens and we enjoyed their bounty whenever we could – supplementing what was purchased at the grocery store; we knew how food was grown and a little of how it was preserved (canned) for later. Now we buy more fresh or frozen fruits and veggies rather than canned because they are readily available during the whole year. I also buy organic as much as I can….something that didn’t exist in the 1960s.

Groceries have changed significantly since the 1960s. Availability of healthy foods is probably better now – although it takes more attention/knowledge to avoid the ultra-processed foods that are often intermingled with the healthy food.

Previous Then and Now posts

Ten Little Celebrations – March 2024

Picking 10 little celebrations is only challenging because there are so many of them to choose from! I help myself by only noting one each day, but I realize when I look at the list at the end of the month that there are even more, in retrospect, worthy of celebration. Here are the top 10 for March 2024.

My mother’s life. The phrase ‘celebration of life’ is more like a savoring because there is an overlay of grief that is part of every gathering after a death. I stayed focused on making sure that someone was with my dad for the duration and providing narration of the images in the slideshow for him…varying what I said a bit each time it repeated and realizing that she had a very full 92 years!

Getting the check deposited after the sale of my parents’ house. What a relief to not be carrying around a big check!

Home again. I made multiple short trips to Dallas for various reasons and was always very glad to be home again. Even though the time away is only a couple of days, the stress of driving, my task while in Dallas, and staying in a hotel takes a toll. I don’t really relax until I am at home. Hopefully, when I am only going down to see my dad, it will not be as stressful.

Sequiota Cave Boat tour. What a great tour. I liked the non-commercial nature the tour…seeing the tiny bats roosting.

Springfield Botanical Gardens. Full of spring blooming trees.

Dickerson Park Zoo. My daughter gave us a membership for Christmas, so we’ll be enjoying the zoo often over the next year. I liked the roaming peacocks (and other things too). The post about this visit is coming day after tomorrow.

Feeling better. I got sick with something that caused sinus and throat problems. I tested for COVID for 3 days…and was negative for that. And then I recovered rapidly and I celebrated. Also celebrated that my husband did get whatever it was.

Creating more hosta locations. I divided some of my hosta plants as they first began to come up and was pleased that the new plants adjusted very quickly to their new space. I am looking forward to their lush growth this summer…and will divide more plants next spring!

Burning sticks. I enjoyed the fire in my chiminea after cleaning up the small branches and pine cones around my yard….celebrating with some pictures of the fire!

Butterfly and pollinator seeds planted. I celebrated getting the beds prepared and the seeds planted…right at the mid-March suggested planting deadline.

Springfield Yard – March 2024

My daughter’s yard in Springfield MO is full of springtime. I visited to help get pollinator/butterfly garden seeds planted. After we got that done – I enjoyed the beauty of the yard which has been a work in progress since the house was built in the 1950s…and my daughter’s since 2021.

The oakleaf hydrangea is leaving out; the plant gets more sun this time of year before the big trees get their leaves. I noticed it as we were picking up sticks around the base of her river birch and oak tree.

The vinca, growing in a bed thick with leaves from last fall, is blooming.

Her wood hydrangea still has flowers dried from last fall…not leafing out yet in its shady location.

A Japanese quince was blooming. I hadn’t noticed this in her yard before, but I must have just missed being there at the right time.s. Would birds get ‘drunk’ from the (probably fermented) fruit?

The crabapple tree was full of buds – and some crabapples left from last season. Most of the fruits had been eaten and I wondered why there are still some on the trees. Would birds get ‘drunk’ from the (probably fermented) fruit?

There is a young cherry tree near the corner of her front yard. The blooms were everywhere.

A red bud is in the other corner also full of blooms. My daughter commented that it really is misnamed since it isn’t red.

We also observed that most of the plants damaged from a too zealous application of herbicide by a yard crew last year seem to be recovering with the new season.

What a great time to get outdoors and into a garden….

Our yard/yard work – March 2024

There is a lot going on in our yard this month. The bulbs I planted last year have thrived. The crocus bloomed first followed by the hyacinths and daffodils. The hyacinths don’t seem to bloom as well here as they did years ago in Maryland.

The forsythia bush in the corner of our yard is blooming profusely. I cut some to bring inside…and took some macro pictures of the flowers there. After the bush finishes blooming, I will trim it back significantly. I planted pawpaw seeds under it and I am hoping they come up…start my grove of pawpaw trees with the forsythia’s protection from the hottest parts of the summer days.

The fragrant sumac is blooming. I bought the young plant last spring after the bloom time so this is my first season to observe the small flowers.

The lambs’ ear is returning. The clumps that get more sun did not die back like the largest clump on the north side of the house. There are two in a sunny place that might merge over the summer.

The small hens and chicks are pretty with additional color forming on the tips of their leaves over the winter. There are still two chicks. I’ll be moving more rocks away from them so it will be easier for them to spread.

The vinca under one of our cedars is blooming. It seems to be well contained. I don’t want more of it!

I’ve planted more pollinator/butterfly garden seeds in two places: enlarging the existing wildflower garden and a sunny area under a pine tree where I cleared away most of the pine needles (it is sunnier there because I cut some low branches).

I’m not sure if the bulbs I planted from my parents’ garden are going to survive. They had to be planted in the winter…not the optimal time. Hopefully they will become established over this summer although I doubt they will bloom.

The mound where a pine tree used to be (it fell and had to be removed) is going to fill out nicely with irises and I planted a tiny oak there (I cut it from my flower bed last fall and put it in a vase to enjoy the fall color….it grew a root and put out green leaves! It will take years before it gets big enough to impact the bed but could eventually dominate the back yard!). The beautyberry that is there has not leafed out yet.

The hostas are beginning to emerge…in dense clumps. I decided to divide two clumps…since I have a shady place that I’d like to convert from grass.

I planted divided clumps (roots plus a furled leave or two) at the pine needle and flower bed boundaries with grass. I covered the grass with extra pine needles (from under the tree where I planted pollinator/butterfly garden seeds) and clippings from some bushes). I was thrilled when the hosta leaves unfurled within a day or two after they were planted!

There is still a lot to do in the yard. I get a little done every day I am at home and it’s dry…over 60 degrees.

Annual stick/pinecone yard clean up

The chiminea left by the previous owner of our house comes in handy for burning sticks and pinecones that would otherwise be difficult to get rid of. The sticks come mostly from our neighbor’s river birch (the tree sheds into our side yard every time we have a strong wind!) but there is a mixture of crape myrtle and oak….and some branches trimmed from the forsythia last season that were thoroughly dried in their pile under a pine tree. The first two fires were all sticks! Most of them broke into short enough pieces easily enough but a few poked out the opening of the chiminea until they burnt enough that I could slide them the rest of the way in. The mornings were cool enough that I enjoyed watching the fire burn. My husband asked why I smelled like smoke when I came inside!

As I trimmed some lower branches off our largest pine, I realized that there were way too many pine cones and that I was going to need to burn some of them – particularly the ones that had fallen onto grass rather than the carpet of needles directly under the tree; otherwise the lawn mower was going to be challenged by them every time I mowed in the upcoming months.

I piled the cones into a wagon along with the forsythia sticks (which had broken easily into short lengths) and loaded the chiminea with the sticks and half the cones for the third fire of the season. I lit a paper towel wadded under the sticks to start the fire.

It was an interesting fire to watch. The forsythia sticks and most of the cones caught fire easily although some of the cones might have been damp enough to slow their burning. As the fire progressed, I enjoyed the movement of the flames…the shape of the cones and the way they changed from their brown color to black with glowing red crescents to black and white…and then ash. I added the rest of the pinecones once most of the initial load had burned….and they caught quickly. After they had burned down, I stirred the ashes and was surprised at the chunks that still hadn’t burned. I closed the screen on the chiminea and watched the fire die before I went inside – realizing how much I had enjoyed photographing the pinecone fire.

Macro Photography – March 2024

Sometimes I get in the mood for macro photography. It has happened several times this month.

The first was at my mother’s funeral. I was thinking about the bouquet of daffodils/narcissus that her neighbor cut from their old yard (with the new owner’s permission) and decided to take some macro views of the flowers while we were waiting for the service to begin. I thought about all the joy my mother experienced with her garden…with the flowers growing there and the ones she cut to bring inside. And that she transmitted that joy to her daughters.

The second round of macro photography was when I trimmed some low branches from one of my pine trees and decided to take a closer look at one of the branches.

Pine cones are so sturdy….they are hard on my lawn mower…but there is a fragile aspect to them too. At close range they are wrinkled and folded and etched.

The bark on a small stem shows where needles once grew and the expansion of the stem making brown islands in gray green.nce.

The bud at the end of stem looks reddish surrounded by green needles. Once again – I realize how much color there is that is unnoticed until we take a closer look.

The last macro photograph is one my daughter sent via text when she visited the Memphis Botanic Garden recently. She knows how much I enjoy finding fiddleheads….and evidently had caught the macro photography bug too. These were interesting because of the felt-like covering that must have protected them until they started to unfurl.

Hagerman National Wildlife Refuge – March 2024

My March visit to Hagerman National Wildlife Refuge was on my way home the day after my mother’s funeral in Dallas. I needed the healing of being out in a natural place like Hagerman. There were the usual male red-wing blackbirds proclaiming spring and their territory. Several times I could see males spaced out over the landscape…a visible cue for the size of their territories.

There were American wigeon, gadwalls, northern pintails, and American coots on the water in small numbers. A neotropic cormorant was enjoying the warming sun on its wings. Some birds had probably already headed north.

There was a group of 2 great blue herons and a great egret in sentry mode. They must have already had their breakfast because they didn’t move while I was watching.

A vocal cardinal perched in a tree near the road.

I had two favorite birds of the morning: a killdeer that was posturing in a field just as started down the wildlife loop road (it looked like it was signaling something…but I don’t know what) and

A female common goldeneye…the first I had seen at Hagerman. This bird would certainly be moving north soon since most of their breeding area is in Canada and Alaska!

I continued home…glad that I had made the effort to photograph birds at Hagerman.

Ten Little Celebrations – February 2024

I am always a little surprised at how easy it is to record something I celebrated every day…and how it is sometimes hard to pick the top 10 near the end of the month. The habit probably has helped me be more resilient to whatever is not going well….and appreciative of how fortunate I am.

A warm day to get the naked lady bulbs and iris rhizomes planted – Actually there were two Feburary days that were warm enough; I used one for planting in my yard and another for planting in my daughters.

Getting a full price offer on my Parents house – This was another double celebration since the offer and the closing happened in February.

Earl Grey tea – I seem to forget how much I like it…then celebrate rediscovering it.

Home again – After the many weeks away late in 2023, I find myself celebrating each and every time I arrive back home.

Out to lunch with my parents – I celebrated that they both were enthusiastic about going and that they ate well at the restaurant for lunch….and wanted their leftovers for dinner!

Snow suitable for patterns – Making patterns in the snow has been a treat this winter….celebrating my second attempt that benefited from my prior experience and the snow being wet (made the pattern I walked stand out more).

Pintails. I celebrated the picture of a pintail at Hagerman….one of my best so far this year.

Married life – Being married for over 51 years is something I often take for granted but, for some reason, I found myself celebrating more this month – that wasn’t even my annual anniversary. Having the long term relationship…a person that I know well, and that knows me well…is fundamental to the way I feel about just about everything else.

Port Aransas Whooping Crane Festival – Celebrating our first multi-day festival since COVID…more on our experiences in upcoming blog posts.

Parents’ house ready for new owner – Lots of coordination with my sisters…and physical work…celebrating that we got everything cleaned out before closing.

Zooming – February 2024

It’s been a busy month with 2 trips to Texas and then a flurry of activity when I was home in Missouri. I tried to take breaks for photography…even if they were very short! There are pictures from my parents’ house in Carrollton that has been sold, Josey Ranch in Carrollton, Hagerman National Wildlife Refuge, and snow at home. Enjoy the February 2024 slideshow!

Miniature Pumpkins (after 5 Months)

I harvested the miniature pumpkins from last summers’ vines back in October. There were 8 of them in all. I gave three of them to my daughter and she still has them on her kitchen counter – looking much the same as they did in October.

I put the 5 I kept in a cut glass bowl, and they have been on my kitchen table since. Two of mine have dried – shriveled. It seems that their color has changed slightly. They are not soft and don’t smell. They are even more interesting now than they were back in October!

Last from my Parents’ House

The last work trip I made to empty storage areas from my parents’ house before the sale is finalized at the end of the month, was mostly about how to donate, reuse, or trash what was left. I did notice that the Japanese quince was starting to bloom. My mother’s favorite color was orange when I was growing up; the color of the flowers is probably why the bush was purchased…why my mother cut the early blooms to bring indoors.  

As I cleaned out the storage areas there were only a few items I decided I could reuse. One was a very large clip board (shown with a standard sized clipboard for comparison). There were two of them. I chose to take the one that had remnants of paint around the edges; one of my sisters took the other. I assume my mother used it when she was taking art classes at the local community college, but she doesn’t remember the large clip boards at all.

There were 4 pieces of Masonite in the pile of wood that we were putting at the curb for pickup (the city does curbside pickups on Friday in their area…but often the items are picked up by others and taken away before the city trucks come). The pieces were lighter in color than the clipboard; I decided they would work as Zentangle tiles…that could be hung together or separately.

Another find – covered with dust – were some vertical blinds. At first, we thought they might be from the window treatment in my dad’s old office – but the ones there are very different. I opted to take them to use as Zentangle tiles as well – probably using the smooth side rather than the textured. They have a hole in the top that makes them easy to hang from a nail (maybe a decorative one).

Now I have taken the moving blankets out of my car; they worked well for all my trips to Carrollton in January and the first weeks of February. The house and storage areas are empty. My parents’ house is ready for a new owner.

Ramping up Elder Care – February 2024

My parents have rediscovered the joy of going out to a restaurant for a meal. The weekday late lunchtime seems to work best (i.e. not crowded). It is quite a production: two elderly people with walkers…and two (or three) others with them. One of my sisters bought a small refrigerator for their room and they relish being able to put their leftovers there (and seem to prefer eating them for their next meal!). This is probably something I will try to do with them every time I visit. There are a lot of restaurants near the assisted living group home to experience.

Sometimes major bends in our life path are only recognized in retrospect; the events of January and February 2024 are a bend everyone in my family anticipated and acknowledges in real time. My sisters and I are acclimating to others providing the day to day care of our parents with their move to an assisted living home and the family has lost a long term hub for family events with the selling of their house.

  • My parents moved to an assisted living group home at the end of 2023. They’ve settled into their new environment. My mother is improving; maybe it is simply a trend that started back in December, but it could also be the increased social interactions and her confidence that someone is always available to help. It is still challenging for my sisters and I to back away and not jump to assist them when we visit. The staff is helpful and patient with everyone! My dad is about the same although he was very disoriented at first; he is eating well.

  • My sisters and I began to clean out my parents’ house soon after we moved them. They had lived in the house for over 30 years. There was a lot to go through. I made two short (less than a week) trips to Carrollton to help. During January we cleared most of the house by

    • Distributing furniture to family members or selling it or marking it for donation. I took two small tables, and my daughter took a larger octagon table for her office.

    • Donating clothes. There was very little that someone else in the family could wear. The closets in their assisted living rooms are filled to the brim with clothes that they wear.

    • Following the ‘bequeath’ list for decorative and kitchen items. I got 2 items from their 50th anniversary (one passed down from my maternal grandparents’ 50th), 1 from my parents’ 25th  anniversary, items that I remember from my childhood (a knife, fork and spoon of the silver plate my mother bought before she married; a orange cut glass bowl that I bought as a present to my Mother because it was her favorite color), 2 paintings my mother made (one of a dogwood blossom…and the pressed flower that I sent to her in 1984 from my Virginia house that she used as her model), the remnants of my maternal grandmother’s China….too many things to name although I am realizing that I should make a list for myself.

  • The house went on the market on February 1st and we accepted a full-price offer on the 2nd. Closing was requested for 2/28. February became a sprint to clear out the two sheds on the property and donate the furniture that no one in the family wanted. I made a very focused trip to help.

    • Salvation Army came with a truck to get furniture and boxes of books. It was tricky since the city had the street in front of the house torn up (infrastructure update project). The truck managed the pickup from the alley.

    • Tools were mostly distributed to the sister that wanted them. Some were tools from my paternal grandfather.  My daughter got a telescoping tree trimmer (she has the bigger trees…but I can borrow it when I need it).

    • The trash and recycle bins were full for every pickup and some items were put at the curb in front of a neighbor’s house for bulk pickup.

    • Some odds and ends were taken to be repurposed. I got some white vertical blinds (not attached to anything…just loose pieces of blind) which I plan to cover with Zentangle patterns and hang (not sure where yet). There were three small pieces of Masonite that I got for another Zentangle project. Some pieces of wood were taken by my sisters for art projects and specific repairs at their house.

    • One sister is having the king headboard (purchased in 1963…beautiful wood) made into a display case. She also took the antique meat grinder that we found in one of the sheds.

    • Another sister is taking most of the yard equipment to distribute to her family’s houses so that it will be easier for her to do yard maintenance.

Are we through the bend….or is more to come before we settle into a new normal? As I write this my dad has tested positive for COVID-19. The symptoms were mild and initially attributed to some new eye drops. He was tested after one of my sisters that visits frequently tested positive. He is getting Paxlovid. This is the first experience with COVID for him and my mother; they are both vaccinated. Hopefully this will be a minor blip and we’ll achieve a new normal in March.

Previous posts: November 2023, November 2023 update, December 2023, January 2024

Bulbs and Rhizomes

A day in the 50s was a good one to plant bulbs (naked lady) and rhizomes (iris) that I had brought from Carrollton. I dug a trench in the mound left where the pine tree fell over last year in our yard and was removed. I alternated naked lady bulbs and iris rhizomes.

The naked lady bulbs were already sprouting, and I hope they survive the cold weather that is probably still coming in our winter. I am hopefull that the bed will be very lush with plants this year: iris, naked lady (maybe not blooming yet but lots of leaves), beautyberry plus some other native plants I added there.

I planted more iris rhizomes along the fence. If all of them survive I should have a nice row of irises and eventually they will crowd out the grass along the fence (reduce the need for trying to control its height).

The day after I planted bulbs and rhizomes in my yard was another day in the 50s, so I took spider lily bulbs and iris rhizomes to my daughters’. We pulled up some landscaping fabric in her front flower bed, cut it so we could remove that section, planted into the soil, then covered the area with the leaves and bark mulch that had been on top of the fabric. It was easier than removing fabric at my house where there are rocks on top of it!

So glad to get all the buckets of bulbs and rhizomes emptied!

Cooper’s Hawk in the River Birch

I was in my office…at the computer…when a hawk flew by. It perched in the neighbor’s river birch. I could see it from where I sat! I took pictures through the window (with a screen). They are not great pictures but good enough for the id: an immature Cooper’s Hawk….rounded tail, brown upper parts, white underparts with brown streaking, yellow eye, banded tail.

I was in my office…at the computer…when a hawk flew by. It perched in the neighbor’s river birch. I could see it from where I sat! I took pictures through the window (with a screen). They are not great pictures but good enough for the id: an immature Cooper’s Hawk….rounded tail, brown upper parts, white underparts with brown streaking, yellow eye, banded tail.

The feathers on the breast are fluffed making the bird look larger. It was a cold windy day.

This bird could have been stalking smaller birds coming to our feeders although it was not eating anything while I watched. The bird seemed to be using the high branches of the river birch as a lookout…and a place to enjoy the sunshine. It did NOT fly off in the direction of our feeders when it left!

Our Yard – February 2024

On a warmer day in early February, I walked around the yard – still in winter lock down. The pavers provide a little color with splotches of moss…framed by grass I should pull before new shoots emerge in the spring.

Under the pine tree there is standing debris of last season’s pokeweeds. I am thinking about trimming off the lowest branches of the tree and planting wildflowers under the pine needles. They should get enough sun to create a little garden under the tree.

The forsythia buds already seem to be getting larger. The mulch/compost I put under the bush last season seems to be holding up well. Trimming the branches away from the fence after they bloom might provide room to add some space for additional plantings. I hope the pawpaw seeds I planted slightly under the bush come up and are protected by it until they get a good start.

I love the rich color of fresh pine cones in the needles….but I need to pick them up before I start mowing again….they can be hard for the mower to handle.

The rhododendron buds look healthier…and there are more of them…this year. Last year, they got damaged by severe cold at some point during the winter. I will be thrilled to have more of the flowers to enjoy this coming spring!

Overall – our winter yard is still full of photographic subjects…and holds wonderful potential for the coming season.

An Empty House

A familiar house looks so different when the people and furniture are missing. That has happened to my parents’ house. The view of the garden through the sliding glass door is the same but there is no travel chair that my mother found convenient to move her position with the sun.

The sunlight coming through the windows of a bedroom and shines on a bare wall that would have recently held large pictures and the headboard of a king-size bed.

Some of decorative touches added over 33 years ago by the previous owner are still intact….a part of the house that stays. They seem more obvious with so much else gone.

The house will likely change a lot with the new owner; it will be renovated and resold…sparkling in new way…for a new family. We take the memories with us, leaving the house behind.

Transition Trips to Carrollton TX

I’ve now made two trips to Texas since the beginning of the year and am planning a third. They are very different than before my parents moved to an assisted living group home.

  • I am not staying at their home. On the first trip, I stayed at a hotel relatively close to their group home. The second trip I stayed with my niece. The hotel turned out to be high stress because the deadbolt on my room was jammed (i.e. the chain was the only extra locking on the door). Staying with my niece was low stress for me but probably high stress for her.

  • Visits with my parents were short…not 24/7 like previously. I anticipated that change…but it still feels odd…like I am missing a lot. At the same time, I am much less anxious about how they are doing when me or my sisters are not there.

  • My sisters and I worked to get the house cleaned out and listed for sale. This is the first time I’ve been guiding the sale of a house that is not my own…and I am glad that the technology is there to allow for me to do part of it remotely. We got 2 full price offers on the 1st day it was on the market and have accepted one of them. We still have the garage and storage sheds to clear. We have the milestone of the closing by the end of the month. There is still the physical and emotional work of cleaning out items collected over my parents’ lives that they no longer need. The unseasonably warm weather has helped.

  • I stopped at Hagerman once…went to Josey Ranch twice…but didn’t spend as much time there. I stopped at a greenway park I hadn’t noticed before on the second trip. The places I get out into nature in Texas are going to be changing to parks closer to where my parents are living now…in Dallas rather than Carrollton.

  • We had joked about observing the 4/8 eclipse from my parents’ driveway…but the house will that theirs by that time. I am realizing how many family events centered on the location over the past 30+ years. It will feel strange to not go there anymore.

The transition is happening so quickly with their move to assisted living in early January and the sale of their home finalized at the end of February. It is hard emotionally and physically, but it is also not a prolonged agony. My sisters and I are looking forward to a new normal in March!

Ten Little Celebrations – January 2024

There are so many little celebrations every day. Here are my top 10 for January 2024.

51 years of being married. OK – perhaps this one is not ‘little.’ We marked the day by getting a special meal (picked up, eaten at home)…but the more significant part of the celebration was the savoring of being long marrieds…of always being supportive of each other, particularly when things are stressful.

Spider lily bulbs. I celebrated getting spider lily bulbs (and some iris rhizomes) planted before the very cold weather in mid-January.

A fragrant candle. I finally used up a very fragrant candle I had moved from Maryland (in the car since they are not permitted on moving trucks). When I entered my office each morning, I celebrated how it smelled from the candle I’d burned a few hours the previous evening!

Being home. Being away from home for 7 weeks and then leaving again for Texas 2.5 weeks later for a few days gave me several opportunities to celebrate coming and being home!

Braum’s Strawberry Poppyseed Chicken Salad. Yum. I had about given up on finding something at a fast food place that I liked…so I celebrated this discovery. The greens are fresh, the grilled chicken tender, the strawberries, blueberries, and pineapple make it special.

First Snow. I celebrated being home for snow…not on the road between Texas and home!

Patterns in the snow. I celebrated my first pattern walks in the snow…hope to try it again soon.

Old friends. I celebrated that two old friends (that I hadn’t talked to in years) contacted me just when I needed to talk to them…before I even realized how wonderful that would be.

2 years cancer free. Celebrating a 2-year mark of a 5-year monitoring regime for cancer after surgery…and all the checks are indicating no cancer.

Being indoors. When the temperature is single digits or below zero…it’s worth celebrating an indoor day in a warm house.

Zooming – January 2024

January was a very light month for photography; I was recovering from the stress of being away from home and made 2 short trips to Carrollton very focused on helping my parents adjust to their new home and preparing to sell the house they had lived in for over 30 years. Even with fewer images to select from – I savor the 9 selected as the best for the month: birds and snow and sunrises….and a surprised flower (taken near the end of December just as the first hard freeze was sending the Carrollton TX area into winter). Enjoy the January 2024 slideshow!

Patterns in the Snow

A few days after photographing the snow activity around the patio, it was a little warmer (in the teens) and the sun was out. I ventured out at mid-morning to look around the yard and neighborhood. I noticed tracks in the snow. Squirrel?

My real objective was to walk patterns on the untracked snow of the tennis courts. It was my first attempt…and a learning experience.

  • I had chosen 2 simple patterns from my Zentangle experiences. The free form curves worked better than the “straight” lines.

  • The contrast between shadows and bright sunlight played havoc with my line of sight. The poles at the ends of the net worked well but the other corners were more nebulous.

  • Even though I tried to retrace each line at least twice, additional retracing would have made the lines more solid. Maybe wearing snowshoes would make that easier although I am not quite ready to make the purchase (yet).

The tennis courts are an optimal surface to walk patterns in the snow – flat and with ‘posts’ for orientation.

  • The snow was a good depth…2-3 inches.

  • It was cold enough (teens) that there had been no melting.

After I finished on the tennis courts I walked along the path a bit – made arches away from tracks made by others. Some had melted through to the asphalt. On the bridge over the channel into the ponds, there had been more traffic and the snow had fallen between the planks.

My winter gear kept me warm enough (down filled coat with hood, tube scarf over my head under the hood, mask, snow pants, hiking boots with wool socks, battery powered heat in my gloves). But I was ready to head indoors!